Ep 64: My Feelings and Other People's Actions
b'
YOUR input is super valuable to me! Please respond to this 2-question survey (it literally takes less than a minute, and is HUGELY helpful). Thank you in advance!
\\nToday\'s episode was inspired by a message I received:
\\n"Things people say to you or about you can really hurt. People hurting the people you love most is even more painful. It is hard for me to understand that this can all be controlled by my thoughts. I know I get to decide how I feel, but don\\u2019t you think painful words and actions do affect us, no matter how positive we choose to be?"
\\nBig thank you to the person who asked this question, because I think this is a really common experience and a commonly misunderstood part of our life experience.
\\nTwo myths:
\\n1. Being "positive" is the goal
\\n2. Other people shouldn\'t do hurtful things
\\nWhen we believe that other people\'s actions or their words are harmful, we become victims. When we are victims, we allow our hurt or our pain to take root in us, and become a part of who we are. We then continue to re-experience the pain over and over again, well after the event.
\\nFive strategies to be the "BOSS" in this area:
\\n1. Let go of the "me" lens (Other people\'s actions are about THEM, even when they are directed at US.)
\\n2. Allow yourself to feel negative emotion as long as necessary and instructive, and then choose to move on and tell the story in a way that no longer hurts you.
\\n3. Remember agency, instead of resistance. Resisting things we have no control over might feel useful and necessary, but that\'s a lie. Accessing peace is where our power really lies.
\\n4. Notice if you are mirroring other people. (Are you angry about their anger?)
\\n5. Remember the serenity prayer: "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference."
\\nPracticing these five strategies gives us more compassion for ourselves and others, more love for those who are challenging to love, greater peace and greater connection to God, and more confidence in who we are and how we get to experience our lives.
\\n