Troy McFadden
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Troy is a transformational coach who works with the tools and techniques of mindfulness to support others in achieving optimal growth. He works with The Asian Leadership Institute as a corporate coach and also operates his private practice, Wisdom Warrior Coaching.
Connect with Troy here: www.wisdomwarriorcoaching.com and asianleadership.com
Unknown Speaker 0:00
Your journey has been an interesting one up to hear you\'ve questioned so much more than those around you. You\'ve even questioned yourself as to how you could have grown into these thoughts. Am I crazy? When did I begin to think differently? Why do people in general appear so limited in this process? Rest assured, you are not alone. The world is slowly waking up to what you already know inside yet can\'t quite verbalize. Welcome to the spiritual dough podcast, the show that answers the questions you never even knew to ask, but knew the answers to questions about you, this world, the people in it? And most importantly, how do I proceed? Now moving forward? We don\'t have all the answers, but we sure do love living in the question. Time for another head of spiritual dub with your host, Brandon Handley. Let\'s get right into today\'s episode
Brandon Handley 0:40
one, hey, there\'s spiritual dope. I am on here today with Troy McFadden. Troy is a transformational coach who works with the tools and techniques of mindfulness to support others and achieving optimal growth. He works with the Asian Leadership Institute as a corporate coach, and also operates his private practice wisdom, where coaching Troy and I are on take to and and a little bit earlier, you know, we he and I met up I love these podcasts, kind of like dating matching sites. And so that\'s how we connected but we have some profile matches. And here we are today. And we\'re just having this conversation. Glad to have you on Troy.
Troy McFadden 1:18
Thank you so much for having me. Absolutely.
Brandon Handley 1:21
Absolutely. And, you know, the idea is, we\'re like, I\'m not sure how familiar are with the idea of the shamans hollow bone, right. But I feel like you know, we\'re, we\'re like these hollow bones where spirit energy just kind of fills us up. And we just act in accordance with universal source as it were right. And in that essence, like today, you\'re on here today delivering a message from Spirit to an end listener that can only get what Troy has to deliver in this moment. What is it that Troy has to deliver to that listener today?
Troy McFadden 1:56
Well, let\'s see what happens. Honestly, Brandon, I don\'t know. But I trust that we\'re going to co create moment to moment. And by the end, there\'ll be at least one prominent theme that will emerge.
Brandon Handley 2:10
Not fantastic, right? We\'ll just we\'ll just kind of let let source guide us as it were, less horse, guys. And so I think that it\'s great. I don\'t run into too many guys, right? Too many male, too many males in the spirituality space. And so I\'m curious kind of what your journey has been like to get into this space was the Moyer and really kind of embrace it. And then how are you leading from spiritual, your spiritual self? And what\'s that like for you?
Troy McFadden 2:42
I love that question. First off, I agree with you, there is not as many men that inhabit this space as there are women. And there\'s a sadness in me about that. And also, it requires, in part, accessing our femininity, regardless of our gender, because there\'s surrender and openness, trust, yielding, allowing, be holding questions that are necessary, as part of the spiritual journey, aren\'t that are necessary in order to be guided?
Brandon Handley 3:18
I like that. But I guess my first question would be, are those are those things that are mutually exclusive to women or femininity? Or are they just things that men haven\'t given themselves? The permission to access and we see it more in feminine, in the feminine,
Troy McFadden 3:37
perhaps both. And in fairness, spirituality in the spiritual journey requires the masculine as well, there needs to be a spark of what you know, what\'s traditionally masculine, right? Risk taking adventure, all of this, ultimately, it\'s a balance a union of the two, that is required. But in my own case, there\'s been a lot of surrendering, there\'s been a lot of taking off of armor. It\'s been painful. It\'s been vulnerable. It\'s been humbling. But ultimately, it connects me more with the earth with natural cycles and rhythms. And it does bring me into a sense of divinity as something that at least for me, is well both masculine and feminine. There\'s something kind of inherently female about it. And it\'s nurture and its protection and its power and its own unique power, this kind of thing.
Brandon Handley 4:31
Children toy, I do not, do not okay. You know, so my wife, I\'ve got a couple kids and there\'s definitely there\'s a power around a mother, right like that you just can\'t get you can\'t mimic it as a male. Right and you really can\'t you won\'t see it in too many other places. So when you say power, I just think I think my wife and you know, just the power of motherhood. And so when you\'re talking about the nurture and protection, that\'s definitely coming to mind. When you talk about, you know, surrender, where do you find that for yourself any and again, before we even go there, like I believe, like you, you found yourself like kind of drawn to spirituality like at a young age, if I recall, right, just from kind of reading a couple of your, your pieces online, and what\'s really made you lean into it, like what\'s drawn you to it, and what makes you stay there.
Troy McFadden 5:29
Ultimately, I think it is the bliss, in part, it\'s the bliss, it\'s the love, it\'s the feeling of connection that comes with certain states of consciousness. And then conversely, it\'s, as the Buddhists would say, it\'s the suffering in life, it just becomes more painful to stay in those states once you\'ve hung out, in, in, in other places. And so this to me is kind of like the the the safety valve or the trap door in nature to assure to assure any, any evolving being that they\'ll start and continue to move towards the light. The
Brandon Handley 6:08
the safety net, and so falling in like this bliss and love in a certain way that you find. And spirituality.
Troy McFadden 6:15
Yes, yes, that\'s absolutely. Okay.
Brandon Handley 6:18
And you\'re you\'re primarily focused in on mindfulness practice, right? Is that kind of what you\'re, you\'re best known for? Would you say?
Troy McFadden 6:29
I would say so. And in that heartfulness, is also included in the Asian traditions. What is generally translated as mind actually includes both mind and heart?
Brandon Handley 6:42
Yeah, yeah. No, I\'m glad you brought that up. And listen to one of your other episodes, he brought up that as well. If if you look at my logo, you\'ll see you know, there\'s nothing I forget which guy\'s got which is a Buddha Jesus and each one of them\'s got like a heart over their head and or their heart. And and if I saw that connection for quite some time, because I\'d heard about it being brought up. And you know, we don\'t have that traditionally, in the West. This this heart mind connection, nor do we have a word for it, in your experience, sounds like you\'ve connected those to yourself. What would you like in that connection to? How would you explain that to somebody that\'s unfamiliar at all with this space?
Troy McFadden 7:28
The connection between heart and head? Is that what the question is a Native American teacher of mine, has characterized the journey from the head to the heart as the longest one you\'ll ever take. Because in modern cultures, etc, we become disassociated with it, we sort of live in this upper top heavy space of the rational mind. Whereas when, in truth, the heart is the center of wisdom always has been seen as such and revered as such through through time. So it\'s a matter of sort of deconstructing the mind. And I think that can only happen are only motivated enough to start that process. Once we\'ve seen its limits. However, we tend to experience that the limits of the rational mind powerful as it is it has limits. And perhaps Then, and only then, are we willing to be brave enough to do what it takes to take that journey to reconnect with the center of our being the center of our wisdom, the heart.
Brandon Handley 8:43
Did you find that to be true for yourself? Would you find out the fact you ran up against a wall for yourself or limit the limitations?
Troy McFadden 8:53
Sure, because we can\'t figure out how to be completely How to be what we are in our entirety with our head. I\'m thinking of the old Einstein quote that we can\'t solve a problem with the same level of consciousness that created it you know, it ultimately involves feeling being sensing embodying incorporating and the mind just That\'s not his job that\'s not its primary job His job is to judge to assess to analyze etc wonderful to be honored a necessary part of being but only only one slice of the pie.
Brandon Handley 9:30
I mean, it\'s funny when you say slice of the pie I\'m also just thinking that\'s the mind job slice and dice analyze, apart, compartmentalize and like put things in certain places categorize it also that you know, it\'s easily accessible for us to be able to, to kind of react but typically when we react we react in like this fear base base. And I don\'t know I\'m not really also connected to my own heart to be frank right. So when when I\'m when you talk about kind of connecting the two are coming from this heart centered approach. Is it from more of a authentic and more vulnerable space seems let\'s talk a little bit about what that looks like.
Troy McFadden 10:12
Yes, it is more authentic, it\'s more authentic and that it\'s more complete. And it\'s more vulnerable. And again, it\'s, it\'s wiser. Because it\'s able to behold the paradoxes of life, you\'re able to feel the beauty and the joy and the love in the world more completely, and are thus more connected to the greater whole. But at the same time, you have to experience the the sadness, the angst, the wounding, the desperation that exists as well. It\'s, it\'s not a one way mirror, you know, you got to be hold it all. And that takes courage takes a certain kind of strength in order to inhabit that place. I don\'t know if I\'m answering your question or
Brandon Handley 11:00
not? Well, it\'s tough, right? It\'s really tough, right? I hear it, and I feel it, and I get it. But you know, I guess on the on the other end, I\'m thinking of the listener right on these sound great, how\'s it gonna benefit? You, you know, how\'s it benefiting you, how\'s it benefit the listener to get themselves into the space?
Troy McFadden 11:23
Well, it\'s the source of, of depth and joy. In life, our emotions add richness and fullness to life. And what is the case for most of us is that we only want to feel the, the pleasurable emotions and we don\'t want to feel the other emotions. And so we keep the door shut completely as a result, or at least partially, and we\'re trying to play the game of only letting some in and only letting or you know, and not allowing others, and it just doesn\'t ultimately work. So living in our heads, in other words, is very limited and limiting. Right. And it\'s kind of this, as you say, this compartmentalize kind of surface dwelling, middle of World way to engage and relate to life. But if you want to really experience life fully, you\'ve got to drop down, down and in, and behold, and be with and accept and allow, and ultimately be grateful for everything that you experience.
Brandon Handley 12:32
When I, I love it, right? When we talk about this dropping down in, and I\'m gonna scroll back up here, because we talked about the journey, the longest journey that you take is the one from your head to your heart. Right? And it sounds like this drop down in size and a lot accept and allow is a couple steps along the pathway. Would you would you say that\'s true? Yes. Would you be able to explain what that might look like for listener that bore myself that hasn\'t made that that journey?
Troy McFadden 13:08
Sure, I\'ll give it a shot. The first step is being with what is accepting that it is exists, that could be discomfort, that could be pleasure, it could be a mix of things, just being with it. Right? Not trying to deny it, not trying to push it away, not trying to automatically disconnect. And in, in that acceptance, there\'s there\'s somewhat of a pause, generally, things at least slow down, if not pause in order to allow for that, allow for the acknowledgement. And then in that pause, there\'s a spaciousness and we can work with that space, we can kind of expand into it a little bit more. So beyond just accepting that it is, you know, and and not immediately applying judgment to it. We can enter into it, right, we can allow, we can allow ourselves to feel it, and our bodies, whatever comes whatever the sensations are. And, and, you know, again, there\'s sort of a process that seems to unfold, it\'s not necessarily a methodical process, and more than one thing can happen at the same time. But ultimately, again, yes, we were present with what is we allow ourselves to experience it, we may even take a sense of curiosity and openness into it and that and that can come with appreciation or lead to appreciation, and ultimately, where this where this leads? Well, there are steps beyond this, but we can access an inherent gratitude that exists underneath all our judgments and all our labels and everything else, just an underlying, inherent gratitude for the experience of being alive. Everything, everything even that Especially that because it brings learning that brings us gifts.
Brandon Handley 15:07
When you talk about gratitude, how would you describe the feeling or the space or being grateful to somebody?
Troy McFadden 15:22
There is a deep appreciation and an awareness that there is a reason behind whatever is occurring, you may well not know why. But there\'s a sense of connection with something greater than ourselves. And a trust in that thing, whatever it is, as the source as source, as something that is providing you with exactly what you need to learn and grow in this moment. That\'s one way I might describe gratitude to someone.
Brandon Handley 16:00
But I\'ll take it only because that\'s exactly like not word for word. You know. So, you know, my gratitude practices, you know, write down or if I\'m in the car, like sometimes I don\'t have enough time to write down my gratitudes in the morning. I\'ll verbalize it, right. But I wanted to really sit this morning with what is gratitude and the way that you described it. Like I said, not word for word, but really close, right, this connection that we feel to source, right, and, and you can just feel it, and the appreciation and the awareness of that just in the moment, everything\'s kind of just the way it\'s supposed to be. Right? And it\'s pretty amazing. And it\'s awe inspiring, all those things. So thank you for that, you know, you\'ve described like I would have, but you never know how somebody is gonna describe it took me and I don\'t know how long it took you. How long do you feel like it took for you to understand what gratitude was and to feel that feeling and to be able to invoke it at will
Troy McFadden 17:04
decades, if not lifetimes?
Brandon Handley 17:07
decades, if not lifetimes. So I, I know that you, you\'ve got to, you\'ve got a singular practice, you\'ve got a group practice, you know, what makes you even want to be a coach, like you see all kinds of things you could be doing out there in the world. But what is it that draws you to this space,
Troy McFadden 17:27
a desire to serve in a very specific way, in a way that affirms the dignity, the sovereignty, the power in everyone else, and everything else. And as a vehicle that, that allows for that to be expressed and received within in a very direct way. I mean, in other words, I could sell coat hangers for a living, and still bring mindfulness and heartfulness and connection and all these elements that I bring as a coach. But in coaching, I\'m able to speak to it, and in direct ways, and in hear from people in direct ways. And ideally, at their best things get into a state of absorption, where things just arise between the coach and the coachee. And things are channeled in, you know, one gets into intuition or even in states beyond that. And some, you know, some magic occurs, which would probably be a less common experience if I was a coat hanger salesman.
Brandon Handley 18:32
Right, right. I mean, you could be I could just imagine that being kind of a fun show, though. Right? The the mystical coat hanger salesman kind of guy traveling around the world. So are you you\'re able to really kind of tap into your own spirituality, intuition, and share that with your clients, or most of your clients. Are they seeking spiritual guidance? And, and, you know, kind of talk to me a little bit about what that looks like, you know, what kind of kind of clients are calling me like you, Troy, I could use the spiritual help. And it sounds a little bit like what
Troy McFadden 19:10
this is my clients aren\'t coming for that reason. Some are and I take great delight in it. Most are coming for more worldly reasons, but when I am able to do is draw on my own sense of connection to spirit and soul, for that matter. So from this maybe broader, more expanded realm, which informs me so that I can, in a sense, bring the light in to people\'s more and I don\'t say this judgmentally but more mundane concerns, perhaps illuminate them to to shine the light on different aspects of this so called problem so that the the coachee can see it from different angles, and they can have their own experience of expanding around it and allowing for, you know, different perspectives. It\'s not up for me, you know, to me to be different Vader have that it is my job to inspire that. In others.
Brandon Handley 20:05
That\'s great. So I mean, think looking kind of for that light within them and help them tap in that for them.
Troy McFadden 20:13
Yes, absolutely. Absolutely.
Brandon Handley 20:15
Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I love I love that. I think that happened to me through my code being coached. And I was like, Oh, I got to do this, too. This is great. You know, this, this is, I mean, why wouldn\'t you want to make people you know, support and encourage them and show them just how great powerful, amazing that they are? Right? And, and you know, that I think that that\'s what\'s great about coaches, and you know what I\'m hearing you say that too. And then, you know, for me the idea of the word coach, right? Sounds like Cokes, right? coaxing the light on somebody else, right? Some coaxing the light out of them, or, you know, coaxing them to their own great anywho Anywho. So, let\'s, let\'s, let\'s keep it moving. Like, what? What would you say? You know, we talked a little bit about, I would actually, I\'d love to hear more about what you feel about. Male spirituality? We don\'t really have that conversation too often on the podcast, but from your space, and where you\'re at? How would you? How would you classify that? What, How\'s it different? And, you know, how do we really inch in? How do we grasp onto our male hood, right?
Troy McFadden 21:30
It may actually be more helpful to think of it as how do we let go into our male hood, because we live in a very hyper masculine culture, the whole culture is like that not is more or less, right could be characterized as that not just men. So there\'s this sense of always had to prove ourselves, and as I said earlier, to be armored to be tough, to be strong to be aggressive, or at the very least assertive, and, and competitive, and all these elements that are typically associated with masculinity. And thus, it\'s very difficult for men having the unique relationship to ego, that that men tend to have to, to let go. And to drop that, or at least be willing to be brave enough, and a new way to explore a different way of being. So for me, it comes with being warm and engaging, and connecting and helping to appease anyone\'s anxieties or concerns when I\'m around. And, you know, at the very least, let them know they\'re safe from me, hopefully, that they\'re safe with me, and that they\'re appreciated and respected. And all of this stuff usually happens in very, very subtle ways. But there\'s an art to it. And to me, it\'s the it\'s the art of fully embodying fully embodying rather, our, our masculinity, our whole rather than just this part as sort of protector and provider and everything else, there\'s also this power and warmth, that that can be part of that, and an inclusion and all of these other elements that are sometimes thought of as as feminine. So yeah, when you really get into this stuff, and you go deep enough, there\'s, there\'s a place of balance, it\'s not androgyny, it\'s something that includes the whole and includes both aspects more fully and completely, so that one can inhabit it. So I present is very male, you know, I\'m like six, three and 220 pounds, and, you know, whatever, but I\'m very soft hearted. And so, you know, it\'s always an art of how, how do I work with this vehicle that I have, in a way that best serves the moment, sometimes I\'m going to be more overtly masculine. Other times, I\'m going to be more more nurturing and caring and overtly feminine. But that\'s, that\'s part of the journey is becoming more fully human, so that we can inhabit a broader realms and be of service with it. Not just self serving, which a lot of men tend to fall into, for whatever reasons.
Brandon Handley 24:09
Sure, sure, not I love it. The, the whole idea of you know, this being armored and having to be tough, aggressive and assertive, you know, not for nothing. Maybe it\'s because I\'m not six, three, but that\'s, but that\'s never really been my own. And I was also raised by, you know, my mother and you know, had more of a feminine, more, more of a feminine, you know, influence than than male. So, it\'s really interesting, because you might feel like you\'re doing doing it wrong as a male if you\'re not trying to be aggressive and assertive, right? And you\'re like, Well, you know what I mean? So, what, when we talk to somebody, and they\'re telling you Well, I\'m just not, I think I should be more aggressive. I need to be more assertive. Do What is your response to that to some other male
Troy McFadden 25:05
and so on the person and it depends on the moment. Some other males do need to work on that, and allow that to come through as part of that balance nuanced, you know, breadth and depth that they draw from. I will I will share with you and the listeners now to that one of the challenges that men can face in our culture or cultures like it, I think America is one of the most extreme of not extreme examples of hyper masculinity is that what arises in other males in particular is sort of a case, there\'s sort of a dominant submission dance, am I going to be the dominant one? Or, or am I going to be the submissive one, and most people want to be the dominant one. So it\'s a matter of like stewarding one\'s ego, like, I\'ll be submissive if you need to be the dominant one. Because on a deeper level, I know that we\'re connected, and I know we\'re okay. And I know where you\'re at. And I know where I\'m at. And also, as a as a very common thing that arises is some kind of homophobia to some degree, like, in other words, if you\'re soft and warm, and caring, and kind, and you take that extra moment to connect, you know, within, you know, some women have this as well, it\'s like then, and with that, then, of course, inherently is fear. Oh, oh, okay. You know, and all these stories come up about it. I don\'t identify that way. But I\'ve certainly felt the the phobia and the and the resentment and the resistance and the judgment, that I think a lot of people that identify as homosexual or something related to that experience. But that\'s just part of the, the price you pay as it were, to bring your own light, and your own progressive balanced healthy, masculine energy into the world, it will encounter resistance, you\'re going to encounter resistance anyway, as a male. So you might as well be working on something, you know, grander.
Brandon Handley 27:06
I love, I love the idea that that you brought up to about like, this need to, for many males to be the in the dominant role. And, and to do that dance, whereas you know, if you can just understand, you know, spend my experience, right, where if you\'re dealing with somebody who really feels like they need to be the dominant one, you\'re like, Alright, cool, man. You\'re it. Let\'s just move forward. Like, let\'s just what are we what are we trying to do here, right, we go back to the beginning of our conversation, we talked about CO creating, we could spend a lot more time co creating and putting things together together, if we just support each other, and if you got to be if you got to be the dominant one, so that we can get shit done. Let\'s do it. Like I don\'t that\'s cool. Cool with me. Cool with me. One of the things that I would say that I\'ve witnessed so and again, just very curious about your experience, is there can be like an over rotation from any type of like, you know, being I guess, hyper male, into like, hyper feminine as a male and trying to strike that balance. How do you help? How do you help others do that?
Troy McFadden 28:14
I\'m glad you brought that point up, because it is another parallel of the path as it were. So when you first start experimenting with, you know, moving beyond what you might feel attached to stuck in what you\'ve previously identified with, perhaps exclusively, you\'re going to err on the side of, you know, you know, either shifting back into that hyper masculine role, or, you know, in your experimentation, perhaps you resist to try something else out to kind of go into this overly feminine role. And then that comes with its own issues, you know, women tend to want us to inhabit certain elements of masculinity for the sake of all just as the world wants and needs women to inhabit certain aspects that, you know, that they tend to bring into the world. And I don\'t want to, you know, be exclusive here and I\'m including, there\'s a spectrum of course, but just for ease of
Brandon Handley 29:05
working in generalities here at a Troy It\'s okay. Sorry, we\'re not singling anybody out.
Troy McFadden 29:12
Right. Exactly. And we\'re including everyone,
Brandon Handley 29:14
everybody\'s included. That\'s right. That\'s right. And I love that you brought that up too Right? Because going back to just western male dominant male and coming from male and female right this idea of competition the females still have a concept of what a proper male should be right and again, you\'re not kind of acting in accordance to that there could be this kind of like this off putting presence that you bring where to where you said earlier what I really liked it that you want that you want somebody anybody to to feel safe around you right or at least you know, safe from and or with you. Right And and I think that there can be some times that if you don\'t bring like this, this extra mail with you like extra than theirs, they get like a quizzical look.
Troy McFadden 30:09
Yes, yes, that\'s right. And you know, women have absorbed a lot of the the lies and the myths etc, in our society just as men have about what men are supposed to be. And while they tend to broad strokes here where they tend to be much more open and accepting and allowing, there is this, you know, belief that you are a man and thus you are like this and you\'re expected to behave in certain ways. And if you\'re not behaving like like that, you\'re doing something a typical, even if it\'s not overtly aggressive or threatening or something, it\'s it is it\'s, it\'s, it\'s, it\'s a it inspires a quizzical look, and it kind of an internal, you know, a lack of cognitive dissonance, I guess, and of women. And again, it\'s all part of like this art of life, you know, how can I show up completely and fully and, and then respond to the moment with whatever it needs, however, I best can. It takes work. And I think that\'s one of the reasons men are where they\'re at. Because depending on where you\'re at, in the hierarchy, if we look at things like that, especially if you\'re, you know, a white male, affluent, whatever, you\'re kind of at the top of the pyramid on one level. And so you can just unconsciously bulldoze your way through. But any everyone else, you know, anyone else who\'s not in that category doesn\'t have that luxury. But if you are that, and then and then you\'re you\'re you\'re saying, Look, we\'re all on this pyramid together, we\'re all part of it. And there is no hierarchy. Well, people aren\'t used to that. They don\'t necessarily know what to do with it. Men, women and other. Yeah,
Brandon Handley 31:47
you\'re right, right. I happen to spend a fair amount of time with, you know, the white affluent male, and there\'s this tendency to, um, just kind of say, be obtuse, right, and just kind of, really, I don\'t know if gross negligence is the word, but it\'s close enough that I like,
Troy McFadden 32:09
the term in this context, right, just
Brandon Handley 32:11
kind of a sense of self. And it\'s very interesting. But I get what you\'re, I get where you\'re at. And I appreciate this conversation. Because again, we don\'t we don\'t get to have that. I don\'t think I don\'t think males are having this conversation too often. And if they\'re having this conversation is generally not and some type of public forum that\'s easily accessible for other guys come out and be like, wow, you know, I\'d like to, I don\'t know, find my artwork, right, like the tin man. Right? Yes. So how are we able, you know, to open ourselves up, open our hearts up and live in a heart centered way in today\'s world?
Troy McFadden 32:57
What a question. First off, I just want to acknowledge what you were saying, you know, a man could, in the safety of his own home, or, you know, privately listen to something like this. And that\'s part of perhaps the service that we\'re, we\'re offering today. And CO creating is that, hey, we\'re relating like this. So maybe you can relate like this, at least sometimes with some people. It, it takes again, I\'ve said this before, but it takes a certain kind of courage, a certain kind of bravery and a certain kind of strength to be willing to live in the heart and from the heart. And women in general tend to be better at it. So one thing we can do, as we start down the path or we you know, expand on these aspects of ourselves is to look to the women in our lives as examples. And perhaps as a source of guidance. Women are generally only to a too happy to help men get more in touch with their hearts. And, and it can involve really simple things, it might actually involve physically touching your heart at times, as you\'re expressing yourself, or as you\'re receiving something. I\'ve lived in Bali quite a bit of my life, and they have a they have a habit as they greet each other to touch their heart briefly as a way to stimulate it and connect. I mean, it\'s a beautiful ritual, very out of place in many cultures, but it\'s something that that has stuck with me. And I\'m sure it comes across as odd on occasion, but it it at least it\'s not intimidating. And it might even inspire curiosity and it gets me in touch with my heart and I can actually feel my heart energy in my hand. And it\'s just a way to make sure that I\'m relating on that level. So a bit of an odd habit, perhaps but something simple like that, to remind us to come from here, rather than appear
Brandon Handley 35:02
has definitely sounds great. I, if I\'m, you know, sounds a little bit like, I\'m sure you know, at the Heart Math Institute, right? I think that they talk a little bit about doing something similar, you can do that just to get that connection. But that sounds great. So just kind of pause yourself. And just remind yourself by touching your heart that you\'re coming from the heart, right? And so you\'re feeling that sensation, and just reminding yourself that that\'s where you\'re trying to come from. Right. So I love that guidance, you have any other type of guidance? Well, you know, I\'m gonna wind it back a second to because you said, I\'m a big fan of the word courage. Are you a fan of David Hawkins, you\'re familiar with the the consciousness map, map of consciousness with David Hawkins?
Troy McFadden 35:46
The name is familiar. I\'m not familiar with the map.
Brandon Handley 35:50
All right, well, I mean, so the gist of it is, so in the map, you know, you start in like, the lower rungs of consciousness was just gonna be fear and shame and grief, and like all these other pieces, and they\'re, they\'re logarithmic scales, and goes all the way up to, you know, 1000 1000s, basically, Christ consciousness, right? With love being 700. But at 200 is his courage and his, the courage is that tilting point, where you come out of you come out of being afraid, you come out of your place of fear, or you step into a dream, or you step into something for the first time for yourself that you\'re living into it. And it\'s courage is that tipping point. So that\'s why I bring it up. I was curious if you were familiar, would you say it\'s, would you say that that\'s true, from your experience, that courage is the tipping point into, I don\'t know, leaning towards bliss, or following your bliss or opening your heart even. I would have to reflect
Troy McFadden 36:48
on that for a while to say if it\'s the tipping point or not, but it\'s certainly an important necessary aspect of the journey. And it\'s indicative of an opening up a willingness to try something else. So in that sense, it may well be. And, you know, men tend to talk about and like this, you know, this sense of risk taking and adventure and all of this kind of thing. So the notation that I\'m going to extend now is like, Okay, well, how about risking being vulnerable? How about risking opening your heart? How about risking the expression of your genuine, deepest feelings. And in that way, it might inspire that that male part of us that you know, wants to take risks or whatever and apply it in, in a new context? How willing are you to drop the need to feel power in order to experience perhaps even greater power, or a different kind of strength, as I referred to it earlier than you\'ve ever known.
Brandon Handley 37:55
And it is true. When you talk about vulnerability, though, you know, for a while, thanks, Brene, brown, you know, vulnerability was, you know, the, this kind of this catch all, and a lot of people were trying to leverage it, at least in the social media space, as this kind of like, showcasing their vulnerability, which to me is, you know, now you\'re just putting on a show and staging something. And then there\'s also like this other I think I think she actually talks about in her book is like, you\'re not just like verbal diarrhea on top of somebody, how would you have put vulnerability in the con? What would an example be for somebody just kind of know what volubility might look like or feel like
Troy McFadden 38:41
some of the outer edges of working with it to start with it might involve simply not needing to be right. Perhaps expressing a perspective or opinion as just that, rather than, you know, my way or the highway are this kind of like demanding way that sort of, you\'re pushing things through in that there\'s a certain amount of vulnerability and that you\'re open to being wrong, you\'re open to some other way being the best way forward. So that\'s, you know, one entry point, one way to start. It\'s an extreme expression of vulnerability to to just, you know, it\'s an erotic to just rip yourself open and, you know, go until all the imbalances or whatever, there\'s discernment needs to be applied to it. And there is a time and a place to be self protective and to protect others. But walking through life as a warrior involves being open and trusting that you\'ll respond as need be in the moment, knowing that you have resources to draw from on a spiritual level. It\'s quite different than being a soldier who is armored, who is into an us versus them mentality who travels heavy who looks at the world with fear as Place to to be braced against a warrior can walk with true strength, proudly, openly with focus and with a gentleness.
Brandon Handley 40:10
I really like that a discernment distinction between the two. So thanks for thanks for sharing that the difference between a lawyer and a soldier, right? Never heard kind of described that way before. And I appreciate it. For sure. So, I\'m definitely like to get to this one part as I always kind of think of, of what we do here also as spiritual speed dating Troy, right, somebody is tuning in for like, maybe a half hour an hour, and they\'re just looking for their next spiritual date. And I don\'t know about you, but like, look, I definitely go through I cycle through different people. And it tends to be like a 90 day, 90 days, give or take, right where I\'m like, Okay, I need something, I need something new. And there\'s so much content available. Right. So Troy, bachelor, spiritual bachelor number one question for you would be, what are we also afraid of
Troy McFadden 41:10
fear itself on the unknown, our true natures. The power and connection that comes with that, and the horror at realizing that we have chosen to be separate for as long as we have.
Brandon Handley 41:30
Wow. It\'s really amazing when you reconnect with yourself, right? And to your point, the horror of realizing how long you have let that go. How to you know, it\'s real similar to get into the heart. What is like something that you, you know, alright, like, I still recall, when I kind of fell into this space myself, and I was at a dad\'s convention and talking to other dads, and I was like, wow, you know, how are you stepping into your greatness? How you, you know, how are you expressing that? They\'re like, Whoa, did a real push back there, right? Like, oh, whoa, whoa, I\'m not great, right? Like, Well, I\'m not talking about like, you know, go out and fly around, or do all these other things. Like, you just like, have this inherent internal greatness, it just feels amazing. You just have access to it whenever you want, you can apply it and so many awesome places. They don\'t even want it. Right. So how do you know how to help guide somebody into that space? Or how do you help them just kind of become aware of that without saying, hey, you know, I\'m gonna tap into your greatness today. Troy here, tapping into your greatness. Right. So how does that happen? What do you what do you like to do with that space?
Troy McFadden 42:55
question I asked that\'s very closely related to this. Because for most people, and for most men, when they get into a sense of like, owning their greatness, it comes in in an egoic way. And it\'s puffed up, and it\'s artificial. And the flip side of that is self doubt. So one, one question that I find myself asking is, imagine what you have to deny. In order to believe you\'re not worthy. Imagine, imagine the spirit, the power of the universe that you are, imagine how much you have to turn away from how much just connection is involved. To explore the idea to behold the idea to be attached to the idea the belief that you\'re not worthy, and to therefore have to compensate for it in all kinds of unhealthy ways. That\'s that\'s,
Brandon Handley 44:03
that\'s powerful, right? I mean, I\'m over here with some kind of Goosebumps. I\'m like, even trying to put myself in that separation of sentence base. It\'s like it feels helpless, right to even try and put yourself into that space. You know, why wouldn\'t again, why would I want to try and access that I\'m, I\'m one of the right like I you know, don\'t try and take something away. That\'s innate. I mean, that\'s basically what you\'re doing. I don\'t know if you\'re watching or if you\'ve ever read the series. That\'s, we\'ll time that\'s on right now on Amazon. Did you ever read that? Did you read the series?
Troy McFadden 44:38
I didn\'t read the series, but I\'ve watched the first couple of episodes.
Brandon Handley 44:42
Okay, well, I\'m in one of the episodes I don\'t think they talked about it just yet the day stilled. They what\'s called stilling, STI ll ing the mail wizard. And what that does is it cuts that person All from source that they\'ve finally, you know, they. And it\'s really talks about what you just said here, right? Like, if you cut yourself off, if you\'ve taught source and if you\'ve been a part of it, and you\'ve recognized this within, there\'s really, it doesn\'t go anywhere else, it\'s always there. And to cut that off and never be able to access that again. You\'ll have a deep look into it in the series, but that\'s enough to make you mad. Right?
Troy McFadden 45:28
Yes, among other things, there\'s an enormous ignorance associated with it. And we have to own that and then the sadness of, of our predicament, as it were. And again, it comes with some very real vulnerability. And, and yet, in doing that work can be holding it. You can open into
Brandon Handley 45:53
unimagined realms. There\'s two storage just I love it. One last one for you. Bachelor spiritual bachelor number one. Um, what is your one wish for the world Troy?
Troy McFadden 46:07
We wake up, and that humans in particular inhabit, what is their potential destiny, if not the destiny that they\'re meant for, which is to be noble stewards of the entire planet? Living things, nonliving things seemingly nonliving things, all of it. That\'s my deepest, most heartfelt wish for the world. That\'s beautiful. Troy.
Brandon Handley 46:38
Do you see us headed in that direction? Do you feel like we\'re making a change? In our time right now? Are you seeing it happen before your eyes?
Troy McFadden 46:48
I don\'t know. I am open to the possible reality that it is happening. Because whether we change or don\'t, we we\'re going to enter into this bottleneck period. It\'s either going to close off and that\'s the end of the chapter. Or we\'re going to come out of it, we\'re going to emerge from it having been seasoned, forged, wiser, and just better.
Brandon Handley 47:19
All I can think of as a cast iron skillets Troy, so we\'re going to come out at least at least seasons and wiser. Troy, thank you so much for being on today who like Who\'s your ideal customer who should be reaching out to you.
Troy McFadden 47:35
Someone who is open to their own development, their own growth and development. Whether they see that in a spiritual light or not, is less important than a genuine desire to change, to expand to grow, but ultimately, just to become more of what they already are.
Brandon Handley 47:54
I said Where Where should we send them to find you?
Troy McFadden 48:01
You can find me at www dot Wisdom Warrior coaching.com That\'s probably the best place to contact me.
Brandon Handley 48:09
For I want to say thanks for stopping on today. Thanks for we worked we worked through our technical difficulties and and we found our footing and we made it all the way to the end. Thank you so much for joining today.
Troy McFadden 48:18
Thank you very much, Brandon.
Unknown Speaker 48:21
Really hope you enjoyed this episode of the spiritual dove podcast. Stay connected with us directly through spiritual dove co you can also join the discussion on Facebook, spiritual dough and Instagram and spiritual underscore dough. If you would like to speak with us, send us an email through Brandon at spiritual dove.co And as always, thank you for cultivating your mindset and creating a better reality. This includes the most thought provoking part of your day. Don\'t forget to like and subscribe to stay fully up to date. Until next time, be kind to yourself and trust your intuition