292: Boundary Help at the Holidays with Sharon Martin
Staying in our Adult Chair and setting boundaries can be especially difficult at the holidays. Pressure to attend events or spend money, uncomfortable conversations, holiday traditions and gatherings of family and friends that might not normally get together can create plenty of scenarios that test our boundaries (not to mention the\xa0 \u201cshoulds\u201d and guilt the holidays can bring!).
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It doesn\u2019t surprise me one bit when my inbox lights up with questions about boundaries this time of year.
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So, I enlisted the help of today\u2019s guest, psychotherapist and boundary expert Sharon Martin, to help me answer your questions about how to flex your boundary muscles this time of year \u2014 and anytime!
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We talk about how to navigate guilt and defensiveness when it comes to boundaries, helpful boundary statements and all kinds of practical tips and tools for setting boundaries at the holidays.
Listen to discover:
- What a boundary is
- Why boundaries can actually lead to better relationships
- Why we sometimes feel guilty when setting a boundary (and how to work through this)
- What to do when someone doesn\u2019t respond to your boundary
- How to lower the defenses of the person you\u2019re setting a boundary with
- Why boundaries are an important form of self-care
Boundaries are not something you have to master overnight. I didn\u2019t wake up one day suddenly good at setting boundaries either \u2013 but when you start slowly and build and build, you CAN learn this\u2026and everybody needs to learn it, because boundaries are part of our self-care!
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So, if you\u2019re feeling overwhelmed by holiday boundaries, pick one or two to start with \u2013 a \u201cno\u201d to a party, a political topic you don\u2019t want to discuss or a gift budget. You\u2019ll bring a little extra sanity to your holidays and give yourself great practice for year-round self-care.
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\u201cOne way we can think about [boundaries] is as a dividing line.\u201d - Sharon Martin
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\u201cYou can actually have better relationships when we are able to set boundaries.\u201d - Michelle Chalfant\xa0
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\u201cWe don\u2019t need to wait until the uncomfortableness is completely gone for us to set the boundary.\u201d - Sharon Martin
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\u201cBoundaries and confrontation are not the same thing.\u201d - Michelle Chalfant\xa0
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\u201cBoundaries are really based on needs.\u201d - Sharon Martin\xa0
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\u201cIt\u2019s always about staying connected to yourself so that you know when a boundary is necessary.\u201d - Michelle Chalfant\xa0
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\u201cDon\u2019t extend yourself to others so much that you\u2019ve lost sight of what you need on the inside.\u201d -\xa0 Michelle Chalfant
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LINKS & RESOURCES\xa0
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Sharon Martin Website
http://livewellwithsharonmartin.com/\xa0
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\u201cThe Better Boundaries Workbook\u201d (Sharon Martin Book)
https://betterboundariesworkbook.com/\xa0
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2022 Annual Adult Chair\xae Membership
2022 Theme: A Year of Conscious Living
\u200b\u200bhttps://courses.theadultchair.com/offers/U6FHGTjV/checkout\xa0
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Other Adult Chair\xae Podcasts on Boundaries
https://theadultchair.com/?s=boundaries&pageName=default\xa0
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P&G Hair Food
Or find on Amazon or Target.com
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MORE ADULT CHAIR
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The Adult Chair\xae Website
https://theadultchair.com\xa0\xa0
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The Adult Chair\xae Membership
https://theadultchair.com/membership/
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The Adult Chair\xae Workshop\xa0
https://theadultchair.com/events/
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The Adult Chair\xae Coaching Certification
https://theadultchair.com/certification
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TAC Circles\xae
https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/
STAY CONNECTED
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Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant
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Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfantCo/\xa0
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The Adult Chair\xae Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/