Podcasts Culture Childless not by Choice Episode 140--Hiding In Plain Sight

Episode 140--Hiding In Plain Sight

Published: May 22, 2022, 12:24 a.m.

b'

Intro:

Hello, and welcome to episode 140 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world, reminding you, us, that we can live joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice lives.\\xa0\\xa0

Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in!\\xa0\\xa0

\\xa0What is today\\u2019s show about?

\\xa0\\xa0Hiding in plain sight

\\xa0

Thank you Patreon contributors:

I would like to take a moment to thank the people who make a financial contribution to the platform on a monthly basis, my Patreon Contributors.\\xa0

Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much!\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0

If you are not yet a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you!\\xa0\\xa0

If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at booksbycivillamorgan@gmail.com.\\xa0

Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you!

\\xa0
https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice

\\xa0

Email: Info@civillamorgan.com

\\xa0

\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0Or

\\xa0

Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen, and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.

Read my social media post for the month of May.\\xa0

\\xa0

Body of episode:

This year I decided not to concentrate so much on Mother\\u2019s Day, but instead to concentrate on how those of us who are childless not by choice show up in the world, especially around days like Mother\\u2019s Day.\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0

I would be remiss if I did not wish those listeners who are moms a Happy Mother\\u2019s Day. And of course, a very Happy Mother\\u2019s Day to our own moms, whether they are still with us or not.\\xa0

As many of you know, my mom, my best friend, and favorite person ever; passed the week of Mother\\u2019s Day, 2019.\\xa0 Talk about making a grand exit.\\xa0 I miss her so much I still cry myself to sleep some nights.\\xa0

Her birthday is at the end of March, but I promise you as soon as February hits my whole outlook on life changes. It\\u2019s like the sky just goes dim.\\xa0 April, no biggie. And then comes May.\\xa0

I miss trying to figure out what to buy her for Mother\\u2019s Day. She loved scarves and brooches. And she loved a certain perfume that I won\\u2019t bother to mention. She also loved all the music by The Gaithers, so I usually tried to get her their latest CDs. I loved shopping for her.\\xa0

Happy Heavenly Mother\\u2019s Day mommy. I love and miss you.\\xa0

\\xa0I would also like to say Happy Mother\\u2019s Day Mexico as Mother\\u2019s Day Mexico is on May 10th.\\xa0

\\xa0Well, if your mom is still here, and you are able to reach out, please try to do so. I know some relationships are frayed, I get it. I will leave that to you.\\xa0

Either way, this time around, this episode is for those of us who are childless not by choice during the month of May.\\xa0

Those of us who may be hiding in plain sight, or maybe deciding to do something different on Mother\\u2019s Day. In fact, one of the ladies in our Facebook group for women only, the Childless not by Choice with Civilla Morgan Facebook group; asked what everyone does to get through Mother\\u2019s Day. The responses were varied. I loved that she asked the question.\\xa0

Some responses included spending time with their own mothers, celebrating mothers in their lives, etc. If you have been listening long enough you know I stopped attending church on Mother\\u2019s Day. I had started going to my mom\\u2019s church with her to celebrate her. But now that she\\u2019s gone, I don\\u2019t go at all. Although I will probably watch online.\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0

You know, when I think about hiding in plain sight, I think about those puzzles we did as children, and that we now do as adults to keep our brains active. You know, kinda like the Where\\u2019s Waldo puzzle searches. The item being searched for is right in front of us, but a lot of times we miss it.\\xa0

As childless not by choice people though, are we being searched for, or are we typically ignored? And I don\\u2019t mean that to sound like everyone is mean. But let\\u2019s face it if you are the one person in a crowd: a party, a family gathering, etc., aren\\u2019t you ignored while the parents are questioned about how big the kids are, how they are doing in school, are they behaving, etc.\\xa0 And you had better fall in line and join the Q&A or you are viewed as uncaring.\\xa0

Oh, and before someone gets offended, I love the kids in my life. I want to know how they are. I want to invest whatever I can (and that does not always mean money). But you do run the risk of being ignored if you have not made a contribution to carrying on the family line.\\xa0\\xa0

You\\u2019ve probably experienced it: someone asks \\u2018do you have kids?\\u2019\\xa0 or \\u2018How many kids do you have?\\u2019 When you respond that you do not have kids, the conversation goes silent, there is discomfort,\\xa0 and then you each find someone else to talk to.\\xa0 Has that ever happened to you?\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0\\xa0

What about the commentary about you being made to work late because you don\\u2019t have kids and your co-workers do.\\xa0 The commentaries are made without thought to our plans. If our plans do not include children, they are not real plans.\\xa0

What to do? How to deal with this?

I\\u2019ve said it before, but it can never be said too much: We have to make sure our co-workers and family members, the people in our lives realize and recognize our kind but firm boundaries.\\xa0 And then we have to be willing to make other plans when the\\u2013family, friends, and co-workers, refuse to respect us as childless people.\\xa0

Life is short. Do we really need to hear the unsolicited suggestions and commentary about our lives? Do we need the mental and emotional abuse especially if we have already discussed the behavior with people? No. The answer is no.

I know that it\\u2019s much easier to hide in plain sight. To lay low and just go with the flow, than rock the boat at work or in the family during the holidays. But I have to ask you, what would your life be like if you made decisions, good healthy decisions about the direction of your life? What would happen if you told your co-worker or boss that although you would generally stay behind, you do actually have plans?

What would your life be like?

\\xa0

Before I leave you today, I want to read you something that really spoke to me. I saw this quote on Twitter near the end of April and wow. I mean I read and re-read it several times. I asked permission to share it and I am so glad she said yes.\\xa0

Oh my gosh. I read that quote, re-read it, and then said \\u2018wow, that\\u2019s me. That\\u2019s where I am. That\\u2019s where I want to be. That\\u2019s where I want you to be. No rush, just head in that general direction. You will get there.

\\xa0

Thanks for listening!




My contact information:

Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.com
Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan
Twitter: @civilla1
Instagram: @joyandrelevance
Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM
LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM
https://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice




Episode quotes:

'