373: Drama Addiction with Dr. Scott Lyons
You see their name pop up on your phone, and you immediately notice yourself feeling stressed. It\u2019s that friend who always seems to be in crisis, who always calls to gossip or vent.
We all know that person\u2026many of us ARE that person.\xa0
It\u2019s called drama addiction, and there\u2019s a part in all of us that is drawn towards chaos and stress.
Sometimes this shows up in big, dramatic ways, and other times, it\u2019s subtler, like our need to always be busy, doom scroll through the news or argue with someone on social media.
My brilliant guest today, Dr. Scott Lyons, is a trauma expert who has studied what is really going on in the brain and body when we\u2019re addicted to drama. He breaks down what trauma does in our body, why addiction forms in response and what exactly is happening in our nervous system when we seek out stress, busyness and drama.\xa0
Dr. Lyons also helps us navigate situations where others are pulling us into their drama (including news and social media), explaining why we do this, how it affects our nervous systems and the boundaries we can put in place to protect ourselves.
This episode is full of major \u201caha\u201d moments that will help you better understand trauma and how stress affects you, whether you are addicted to drama or know someone who is.
Listen to discover:
- What exactly \u201cdrama\u201d is
- The connection between addiction and trauma
- Why drama addiction forms and its relationship with the nervous system
- How social media and 24-hour news has changed our brains and made us more prone to drama addiction
- How drama addiction affects those around us \u2014 and how others\u2019 drama affects our nervous system
- Steps you can take today to minimize addiction to drama
We all unconsciously do the things that make us feel safe, accepted, loved and alive. If we grew up in a chaotic or dysregulating environment, drama feels safe to us, and that\u2019s why we seek it out.\xa0
Understanding your nervous system and how your experiences have shaped it is so empowering and will greatly increase your compassion for yourself and others. This show is a must listen!\xa0
\u201cWe all know someone addicted to drama.\u201d - Dr. Scott Lyons\xa0
\u201cThe first part of a stress response is a release of endorphins, is a release of pain relief\u2026So, we become attached, dependent on wanting hits of things that give us essentially that constant stream of pain relief.\u201d - Dr. Scott Lyons
\u201cIn our nervous systems, our exaggerated responses are justified if we\u2019re addicted to drama.\u201d - Dr. Scott Lyons
\u201cSelf-regulation is the ability to know how much energy, attention and emotion to utilize in our system to properly adapt to a stimulus.\u201d - Dr. Scott Lyons
\u201cAn addiction to drama looks different on the outside than what it feels like on the inside.\u201d - Dr. Scott Lyons
\u201cI\u2019ve noticed with people in my life that are chronically busy, when there\u2019s a space of downtime, boom, it\u2019s filled right away.\u201d - Michelle Chalfant
\u201cThat tornado of chaos that we all know so well, that we\u2019ve either created ourselves or been pulled into, that is a sad cry for a sense of connection.\u201d - Dr. Scott Lyons
\u201cI would think as soon as the internet was created that [drama addiction] became a bigger addiction for most people.\u201d - Michelle Chalfant\xa0
\u201cThe ways in which media, and social media specifically, operate have replicated the conditions of an addiction to drama, but on an endemic scale.\u201d - Dr. Scott Lyons
\u201cWe live in a stress economy.\u201d - Dr. Scott Lyons
\u201cNegative information \u2014 fear, anger, sadness \u2014 will be more capturing of our attention than positive news\u2026We are more likely in watching the news to believe bad things will happen to us.\u201d - Dr. Scott Lyons
\u201cThe most contagious state is a stress state.\u201d - Dr. Scott Lyons
\u201cWe want the drama.\u201d - Michelle Chalfant
\u201cI did so much nervous system work with myself for so many years, and I\u2019m finally in this place of much more balance\u2026now I protect myself from drama.\u201d - Michelle Chalfant
\u201cThat is the curative to an addiction, and it is belonging. And when we belong to ourselves, we can start to lower the drawbridge and feel intimacy, the safety for intimacy and belonging to other people.\u201d - Dr. Scott Lyons
LINKS & RESOURCES\xa0
Dr. Scott Lyons Website
Dr. Scott Lyons Instagram
https://www.instagram.com/drscottlyons/
"The Gently Used Human" (Dr. Scott Lyons Podcast)
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-gently-used-human-with-dr-scott-lyons/id1685789759
"Addicted to Drama" (Dr. Scott Lyons Book)
https://www.amazon.com/Addicted-Drama-Healing-Dependency-Yourself/dp/0306925834
The Adult Chair\xae Private Facebook Group
https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/
MORE ADULT CHAIR
The Adult Chair\xae Website
https://theadultchair.com\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0
The Adult Chair Events
https://theadultchair.com/events/\xa0
The Adult Chair\xae Coaching Certification
https://theadultchair.com/certification\xa0 \xa0\xa0
STAY CONNECTED
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant\xa0
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/\xa0
The Adult Chair\xae Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/