237: Dazzs Video Emporium

Published: Dec. 21, 2023, midnight

Welcome back dear customers, it\u2019s time to reopen Darren\u2019s virtual video store.\n\nIf you put on the special headset we have provided, you can marvel at the 1980\u2019s decadence of sticky carpets, dodgy cardboard displays and video tapes that have not been rewound (and we as employees \u2013 at 1980\u2019s pay rates \u2013 hate that).\xa0\n\nWalk up to the counter and ask if we have any video nasties under the counter.\xa0\xa0Once we have confirmed you are not special branch, we\u2019ll be glad to help you.\xa0\xa0After all, we haven\u2019t paid the fine for the last infringement and Darren is refusing to do anymore orders of community service.\xa0\xa0In his view keeping the shop open is doing his bit for the community, even if his rental charges are a little above the norm.\n\nAnyway, we can\u2019t stand around here chatting to you all day, we have to push our product on the punters (sorry, I mean customers), or Darren will dock our meagre wages.\xa0\xa0\n\nSo, if you would care to step over this way, we can reveal to you some of our top rentals this month, all come with Darren\u2019s seal of approval\n\n- In the musical section we have\xa0Greatest Days, a very moving film featuring the songs of Take That.\xa0\xa0Darren says this will bring a tear to your eye.\xa0\xa0\n\n- Step over to the Foreign Language section, an area of the store not well travelled in these parts, where you will find almost unrented tapes for\xa0The Three Musketeers : D\u2019Artagnan\xa0and the violent actioner\xa0Sissu. There isn\u2019t much dialogue in the latter so that is starting to shoot up our violent rental charts.\n\n- Perhaps the horror section is more to your liking \u2013 it\u2019s the one area of the store Graham fears to go.\xa0\xa0Here you will find\xa0Becky.\xa0\xa0No, she\u2019s not a YTS employee, instead a teenager out for vengeance after her family are kidnapped.\xa0\xa0Actually, she could well be a local YTS trainee in this area.\xa0\n\n- As a more discerning customer we can offer you access to our under the counter section.\xa0\xa0Here we have the comedy\xa0Rosaline. Withdrawn by our competitors, Neil\u2019s Video Boutique, because of copyright infringement.\xa0\xa0We have a few copies which weren\u2019t returned to the distributor and are well worth checking out.\n\n- There is also a TV section where you will find a very impressive documentary called\xa0Muscles And Mayhem, which lifts the lid on the scandals associated with an old American TV series.\n\nThere you have it \u2013 something for everyone.\n\nWhat\u2019s that?\xa0\xa0You want to see the manager.\xa0\xa0\n\nSorry not possible today as he is back in court defending the business after the heavy-lidded returns slot went wrong, again.\xa0\xa0I don\u2019t see what the fuss is about \u2013 surgery these days mean most limbs can be reattached with little unsightly scarring!\xa0\n\nI hope you enjoy your visit to Darren\u2019s video store.\xa0\xa0If we don\u2019t see you here, we hope to see you At The Flicks.