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Last time I promised you something \u2018sexy\u2019 for the next show.\xa0

Now\u2026\u2019sexy\u2019 can mean a lot of things \u2014 exotic, erotic, intense, dangerous, and yes\u2026even pornographic.

So, if I\u2019m gonna to go for the gold star and circle all of the above on this multiple choice test? Then I\u2019ll do it with this sordid, scary, and downright scandalous tale of one unbelievable night and morning in Vientiane - the communist capital of Laos - that I will never, ever forget.\xa0

Hunker down, kids, and smoke \u2018em if you get \u2018em\u2026this is Sexy Storytime\u2026on Buddha and the Slut (NSFW)

When you\u2019ve been living out a backpack for long enough, pinching those pennies or euros or baht or crowns or dong, you eventually find that magical spot you want to call \u2018home\u2019 for more than a month. Someplace that clicks with your inherent cultural sensibilities. You know the deal. Good weather. Great food. Hot girls. Fast internet. Mostly avoidable plagues and crime. Sand, sun, and surf. And, god willing, all of it on the Cheap.

Tall order, you say? Not so much. These places ain\u2019t just in Alex Garland novels that get turned into Danny Boyle movies that ironically star A-list environmentalists while destroying the host ecosystem.

They do exist.

The problem isn\u2019t finding them, my friends\u2026

It\u2019s staying\xa0in them.

(Featuring original music by TOBIAS TINKER and STILLNESS 3)