BROADCASTS.com

Published: Jan. 4, 2022, 11:48 p.m.

Robert is joined by Jayson Gaddis\u2014author, relationship expert, and coach who teaches people the one class they didn\u2019t get in school--\u201cHow To Do Relationships.\u201d He is the founder of The Relationship School training programs and podcast. Robert and Jayson discuss the pros and cons of relationship practices and help uncover ways that we both set ourselves up for success and failure in our relationships. Together they will take you on a journey considering some of the mechanics of what goes on in our relationships that are most important to us, whether those are professional working relationships, intimate partnerships, or at home with our kids. Are there reliable ways to work towards more health and intimacy even in the face of conflict? Jayson has a well-developed toolkit for success.
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\nShow Notes

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1:14 - Introducing Jayson Gaddis

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4:16 - What is relationship practice?

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4:40 - Listening in a way people feel understood, and can receive you

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5:26 - All different levels of relationship

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5:45 - High stakes relationships

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7:00 - \u201cIf you think you\u2019re enlightened, go spend the holidays with your family\u201d

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7:34 - The first step is not talking, it\u2019s learning how to become a better listener

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9:11 - \u201cCaptive audience,\u201d \u201cMonologers,\u201d and active listening

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12:34 - The disaster of feeling seen in workshops vs. not feeling seen at home

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13:48 - \u201cthe authentic alien imposter\u201d and setting better context

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15:52 - Feedback and feedback for leaders

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18:00 - Diversity, equity, and inclusion

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19:07 - Feedback conversations as a habit and the \u201cplus/delta\u201d practice

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20:11 - Positive versus Constructive feedback - coach John Wooden versus Bill Belicheck

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22:58 - Hyper-vigilance to feel safe

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24:09 - Some of us look for what\u2019s wrong

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24:45 - The \u201cnarcissistic partnerships\u201d

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25:29 - How do we know when to speak up about what\u2019s not working?

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27:09 - People don\u2019t know how to get to a baseline of \u201cgood\u201d and \u201csafe\u201d

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28:54 - The work never stops.

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29:19 - A collaborative partner with a growth-oriented mindset is important

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30:55 - Getting to zero, aka a regulated nervous system

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31:25 - Four ways we disconnect: posture, collapse, seek, avoid

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33:06 - Zero is possible!

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34:45 - Mutual power relationships

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35:08 - Interactive regulation: I can help you regulate your nervous system

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35:55 - How can you set your kids up for success to contribute to the dynamic?

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39:02 - It all boils down to secure attachment

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41:22 - Is there a core capability we can foster for success here?

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42:48 - Secure attachment is created by the repair process after disconnection happens

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43:07 - The Still Face Experiment with Dr. Edward Tronick

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43:50 - Mom can\u2019t attune to baby\u2019s needs

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45:40 - Box breathing: Allow your nervous system to move from sympathetic to parasympathetic

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46:19 - Simple meditation\u2014 NESTR: Number, Emotion, Sensation, Thoughts, Resource

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48:57 - The difference between Attachment Science and Attachment Parenting and Styles

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51:09 - Kids emotions should not run the household

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53:22 - Pitfall: \u201crelationships are supposed to make us feel good\u201d

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54:13 - Pitfall: \u201cconflict is not good\u201d

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55:50 - Importance of higher purpose

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56:39 - Personal responsibility

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58:21 - Gaddis\u2019 new book: Getting to Zero: How to Work Through Conflict in Your High-Stakes Relationships

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More from Jayson:
\nhttps://www.jaysongaddis.com/
\nhttps://relationshipschool.com/
\nhttps://www.instagram.com/jaysongaddis/
\nhttps://twitter.com/jaygaddis
\nhttps://www.facebook.com/jaysongaddisfanpage/
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