Podcasts Education Self-Improvement Crystal Paine Show 41. Building a Relationship of Trust With Your Kids

41. Building a Relationship of Trust With Your Kids

Published: July 9, 2019, 10:31 a.m.

Do you feel like you can come to us and share your struggles honestly?\u201d

We sat the girls down last week and asked them this question. I told them that someone had requested we do a podcast episode on building trust and open communication with your kids and we wanted to get their truthful opinion on whether they felt it was a topic we could tackle.

Four years ago, I was deep in the trenches of parenting for my own reputation. When a child was struggling or had made a bad choice, I approached it \u2014 unknowingly \u2014 from the perspective of, \u201cWhat will make me look good as a parent?\u201d

It\u2019s hard to admit that out loud, but it\u2019s true. I cared way more what people thought of ME than I cared about my kids\u2019 hearts.

As a result of this, I wasn\u2019t close with my kids. I didn\u2019t truly know their hearts.

There wasn\u2019t a trust relationship built up and they didn\u2019t feel like they could honestly share how they felt \u2014 because I would probably snap at them if I felt like they weren\u2019t approaching something maturely enough. (They\u2019ve since told me this was how they felt.)

There was very little grace in my parenting and I carried around a heavy backpack full of guilt\u2026 for how I was failing, for the ways my kids weren\u2019t living up to my expectations of them. All of this was rooted in my unhealthy prioritization of what others thought of me.

In turn, I became my kids\u2019 critic, nit-picker, and Holy Spirit. I struggled to see the good because I was constantly frustrated by how they were falling short.

And every day, I was driving a bigger wedge between my kids and me.

This week on the podcast \u2014 with the girls\u2019 blessing and lots of their input and suggestions (!) \u2014 we share what has changed in the way we approach parenting. We talk about practical ways we\u2019ve fostered trust and good communication with our kids (most of the ideas we share are suggestions the girls gave \u2014 and they did not hold back in their thoughts and opinions on this!)

In This Episode:\xa0

[00:57] \u2013 Jesse and I recap our travel adventures in Utah, Wyoming, Montana, and Idaho \u2014 including our thoughts on\xa0Grand Teton National Park,\xa0Yellowstone National Park, and\xa0Old Faithful.

[19:49] \u2013 Believe it or not, Jesse read more than me this past week! He shares the two books he recently finished.

[22:00] \u2013 Want your kids to keep reading over the summer?\xa0Check out this printable we created!

[23:41] \u2013 On this episode, we answer another one of our listener\u2019s questions about establishing a trusting and open relationship with our kids. We talk about the importance of making time for one-on-one conversations, but not trying to force them.\xa0{Kathrynne\u2019s advice!}

[29:19] \u2013 We also discuss how being willing to apologize and admit when we\u2019re wrong can make such a difference. One thing that has made a big difference is us acknowledging with our kids that\xa0feelings are not wrong, but it\u2019s how we act on those feelings.

[31:57] \u2013 Ask questions to open the doors of communication and listen rather than preach sermons!\xa0Step into your kid\u2019s world and invite them to share in yours. Spend time doing things that your kids like to do!

[40:13] \u2013 We share ways we\u2019ve let the kids make their own decisions in their lives, allowing us to build our trust.

Links and Resources:

Have feedback on the show or suggestions for future episodes or topics?\xa0Send me an email:\xa0crystal@moneysavingmom.com

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