Star Trek (2009)

Published: Jan. 24, 2021, 8:17 p.m.

\nActing Managers Log, Stardate...unknown (time\u2019s weird in the Wasteland). Dave has been gone for a month and I'm already feeling...uneasy. I\u2019ll admit, the burden of his duties has taken me off guard. I had assumed that Dave was a lazy, do-nothing leader who relegated all of the grunt work to myself. Alas, I have found that Dave\u2019s duties include hobnobbing with the Barons of Bartertown, making supply runs to Citadel, and collecting payment on late fees from the mutants in Sector 5...by any means necessary. It\u2019s hard work, and I'm beginning to doubt my abilities as a leader.\n
\n\nThankfully, Jackie popped in for her monthly visit to skim some of our irradiated Skittles and offered some leadership tips, courtesy of the 2009 J.J. Abrams reboot of Star Trek. If this film has taught me anything, the key to being a good leader is to have sex with a lot of women and get choked out...a lot. Needless to say, I am less enthused about the latter.\n
\n\nListen as we discuss a remake that ditches the metaphors and introspectiveness of the original in favor of sexiness and \u2018splosions; we compare Leonard Nimoy\u2019s wholesome Twitter history to William Shatner\u2019s bizarre rant-scapade; and finally, we ask the all important question, \u201cWho let Kirk bring an apple on the Kobayashi Maru test?!\u201d.\n
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\n\nThis is Mike, Acting Manager of Apocalypse Video...signing off. Live Long and Prosper.