New Research: The Surprising Psychology Behind the Secrets Everyone Keeps & What Your Secrets Say About You
b"In today\\u2019s episode, you and I are discussing the fascinating science of secrets: why you keep them and how keeping secrets directly impacts your relationships, your self-esteem, your health, and holds you back from living the life you deserve.\\n\\n\\n\\nDr. Michael Slepian is a bestselling author, psychologist, associate professor of leadership and ethics at Columbia Business School, and former scholar at Stanford. He has been researching secrets for over a decade and will help you understand what secrets are, why we keep them, and the harm of holding them inside.\\n\\n\\n\\nDr. Slepian's research is shocking: studies prove you are keeping 13 secrets right now. 5 of which you\\u2019ve never told a single person. Not your mom. Not your best friend. No one. Even more shocking is the impact they have on your life.\\n\\n\\n\\nMy mission today is to help you free yourself of the burden of secrets.\\n\\n\\n\\nListen and you\\u2019ll understand how the secrets we have shape our physical and psychological well-being, who we are, how we connect with others, and how we cope with our challenges.\\n\\n\\n\\nYou will also learn:\\n\\n\\n\\nThe most common secret that 61% of you are keeping right now.\\n\\nWhy you always feel shame, isolation, and uncertainty when you keep a secret.\\n\\nThe fundamental difference between secrecy and privacy, and why privacy is better for your health and relationships.\\n\\nWhy the shame of secrecy kills your self-esteem.\\n\\nHow to use guilt to get rid of shame (yup).\\n\\nHow babies learn to keep secrets from their parents and caregivers.\\n\\nThe one person you should REALLY tell your secret to.\\n\\n\\n\\nKeeping a secret is the easy part; the hard part is having to live with it.\\n\\n\\n\\nLet\\u2019s change that today.\\n\\n\\n\\nXo, Mel\\n\\nIn this episode:\\n\\n2:00: The jaw-dropping secret that inspired this conversation today.\\n\\n9:45: Curious about the kinds of secrets people keep? Here are the top 10.\\n\\n11:50: How exactly do we define a secret?\\n\\n14:45: Are there any good secrets?\\n\\n15:45: Don\\u2019t feel too bad; we\\u2019re not the only animals that keep secrets.\\n\\n18:00: Keeping the secret isn\\u2019t the hard part; the hardest part is this.\\n\\n21:00: Listen to the secrets my listeners revealed. Recognize yourself?\\n\\n24:45: Some secrets are no big deal but we make them big in our heads.\\n\\n28:00: So what\\u2019s the difference between privacy and a secret?\\n\\n31:00: Here\\u2019s how to frame a mistake, instead of feeling shame.\\n\\n33:30: Research finds keeping serious secrets as kids can impact us as adults.\\n\\n35:30: Here\\u2019s what parents should say when their kids admit a secret to them.\\n\\n38:00: What do you say when friends keep you out of the group?\\n\\n39:40: How do you tell your partner that you\\u2019re having an emotional affair?\\n\\n42:30: The family secrets parents should never reveal to their children.\\n\\n47:15: What about traumatic family secrets?\\n\\n50:00: Choose the person who is your \\u201ccoping compass\\u201d wisely.\\n\\n54:30: Questions you can ask anyone to develop a closer relationship.\\n\\n59:50: Here\\u2019s my hardest memory and what I realize about it now.\\n\\nWant more resources? Go to my podcast page at melrobbins.com.\\n\\nDisclaimer"