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Brandon Handley 0:01
What is up? What is up? Bring the energy they say, Well, I\'m coming out of BJJ BJJ report, be curious to see how this audio comes out. At any rate, any rate was really upset that I did a really nice one. I felt like it was a nice one anyways, sometime last week. And, man, the audio just didn\'t come out well. And I wasn\'t going to treat you to that again. I know I\'ve done it a couple times. And honestly, I just, I don\'t enjoy that quality. And I don\'t expect you to either. So what are we what are we focusing on today? What are some things we can focus on today? We can focus on I think just dealing with our shit. I think we\'ve all you know, look, we\'ve all got some demons that we mess with. The quote is the line is always treat everybody with kind of respect and kindness, you really never never know what somebody else has gone. Dealing with. Right? Everybody\'s dealing with some shit. I know that I\'m dealing with, uh, you know, what, right now, to me looks like a poor purchase. Right? What right now it looks to me like a bad idea. But then, you know, I had a conversation with some gentlemen this weekend. And I certainly encourage you all to, you know, especially guys, man get get get around a circle of dudes that you know will be honest with you, and that you feel safe and just talking to because a lot of times, the biggest problem with what we\'re facing comes from holding it all in. Right and not being your best friend, and not talking to you and talking to yourself. Like you\'re a jerk. Right? And. And that\'s not gonna, that\'s not serving anybody. Right. And I think that that\'s me, you know, that\'s playing small, and it doesn\'t mean that you won\'t do it. And again, I\'m not, I\'m here to tell you that, I do it. I\'m not telling you that I\'m perfect. I\'m here to tell you that I have these experiences. And I think that we all have these experiences, I know that we all have these experiences. And most of us are trying to play life like super safe, so we can make it to the end. And you know, I wasn\'t feeling that in the moment. And so I did something that was abrupt, and I gave in to desire. And I gave him the haste. And and for that, you know, the lesson learned is like, well, maybe don\'t do that again. And the lesson learned is, is just because the other thing is I have no idea what the end outcomes going to be. Right? I have no idea what the end outcome is going to be, could be the best thing that ever happened. Could be that through this series of what looks like mistakes, I ended up in the perfect spot with exactly what I wanted. And without having done that, you know, something else happens. So treat yourself like your friend, right, realize and try and try and zoom out on the problem. I love the picture that I think it was magma white shirt actually was a picture of the planet from outer space, and it was like, here\'s, you know, here\'s what the planet looks like before your problems pop up. And then here\'s what the planet looks like after your problems pop up. And it\'s like the exact same picture. And that was the other thing that I had to realize is like, nothing about my health, my wealth, my family, anything really was was changed, like in substantial ways. It was just this thing that I\'d done, that I wasn\'t proud of. Right? And the thing that like, well, if other people see it, they\'re gonna give me shit. Like, why did you do that? Like, you know what, you got to let go of that too. That\'s a if we all recall Pulp Fiction, that\'s your prize thing and you\'re like, Okay, you know, fuck it, you did it. And then you kind of move on. And sometimes again, that\'s harder to do because we\'re not so kind to ourselves. So,

you know, be kind to yourself. Zoom out. Look at this thing like a larger perspective, the class that I took with Sreekumar Rao, creative personal mastery this past year was something that taught me to do that. It\'s not that I didn\'t already do, but it just reinforced it, and he does it in a different way to take a look at your problems become bigger than your problems and realize that most of the times, most of the problems and challenges that you\'re facing you are the one that makes them bigger. You\'re the one that makes them greater than they need to be. And nobody else gives a fuck, right? Most of the times, most of the times somebody else is gonna look at you and be like, they might say, Well, would you do that for him? Like, I don\'t know, like, all right, well, fuck it, let\'s get a beer. Right? And that\'s, like, that\'s as deep as somebody else might think on it. This thing that\'s been eating you and eating you and eating you and, and you\'re given so many fucks about it, even though you don\'t give a fuck, but you\'re given Fox. Like it\'s all day long given Fox, about the one thing that maybe you did wrong. In your own eyes, right? Your own judgment, you\'re judging, it\'s this thing for yourself? And then what about all the things that you\'ve done? Right, right, like how often? How often do you praise yourself? Right? I know, you\'re supposed to be on board. And I was just doing my job, ma\'am. But how often do you like, you know what I fucking showed up today? I gave it everything I had. I feel like I made a difference. Right? I showed up today. My intentions match my values. I feel like I was living my purpose. In one way or another, even if, in that scenario, even if you need to make the adjustments mentally for yourself, right? How were you in alignment? If you didn\'t see it immediately, can you go back through the day? You know what? And look at it and do some reflection. Do some reflection, take a moment and give yourself praise? Because that one thing that you\'re fucking beating yourself up over? is exactly that. It\'s like one of probably two to 3000 things you did right? In the day, in the moment in your entire life, right? You\'re not going to be chalked up or remembered by that that one thing. And even if like I said, you know, we were trying to play it so fucking safe in life. That I don\'t personally think that that\'s the point, right? We play it so safe in life that we stay in our comfort zone our entire life. We\'re fucking miserable there. We hate it. We\'re not happy at all. But we stay there. Because we know what to expect. In this in this comfort zone. We know what to expect. My example would be you know, I\'m in jujitsu this morning. And somebody got me mount and I\'m pretty sure that they\'re not going to do any finishes. I you know, I stay comfortable. I stay there for a moment. I feel safe. I may not be in the best position, but I feel safe. My ribs are being sat on my body is being squashed on somebody grunting in my ear. I\'m like, I feel safe. Okay, here. Until until you decide that it\'s too much, right? You\'re not going to make a move. Until you feel like you\'re at risk. And heaven forbid you initiate that risk. Why would you initiate risk in your life? Oh my goodness, you\'re comfortable being uncomfortable. And staying where you are right now. And that\'s to me. Again, no way to live there\'s gonna be a point where you know you\'ve got something\'s got to break. Something\'s got to give. Something needs to change for you to achieve. Achieve, to find

find what it is you\'re looking for in life anyways, where do we start off with the same start off the same as like, hey, you know, people are going through some shit. Everybody\'s going through some shit, cheat everybody with some compassion. Find yourself a group of people that you can bounce off of that you can share with that you can You can release some of what\'s kind of on on your mind. And oftentimes, that\'s enough to give yourself that escape from the thing that you\'ve been beating yourself up over, be kind to yourself for certain. And, uh, I don\'t know, I think that should do it. You know, look, life is safe if you want to be safe. I mean, I don\'t think that that\'s the point of the whole thing. Sure, there\'s calculated risk, you shouldn\'t do anything super stupid. Like, you know, trying to fly off the thing, without any practice. Saved without any practice, because I\'m thinking about those guys that die from planes and just those bodysuits, right? Look, life is about something greater than just, just safety. Just making it by just existing. Do something for yourself that that makes you feel alive. Don\'t think that cutting or anything like that fits the bill, do something. But do something outside that gets you into a place that, you know, you\'re going to learn from it right, right or wrong, you\'re gonna learn from that thing that you\'ve done that you\'ve never done before. Just to see kind of how it all turns out. Anyways, again, that\'s that\'s kind of, that\'s my spiritual dove. That\'s how I kind of roll through these moments in life. And I also want to share with you look, I mean, I\'m not I\'m not, I\'m not saying I\'m perfect. I\'m saying I use these exact same tools that I\'m sharing with you to get through moments like this, where I\'m feeling small, where I\'m eating myself alive. And I realize, you know, I\'ve become aware of what\'s happening within and how I\'m seeing things on the outside. And changing that perspective through through those different ways have been beneficial to me. And quite honestly, I had somebody told me the other day that they\'re going to find the things that work for them. I\'m going to I\'m just going to be straight here and say these are things that have worked for everybody. For people over 1000s of years that have been shared through these long term practices. Chances are, they are going to work for you so long as you actually apply them

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