Broadcasts.com - "304: Trauma Healing with Ilene Smith" (The Adult Chair)

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304: Trauma Healing with Ilene Smith

Published: March 3, 2022, 9 a.m.

When we think of trauma, many of us think of war, a car accident or a major, life-altering event. Though all of these events are certainly traumatic, they are only one type of trauma \u2013 what we often call \u201cbig T\u201d trauma.

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But there are many other forms of subtler trauma, including small events that happen over and over again (especially in childhood), that overwhelm our nervous systems and shape the way we move through the world. I would argue that most humans have had some sort of trauma in their lives, and you\u2019d be surprised by how many times I\u2019ve sat with clients who didn\u2019t even know they had trauma. Heck, it took me decades to realize I had trauma from childhood!\xa0

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I think this is partly because trauma is such a loaded word, so on today\u2019s show, I\u2019m talking with a trauma expert, Ilene Smith, about what trauma actually is, how to notice if we\u2019re living with trauma and how to heal it.

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Listen to discover:

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What trauma is\xa0

Clues that you might be living with trauma

How trauma affects attachment style as adults\xa0

What trauma bonding is

How to heal a dysregulated nervous system\xa0

Steps to heal trauma starting today\xa0

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Here\u2019s the thing about trauma: it has less to do with what actually happened (the event) and everything to do with how that event was interpreted and processed by our nervous system. Even small things can be overwhelming to the nervous system when they happen over time, when we\u2019re children (because we don\u2019t have any filters or discernment) and/or when we don\u2019t have a strong sense of safety and support to help us process the painful events of our lives. And once our nervous system has been \u201ctrained\u201d to react a certain way, it can get stuck there even once the trauma is over.

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Bringing a sense of safety back to the nervous system is key to building up resilience and allowing yourself to process the stuck fight, flight or freeze energy. This happens in the body, which means the ability to heal your nervous system is as close to you as you are to yourself. I hope this episode brings you some lightbulb moments on what might be happening in your body and how you can begin to connect and heal.

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\u201cPeople often think of trauma as an event, but it's really the energy that gets locked in the body around real or perceived threat." - Ilene Smith

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\u201cTrauma can be a series of lots of little things.\u201d - Ilene Smith

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\u201cThe way we\u2019re living could be the residuals of those childhood experiences.\u201d - Ilene Smith

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\u201cAs a kid growing up, we don\u2019t know, \u2018Oh wait, I\u2019m emotionally not safe.\u2019\u201d - Michelle Chalfant\xa0

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\u201cWhen there\u2019s childhood trauma, relationships are much harder when you enter adulthood.\u201d - Ilene Smith

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\u201cThere\u2019s usually something unhealed if we can\u2019t attach in healthy ways.\u201d - Ilene Smith

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\u201cWhen we get into reactivity, we don\u2019t get into our experience.\u201d - Ilene Smith