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Option 1: On Wednesday night, set aside an hour to prepare yourself mentally and logistically for what you want to accomplish personally in the week to come. Write down your goals, intentions, and objectives. Think of your week as a 2-day sprint, 2 days of rest and recovery, followed by a final 3-day effort.
Option 2: At the end of the day (or before you make dinner), set aside 5 minutes to do some yoga, go for a quick walk or just sit and do some breathing or journaling exercises. Review your goals, intentions and objectives. Think about why these are important to you and what it would feel like to stay in alignment with those goals.
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Distraction is when we allow an unplanned intrusion or diversion to pull us off focus or task. Redirection is when we consciously choose to redirect our attention.
Distraction (unintentional) can cause harm in two ways 1) keep us from doing what we need to be doing and 2) may cause us to engage in behaviors or activities that aren’t serving us.
Redirection (intentional) is 1) making a conscious decision that you would benefit from refocusing you attention on something else, and 2) choosing the alternative focus/activity thoughtfully
Intentionality is the key.
Next time you find yourself in the grips of an unhelpful thought or emotion (such as anxiety, worry, stage-fright) try the mental flashlight technique:
Step 1 - use your other senses (not your monkey mind) to identify (or shine your mental flashlight) on something you see, hear, smell, or generally are “aware of.”
Step 2 - Simply say the words (out loud or in your head) “I am aware of ____” without attachment or judgement. Just simply be aware.
Step 3 - Repeat: Become aware of something else around you (not inside you). Use as many different senses as you can to list all the things you are aware of.
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There’s an odd but very common phenomenon where we identify a change we’d like to make in our lives, we get excited about it (we may even take a step or two toward making it) but then, we abandon the effort before we’ve really even tried long enough to succeed (or fail!).
Workplace Hero podcast episode: Work Expands (or contracts) to the Time Allowed
Your brain is wired to seek familiarity, comfort, and efficiency. Change is by definition unfamiliar, uncomfortable, and inefficient.
Talking you out of change--by convincing you that change isn’t possible or that now is not a good time--is your lower brains’ attempt to keep you safe.
Often these thoughts are operating below the surface or your conscious awareness.
By tuning into these thoughts with your higher brain, you can decide whether or not they are actually serving you.
How are you talking yourself out of making a change? Identify the reason or excuse your brain has come up with and write it down as an "Unhelpful Thought."
Then use the following questions to assess the validity of this thought:
Now, see if you can rewrite your unhelpful thought in a more balanced, rational, and helpful way. With practice, this can become a very effective tool for thought management in all realms of life.
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All goals feel and are important, and doing them in a particular order doesn’t mean you don’t value or will forget about the other goals.
Focusing on one new behaviour at a time -- instead of trying to change everything at once -- can actually help you accomplish your goals more quickly.
Cultivating the ability to prioritize and focus can help us with other aspects of our lives
When choosing what to focus on, prioritize behaviours that you perceive to be impactful AND that you feel ready to tackle now.
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It's hard to keep believing that change is possible when all the evidence seems to point to the contrary. And that's why it's so important to collect some evidence that a different choice is possible.
Choose a behaviour or habit that you have struggled with but failed to change in the past. Those past failed attempts could be considered evidence that change is, in fact, not possible.
Collect at least one piece of counter-evidence. This can be either an example of someone in a similar situation or (ideally) one time in which you actually succeeded in changing your long-standing behaviour.
Think about how many pieces of counter-evidence you would need to collect in order to believe that you do, in fact, have the ability to change this pattern in a more lasting way.
Then, start collecting (and counting!) that evidence. You may even find that it doesn’t take as many pieces of evidence as you thought to begin believing something new about yourself.
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We humans like comfort. We believe that making ourselves comfortable is a good way to take care of ourselves and make ourselves feel content. But is this desire truly helpful or is it simply a way to keep ourselves stuck exactly where we are?
Most of us place a certain value on being comfortable. And sometimes, something that is comfortable is very pleasurable (like putting on a favourite comfy sweater or connecting with an old friend). But often, it’s simply familiar (like the way your family celebrates holidays).
By the same token, something that is uncomfortable at first, because it’s unfamiliar, may end up being very rewarding. But if we are unwilling to be uncomfortable, we’ll never find out.
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