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When a child is particularly emotionally intelligent, and a parent is particularly emotionally vulnerable, an inversion of the typical relationship can occur where the child devotes themselves to meeting the parent\u2019s needs rather than the other way around. This can lead the child to lose touch with their own wants and needs \u2013 with their authentic self \u2013 which then leads to underlying feelings of worthlessness, uncertainty, and self-alienation in adulthood.\nExtreme versions of this pattern are known as parentification, but mild to moderate versions are surprisingly common. On today\u2019s episode of Being Well, Dr. Rick and Forrest Hanson explore how we can heal from the effects of these difficult early experiences and rediscover who we truly are.\xa0\nThis material was completely eye-opening for me, and it\u2019s one of my favorite episodes we've ever produced.\nWant to learn more? Check out Alice Miller\u2019s classic book The Drama of the Gifted Child.\nPrefer watching video? You\xa0can watch this episode on YouTube.\nKey Topics:\n0:00: Introduction\n2:55: Distinction between parentification and the gifted child\n5:05: Serving a psychological function - what is the \u201cgift\u201d we\u2019re talking about?\n7:50: Self-definition vs. defining yourself through relationship\n10:30: Examples of generational patterns\n16:45: Accumulation of subtle forms of parentification over time\n21:55: Patterns of interaction, and differentiation\n24:00: Summary of material so far\n27:00: \u201cThe manic defense against depression\u201d\n30:30: What can people do?\n35:00: Love, aspiration, and power in parenting styles\n40:20: Creating a coherent (and balanced) narrative\n43:30: Seductive narratives, grief not shame, claiming your nature\n51:25: What emotions were you permitted?\n53:35: Recap\nWednesday Meditation Group: Join Rick for his freely offered online weekly meditation, talk, and discussion.\nSupport the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.\nSponsors:\nJoin over a million people using BetterHelp, the world\u2019s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!\nWant to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.\nReady to shake up your protein Ritual? Being Well listeners get 10% off during your first 3 months at ritual.com/WELL.\nConnect with the show:\n\nSubscribe on iTunes\n\nFollow Forrest on YouTube\n\nFollow us on Instagram\n\nFollow Forrest on Instagram\n\nFollow Rick on Facebook\n\nFollow Forrest on Facebook\n\nVisit Forrest's website