BROADCASTS.com

A few years ago, I wrote the online serial novel\xa0Unsong. Someday I want to get it published. But I want to fix it up before I try. I know publishers will have their own editors and their own demands. But I want something I\u2019m happy with before I give it to someone else to tear apart.

This post is to solicit feedback on what needs improvement and how it could be improved. I\u2019m going to list some of my thoughts below. All of these are really spoiler-y. If you haven\u2019t read\xa0Unsong\xa0yet, you may not want to read further. If you have read it, I welcome your input.

Simple Issues I\u2019ve Already Kind Of Decided But Would Welcome Feedback On Anyway

1. I equivocate between the terms \u201cUnitarians\u201d and \u201cSingers\u201d pretty frequently, and it takes a bit of a stretch to establish everyone as Unitarians. Plan to excise the Unitarian plotline and just call that whole group of people \u201cSingers\u201d permanently.

2. Probably will delete Chapter 17, \u201cNo Earthly Parents I Confess\u201d with the mythological birth of the Comet King, in favor of having the Comet King offhandedly mention his birth in Chapter 29, \u201cWho Respects The Infant\u2019s Faith\u201d (which he basically already does). I feel like Chapter 17 is a bit out of character for the rest of the book, and we don\u2019t really need to know anything about the Comet King\u2019s birth except that he was born of Comet West. I\u2019m kind of sad I have to delete Comet West\u2019s speech, Aaron\u2019s digression on the word \u201cmaiden\u201d, and the cosmic significance of Roe v. Wade, but maybe I can shoehorn some of that in elsewhere (any suggestions?)

3. Probably will drop \u201cthe Harmonious Jade Dragon Empire\u201d as a random gag when referring to China. More people were confused than amused, and the benefit from gagginess is probably lower than risk of being accused of racism or Orientalism or something. But then do I keep the story in Interlude Chet where someone golem-izes the Terracotta Army, or do I nix that as plot irrelevant?