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Published: Nov. 15, 2020, 9:44 a.m.

Longtime listener first time caller... that was me reaching out to Shelley... after years of running with some of the same crews, we finally connected on a podcast!

Shelley is full of great energy and wisdom... listen in you will not be disappointed!

With 27 years’ experience in the accounting industry from bookkeeping through purchasing to software integration and setup, Shelley’s Genesys Financial clients have included those of Graphic Arts, Manufacturing, IT, Automotive and the garment industries. 

Her focus later went to implementing and managing larger scale billing platforms and Project Management.  Her focus was on helping Entrepreneurs setup their Financial platforms and Business processes.  A financial professional with a marketing background Shelley is uniquely qualified and can see all sides of business from sales and marketing to purchasing to invoicing, always allowing her to think outside the box.   

In line with her varied interests her latest business, Living Well, has taken a passion for health and wellness to business by facilitating lifestyle changes for busy executives. As the health supplement portion of her business has gone International her love of traveling was often met through her business.    

https://livingwellwithshell.com/

Audio production done by Zane Niezgodzki

Insights & Takeaways:

• Shelley talks about how she woke up with negative thoughts whirling thoughts “swirling the drain.” She knew this was not how she wanted to start the day, so Shelley says she went into her mind and “quieted my head and started going through what I wanted to see my day look like, how I wanted to give gratitude.” Shortly thereafter the whole feeling of hopelessness and negativity was gone.
• 4:40 Brandon mentions “manifestation just means that it showed up because they put their thoughts, intention and will behind it in some way, shape or manner.”
• 5:53 Shelley states “We’re just energetic beings having a physical experience, and power goes where we focus our energy. So, focus it somewhere positive that benefits you. Create some more high functioning you.”
• 12:08 Shelley states emphatically “... recognize that we have emotional responses to those thought processes, and to the trauma that occurred to us or whatever as children… As adults, I truly believe and I’ve walked this journey for 20 years, we are responsible for healing it.”  {TK: WOW!!!}
• Prayer can be meditation, meditation can just be going over what you’re grateful for (Gratitude Practice). Make this a habit. 

Spiritual Dope Eureka Moments!

• 8:15 “So what I found in my early adulthood was I was always breaking out, but not in a positive way. Because I kept myself so contained all the time, that when I burst out, I usually got myself into trouble. And I needed to learn for myself how to live a more genuine, and aligned life...” [TK: YES! This is so relatable!]
• 10:38 (This hit REALLY close to home.) Shelley talks about realizing as a parent, reflecting on her own parents’ parenting, that they “did the best with what they were given... and came with all their own baggage and all their own hurts and things.” [TK: Indeed. It took me until my mid-forties to stop judging my own upbringing by the light of perfection. My parents did the best with what they had. They weren’t intentionally “bad” or hurtful, they were doing what they felt was right. Different generations, different traumas and lifetimes, etc.]
•  20:30 Shelley mentions Dr. Joe Dispenza’s teachings where he says the best way to create your future is to imagine it. But you have to live and imagine it already happening. [TK: This brings me back to Brandon’s coaching work with me, and the exercises where I would envision with all senses being in the ideal future!]
• It’s all in your mind! (TK: IT IS!)
• Quit apologizing to the world around you
• https://livingwellwithshell.com/

Transcription by otter.ai

Unknown Speaker 0:02
You're listening to the spiritual dope podcast with your host, Brandon Handley. The spiritual dope with today's guest from living well with Shell Shelly shear, the spiritual worked out. Ready, set,

Brandon Handley 0:19
go. Hey there spiritual dope. Today I am on with Shelly shear she is a Vancouver based speaker, emerging author and coach. She spent 28 years as an accounting professional helping small to medium businesses navigate entrepreneurship while having a second side hustle. Her experience has crossed many industries from graphic design, manufacturing, automotive, spa, digital marketing, to hot dog vendors, it is give her a unique perspective into people and how they handle their businesses and themselves. She has a gift for finding logic, cool, logical, common sense solutions. She has a successful podcast that focuses on not living in regret and creating high functioning habits because she truly believes everyone is enough and should have an easier, more vibrant life. Thank you so much for joining today. How are you?

Shelley R Shearer 1:10
I am great. Thanks for having me. On if our listeners don't know, we've known each other for a couple of years very casually because we took our podcasting course together four and a half years ago. Yeah. And it's wonderful to see us both still here doing what we love to do.

Brandon Handley 1:22
Absolutely. I think that is really what I think is really funny was um, when you must have connected with me on instagram when I might, you know still under like Brandon Handley and I just switched that to spiritual dope. And then it like at some point like there was an aha moment where you realize that that that had happened like I was just praying in

Unknown Speaker 1:43
a second here.

Brandon Handley 1:46
So listen, how I like to start these off with his, you know, we were talking before this everybody's connected to source source. You know, divinity, whatever speaks through us. We're basically you know, vessels for the divine. And this podcast today, you are here to connect with somebody who's listening. What is that message for that person coming through divine through you for that person?

Shelley R Shearer 2:12
My message today would definitely be emotions follow thoughts.

Brandon Handley 2:17
What do you mean by that?

Shelley R Shearer 2:19
Most people I find found in my own life as well that we are taught that we think and emotions are separate or that because of the way we feel we think a certain way and actually, that is improving quite an accurate the last 20 years during research and such that that's not the case at all. In fact, we think a thought, then we have an emotion. And the reason that's really important, in fact, I was literally brand brand new puppy in the house. It was sitting it was uptime is like Oh, I got to exercise her before I get on this podcast. I was going to do my own podcast today. And I'll do it after. And that's what actually was in my head because this morning I woke up myself personally, just rabbiting just swirling the drain. Just my thoughts were whirling in my mind. They were negative, there was nothing positive going on. It's like I can't get up and do this day like this. And that thought came to me it actually was something that I learned was kind of vocalize it's something I've understood sort of in an innate level, but it was vocalized to me by someone Jan Jansen, I think mentioned it and of course, I was in a couple months back. And she said, emotions follow thoughts. And that's what most people don't accept, and also don't consciously train themselves to change how they think. And it's probably very much how I don't know how you pronounce his last name, Tom, Bill,

Unknown Speaker 3:34
you know, the name

Shelley R Shearer 3:35
all over his all over Instagram, he's got the thought Institute of some sort. And he very much hammers this home that you know, we need to control how we think. Yeah, so with that being said, You know, I was texting with the puppy for a quick little nap this morning. And I thought, This is not how I want to start my day. And so I immediately went into my mind quieted my head and started going through what I wanted to see my day look like, how I wanted to give gratitude. And my goodness, it took like a minute and then the rest was just bonus. It was like the whole feeling of hopelessness and negativity just left because where you focus is

Brandon Handley 4:16
in your life, right? Right. Right. And you know that you're directing your energy into that space right and you're literally that energy is what it takes for something to manifest whatever that means to people out there right because my wife and I always like I'll say something about manifesting something's like shit manifested this idea i think i don't think you know what I mean. Totally. Yeah. manifestation just means that it showed up because they put their thoughts intention and well behind it in some way shape or madly, right? So no, I love I love that right emotions follow thought we're gonna have to dig into that as we kind of see

Shelley R Shearer 4:52
if you can control things you're thinking of and Jim quick that does the, the book on the learning the one that had the brain injury, he talks about this as well, because he's trying to improve your memory. And there's just so much now neuroscience behind it in the fact of gene expression and how we function, how we feel how we think. Now it's the time in this day and age, especially with what's going on in the world around us to really open up and say, let's go research that a little bit. As you and I were chatting, just before we got on the on the actual podcast was, I grew up in a very, very religious home, very, very strict religious upbringing. believed and loved the certainty of the black and white of the knowledge at the time, especially as a teenager, and then you know, walked away later. And now I've come back to it because I believe in the law of attraction. So whether someone uses God or universe or Supreme, I don't care. Right, right. Right. Energy interchangeable. Totally. Because we're just energetic beings having a physical experience. Yeah. And power goes where we focus our energy. So focus it somewhere positive that benefits you create some more high functioning you Yeah, your

Brandon Handley 6:03
choice is a choice. There's a couple pieces in that. I mean, even today, I picked up some random article that scientists are saying, there's a 5050 shot that, um, we are in a construct, we are in, you know, a program, the matrix, like a lizard is a 5050 shot. So, you know, the same way there's a 5050 shot as to whether or not there's an afterlife, right, right. So why not kind of like, make those choices consciously on what you believe? Because you have a 5050 shot? Mm hmm. Right. So um, so let's talk a little bit about like, I love, I love your podcast, I think it's really well done. You handle the guests very well, you're so well spoken, and you bring this energy that you're bringing, you know, today, to your podcast, what you know, let's talk about kind of how you found yourself in the space that you're at now. And let's give it like the leading with spirituality that you do now, like I've heard you, like, kind of referenced the woowoo. But like, or intuition, you know, how have you integrated that into your life and found more or less fulfillment from it? Like, how's that? How's that showing up in your life?

Shelley R Shearer 7:16
Well, it's funny, cuz it's something you said earlier about how you've manifested it, No, honey, honestly, doesn't matter that you're finding all the coincidences I still manifested. Because those are the those are the tracks that lead you to where you're going. And you can call it coincidence, or you can own it, and I prefer to own it. And like I said, four and a half years ago, you and I took a podcasting course. Now, just just a little quick on that one. That was a very funny thing, how that happened. I went to a Make Your Mark event here in Canada, and signed up for speaking from stage because I wanted to find my voice. I've always just felt a little bit like I you know, grew up with the, you know, be seen and not heard one of female coming out of the 60s and 70s very autocratic father very religious upbringing. So lots of rules, lots of rigidity. And I'm clearly not that. So what I found in my early adulthood was I was always breaking out, but not in a positive way. Because I kept myself so contained all the time, that when I burst out, I usually got myself into trouble. And I needed to learn for myself how to live a more genuine and, and aligned life, and got very lucky in my 20s to attend a course called the pursuit of excellence, which talks about the filters to which we see the world and also talks about personality traits. So really, right from my 20s, very young, the universe kept putting the stuff in my path, awakening me awareness, opening my scope of reference, because really, like I say, I was raised in the box. Also, though, my dad was what was so funny is my dad's an entrepreneur. So there was reason a box and I was a female.

Brandon Handley 8:55
Um, you know, what I love about your story that too, is that your dad became a successful entrepreneur after the age of 40, right?

Unknown Speaker 9:02
Yes. Oh, you do listen to my podcast.

Shelley R Shearer 9:06
Clearly, oh, you're such a sweetheart. Yes, he did. And yet, when he looked at my life, he wanted it all to be planned out, you know,

Brandon Handley 9:15
as a parent, though, right? As a parent, and and him maybe not having found his stride, and this is me talking to right as a

Unknown Speaker 9:22
parent, and you, you are the parent,

Brandon Handley 9:24
right? It's like, it's like, you know, I did it in a very uncontrolled manner, how I got to where I am today is a miracle. But, um, knowing kind of what I know, it's like, you know, here's how you can truly succeed with ease. And that's what you try to impart to your children. And we know that children are like, that's not gonna work for me. I'm not to figure out my own way. You're like, fine. I know. And

Shelley R Shearer 9:46
that I think, as a parent, that has got to be the hardest thing. The absolute hardest thing. I know, I did, you know, I only have the one son, and he has been through some very serious challenges in his life. In fact, we've just kind of recently he doesn't want to Talking about this i'm not saying anything he's not okay with. We thought he had bipolar for a number of years and have been battling that only to find out he's on the spectrum actually. And it made so much more sense. It's just he was so high functioning as a child, they never caught it. Yeah. And it wasn't till I was, you know, he was going into kindergarten grade one and I was in an abusive relationship, and psychiatrists got brought in to assess the situation, and they will deal with ADD, and we carried on and then later in life when things were imploding, it's like something else is going on here.

Brandon Handley 10:27
So it's right there, the tools right there, right, the tools weren't there. The tools, you know, didn't really exist. Exactly then but but I'd love to hear that, you know, you're fine. You're catching it now. Right.

Shelley R Shearer 10:38
And I felt I did the best I could with what I had that something I think people need to give himself grace for more, I really had to learn to do that with my own parents and forgiveness. They did the best with the not with what they were given. Yeah, it came with all their own baggage and all their own hurts and, and things. Sure, um, then I became an adult and the parents I look back and going, I didn't do that perfectly. But perfection is a lie. It's not real. If this is just a journey, we've got to keep going on. So I handled it you know, in a manner as education again, so then we come back to the kind of again the with the high functioning, right, even when he was diagnosed, my attitude was you're not going on Ritalin, and we're not living on drugs. It was learn about what ad D or ADHD was at the time. And I behaved it with behavior modification was lis one thing at a time. Like he was the kid that melted at the front door. If you gave him three things to do. He'd be sitting there with the backpack, unpacked one shoe in his hand, and crying. It's like I asked you to put your shoes on grab your knapsack can walk out the door, like it

Unknown Speaker 11:35
wasn't that difficult. But this

Shelley R Shearer 11:37
is me being a very high functioning a tech personality seeing that child? No, it simply wasn't connecting. Yeah, all those things. Yeah. Yeah. So we got you know, we like you say the tools weren't there. But I was lucky enough again, to me kind of a few people got on to those you say the woowoo side of things. Yeah. To me. It's just the holistic, natural side of things. Anti drug? As much as possible. I have nothing against medical Oh my gosh. Yes, that dental surgery. Thank you God for painkillers and antibiotics,

Unknown Speaker 12:06
right, yeah.

Shelley R Shearer 12:08
But I don't want those corrections being part of everyone's everyday life now, simply because they don't understand how to control their thought process. And then recognize that we have emotional responses to those thought processes, and to the trauma that occurred to us, you know, we're not to blame for the trauma that was given done to us or whatever is children. But as adults, I truly believe and I've walked this journey for 20 years, we are responsible for healing it, address it. Yeah.

Brandon Handley 12:34
address it just for having children. I mean, look, just it's not. I don't know, I, it's hard to say like, it's, you know, you can never say like, I know, that I always refer to kind of grown up, it was pretty easy, right? There's some shit that happen. And but like, you just kind of look at it and be like, well, that's just really gave me the ability to withstand X, Y, or Z or gave me strength or, you know, that's, you know, or, or like, he'll it right, but like, let's just feel that address it wholly absorbed that that happened. and move on. Right. Like, let that be. The dragon the wind or whatever, right? Don't

Shelley R Shearer 13:13
let it define you. Right. Yeah, that makes me sad when I let people see such negativity or illness in their life. define them as a person. Right,

Brandon Handley 13:21
right. Well, I mean, you know, so talk about that for yourself. You're doing the fibromyalgia. Right, isn't that? Yes. I mean, you know, I and I, I imagined that initially, you did kind of let it define you and kind of slow you down.

Unknown Speaker 13:38
Ooh, solid years. Yeah. Talk

Brandon Handley 13:41
about that. That because that can't be easy.

Shelley R Shearer 13:44
I'm sure the property and one of the hardest things probably about things like fibro and mental illness are they are silent. Hmm. I'm like my puppy right now. Um, if this gets if she gets a little whiny, we can just stop and you can edit for me and I'll do something with her. But that happens people people get very caught up in it. And I did. I was like, how this can be happening to me. I was functioning as a personality. I was working it was built a new house. It's like, Are you kidding me? And leave me flat for two years until I learned to adjust, get my pain under control even tried to drug route for a little bit. And then the side effects were brutal. You know, there's just a lot of suicidal thoughts and things and my husband, I were like, We can't live this way. Alright, so it was a long journey. And I went again, right back into the holistic world of how do I support my body? How do I give myself and sometimes that just want to sit on the same silly napping. napping was a huge thing. I follow naps. But that ego of mine, yes. fought me tooth and nail and we're stronger than this. We're better than this. We don't need this. Yes, we do. That's the West.

Brandon Handley 14:52
That's the western day. That's the western mentality.

Shelley R Shearer 14:57
Absolutely. Yeah. So um, so a child of the 80s I was raised in that women can have it all nonsense have we have full time careers husbands that we wait still do the 1960s housewife thing through, and three children and don't have House Cleaners?

Brandon Handley 15:11
You guys got back, man. I mean, even kidding me, I still I still I'm still very frustrated. Like, and like, you know, I believe women can do whatever they want be wherever they want, but to make a society where like, you know, you can't have at least one parent at home, to be with the family or something to make to make that success in the material realm. You know, based on sex, right, be like, Oh, you can do it, I can do it. And we're all gonna go do it like, Well, you know, who's, where's this other human aspect where, like, you know, that's cool. You go ahead, I don't even like going to work. So you know, somebody wants to show up and be like, you know what, I got this, you just stay home take care of children, um, like I'm in. Right. So I get frustrated from time to time just because that's, you know, we're, I feel like it was, you know, I'm not a I'm not a you know, conspiracy guy or anything like that. Like, I do feel like, you know, that was that was forced on forced on us.

Shelley R Shearer 16:12
Okay, you're talking to Adam, because you know, he doesn't he have a brilliant way of describing. So let me explain to me how explain surely how women completely got. How did you subserve his word for it? Where Yes, you had this great life where you were looking after the next generation, creating human beings being there having this whole emotional support for your family. And society walked in and said, Oh, but you don't really want that, right? You want to go to work for 10 hours, like your husband does, and then still come home and do that all in two hours a night? Are you kidding me? And now requires two incomes to have a home,

Brandon Handley 16:45
but it wasn't and it wasn't there. That was your idea you want you forced it? Right. Like I mean, you know, so. So really interesting. Sorry to get off topic.

Shelley R Shearer 16:53
No, that's okay. I want to vote not to like be a slave.

Brandon Handley 16:56
Right, right. Right. Right. Right. just crazy stuff. Crazy stuff. It is.

Shelley R Shearer 17:02
So you, you'd asked me about my fibro. So yeah, it was a long journey for a couple of years ago when we changed houses. And it gave us options because my income was right out the door. And I had an accounting professional income. So needless to say, that was missed. And there was nothing in the Canadian system, even what we call CPP up here, for this particular disease, there was no sort of long term disability or anything. And I was funny, you know what, as a single Mum, I carried all those extras, insurances for years. But when I got married, after a couple years, I let them go is like in our truck. Ryan was raised, we can both afford to pay the mortgage, we had life insurance in case something happened to either one of us, and I let all that extra stuff going. Hmm, not sure what it helped. But you kind of look back in hindsight, in really so that's actually was one of the things that started me finding my voice was when I started moving myself forward, it immediately was how do I help other people do the same thing? Right? How do I encourage them to not be defined by a disease, and for me a big part of it, it was on another friend's podcast a couple months back. And we talked very in depth in this because she deals with women or audiences, middle aged women. And she'd asked, you know, as a silent disease, no one can see it, what do you do you find support. And I believe that in any area of your life, though, find the support around you. And the sad part is, I hate to say it, it's not always family. It wasn't for me, and people really just always want it to be, they decide, I might need this, or I want this, but it has to be this person. And that is a tough limiting belief to let go for a lot of people because often that isn't who's going to be your biggest support.

Brandon Handley 18:37
I think that families too close, right to too close to the situation. And, you know, they know you from you know, they they know too much about you. Mistake you've ever made. Right. Right. And so they play out like the the history of you. Right versus

Shelley R Shearer 18:53
well, sad.

Brandon Handley 18:54
Right? So and that and that's it. That's not an easy transition mental model to shift. Right? So, you know, when you go to Thanksgiving dinner or whatever, you guys just happy Thanksgiving on Monday, right? You know, when you go to that dinner, you're surrounded by family and they talk about all the old you and all the old stories and and all this other stuff. Whereas like your focus is, the future is so amazing. And I'm so excited. Let's talk about what's the calm? Yes. Like I'm giving you we talked about, you know, law of attraction with a lot of people. You know, I don't know that many people actually in the space but giving thanks for you know, everything has already been done. Everything's already been created. It's just simply our awareness of that creation. So giving thanks for everything that's already been done. includes the future. Yes, it does.

Shelley R Shearer 19:49
Right. Because that is something that Joe dispenza talks about. And he Now speaking of being left a center for me. He has taken me into a whole nother realm of my Christian beliefs, like Where do we go with this? He just has a spectacular way of looking at things he says the best way to create your future is to is to imagine it. But you have to live in imagine it already have happening. That's right. Now something that kind of that he says that I really have taken to heart and I was talking to a girl from the other day, and she was going through a rough time. And I said, You know what, we have to remember that our memories, when we're remembering something, we're still living them in the now. Because our souls or spirits don't differentiate necessarily to timelines. I look in the mirror and I see the wrinkles, and I see my hair graying. And I know time is passing, because my body is aging. Hmm. But my aunt told me once when I was very young, surely what you'll understand, I was just like, barely even 30. And she said, You will know when you get older, your spirit has an age just you do. It's all right. In my mind's eye, I'm still the same person. You know,

Brandon Handley 20:52
it's so funny, you say that? I always, you know, so I was doing Jiu Jitsu for a while until COVID. And go in there and hang out with people. And you guys are being guys talking about? I'd be getting in there with a younger guy, like, come on old guy, or you're, you know, you're just getting old or I was like, I'm not getting all my body's getting old. Right leg? You know, I'm like, as you know, nothing has changed. Right? Now, there's

Shelley R Shearer 21:15
my wisdom. Yeah, and whatever, which is fantastic. Right? Oh, you've had this all blessing us at

Brandon Handley 21:23

21. That's funny, because I remember you saying that earlier to, just to how, you know, you wouldn't exchange the wisdom right now for youth. But there's always that other line too, that people are always cracking, which is on this makes me think of your dad, too, is, you know, what would you do? What would you tell your 20 year old self, you know, and and really what they're saying is like, especially now I think even at our age, and when your dad was 40 is like, when you realize all the wisdom that you have, like, I'm just gonna go ahead and use this for the next 2015 1520 years. Right. So yeah, you know,

Shelley R Shearer 21:58
that's a very good point about having grace. Because my dad has a great education was raised and born in Saskatchewan, one of nine, and he's one of the youngest of that crew. Very, very brutal, straight out of second generation British parents, very different upbringing. So now he married a city girl with an education and a working father, that worked professionally. So my parents are actually kind of funny that way, but well suited to each other's strengths. So I could see him as a father and later in life saying, Oh, no, please don't let my children go through what I went through, like, go get an education, right? Get a career. And he always wanted me to get something good. I could go somewhere that he could travel to meet me. He's like, I need you to go work in Australia or something, Shelly honey,

Unknown Speaker 22:41
so I can run?

Shelley R Shearer 22:43
Okay, that'll get right on that. So let's just go for physical therapy and got nowhere with it. But regardless, I could see you have very valid point as a parent, right? Don't do it, you know, don't do what I did don't make my mistakes. Right? Well,

Brandon Handley 22:56
that's what we try to do. All we're trying to do is like, man, here's my list. And just like, don't do any of this, right? Or, you know, and this is this is, this is why I feel like I'm very lucky to be a parent in this time and age, right, I started fatherhood for the rest of us, that was the first podcast. And that was, you know, learning the positive opposites. Right? You don't, right? And this plays right into law of attraction is play, right? And everything else, right? You don't think about what you don't want your children to? Do? You tell them what you want them to do? Exactly. Because otherwise, you're already creating the image in their mind of what you don't want them to do. And as you and I know, the subconscious doesn't see yes or no, they just see the picture

Shelley R Shearer 23:34
exactly right or wrong. Even if it doesn't differentiate, it just sees the picture that you're playing, just like having the comment about the memories, every time. I mean, remember things, it's fun, but recognize that you need to like, let it go and go back to where it belongs. Because otherwise, you're living your current existence in that memory. And if that memory and those experiences are negative, or bad, you are bringing them into your current circumstances, like this morning, every single day of your life. No wonder there is no positive emotion going forward. Because your thoughts are all in the past and all the negativity. Absolutely. I

Brandon Handley 24:11
mean, look, it's in the word right and negative being like a re cursor, right? Like we did that. Um, so what one thing that you talked about this morning, too, was, you know, waking up and catching and creating a vision for the day?

Shelley R Shearer 24:27
Yes, very much.

Brandon Handley 24:29
Is that a daily practice?

Unknown Speaker 24:31
Yes, very much. So.

Brandon Handley 24:32
What's that, like, you know, for the audience.

Shelley R Shearer 24:37
No matter what I have positive or negative to say about my upbringing, prayer was instigated in my life. And that makes meditation for me quite easy. And because I never had grew up in the Catholic religion where I had to worry about talking to a priest. It was always a direct contact, contact or conversation sorry with source. Meditation for me is really that now which is why I talk about in my little ebook I don't care if you're lying in bed in the morning, or it's just before you're going to sleep at night, let your mind wander and just go over the positives or go over what you want to see happen. show gratitude for whatever's in your life, what's going on in that day. Because that now is in the subconscious, like you say, the subconscious isn't there to differentiate between all of this is just waiting for you to give it you know, to activate. And so activate on the positive activate on what you're grateful for. So yes, that is very, very much a daily thing for me. In fact, I even got into the habit of doing a sitting here, a gratitude journal, and someone knows, and of course, one day and you just buy them. And that for people, it's like people who go on diets, I always say get an app on your phone and write down everything for a week, though. Because your awareness you need to see because they're like, cheating. I don't eat sugar. Mm hmm. Yeah, it's every thing.

Brandon Handley 25:53
Whatever you track, right? Whatever you track, you pay, you can measure. Yeah, you can measure as well.

Shelley R Shearer 25:58
So my gratitude journal was that's became a habit at nighttime, just even if it was just three lines. It's like, I'm tired. I don't wanna do this right now. I made myself do it. It was a habit to do it that way. 80% of the time, it was getting done.

Brandon Handley 26:11
Yeah, no, I mean, you're lucky and you can't beat yourself up if you don't do it. Right. Like it's these are. And I think that that's one of the problems. Not a problem. It's just one of our, again, another Western civilization Quirk. Right. Which is, which is Oh, I missed the day. I guess I'm never gonna do it again. Oh, right. It's all or nothing.

Shelley R Shearer 26:32
Oh, I hear coaches talk about that all the time. Fitness coaches, anything is like, no, get back up on the horse The next day, please. That's why I say to people what I used to coach health stuff because I was in a network marketing company for a couple years. It was just kind of fun. And it really spoke to my need just to be healthier. Because I've always been a bit of a nutcase. Like always a bit of a health nut, what you do 80% of the time is a good habit. Hmm. Not the one day a week or the every now and then, where you just blow it all to smithereens. And you haven't gone to the gym in a week or when on vacation and drank every day. Okay, great. You did that writing on, right act to your routine. Oh, and if you can get those habits in place, and they are there 8% of the time, you will slip back to them because it's your norm.

Brandon Handley 27:15
Right. Well, I mean, that was one of the things that we learned with this podcasting course was, you know, your default pattern, right? I know that that was one of the places I first picked up on how your default patterns was through, you know, Sam,

Shelley R Shearer 27:30
right and consistency, Sam, just, you know, what, what is he? What does Sam always say? My favorite expression is Sam. Repetition reduces resistance. Yeah, I

Brandon Handley 27:39
haven't listened for a while. But um, you know, I still love them like it without without going through that I wouldn't, I wouldn't be where I am today. And so let's talk about what is it you're doing right now? Are you doing the coaching? Are you? Yes.

Shelley R Shearer 27:51
So just getting you just very small. It's just a very, it's new. It's new to me for now. I started coaching back in January, took on my first clients, okay, and it didn't actually want to do it. At first, my coach was making me I just want to public speak, I love to talk.

Brandon Handley 28:06
Clearly, you do their job, but you're very well spoken. So thanks, sweetie. Putting it to good use.

Shelley R Shearer 28:12
And I wanted to write a book. But it was like you still have to earn a living. And also there's always there's always the attitude with coaching is that you can't keep all that knowledge to yourself, if you're not, and I'm definitely so I talk about things in my podcasts, something called the sacred gifts. And it was a course I took a number of years ago and that lady is now a personal friend of mine, even though I quote and I called her, Monique ladette MacDonald, Monique, l e da Tila that you can find her anywhere sacred gifts, okay. And she talks about the things that are innately in us, like right out of the gate is one of those neat courses where you take and you realize, Oh, that's not me. That's a skill set. Like administration. I worked in an office for 30 years. All right, not my gift. Okay, I just learned to get good at it. So you can still have great skill sets and everything. But I have the gift of what they call service, and hospitality and knowledge. Those are my three main gifts. So I have to learn stuff. But then I also have to share it with you because what makes it a gift is that you share it with the world. So although I love music, I don't have a gift of music, things like that. It's something I definitely never share with the world.

Unknown Speaker 29:19
It's just not pleasant.

Shelley R Shearer 29:20
But the gift of service was and what I realized early on in my accounting career was that gift was always in play with the smaller clients I was servicing. I was helping you was hospitality was even involved in my knowledge was needed. Right? When I got to be later in life when I was at companies like Bell Canada, one of those big telco companies here in Canada. those gifts were not engaged in I load my accounting work. I thought what happened? It's the same job. So I'm making more money and I've got people reporting to me and I hated it hated every minute of it. So gifts are really important. So the gift of services there regardless and it's innate in me. Therefore, if I know knowledge, I have to be able to share it and coaching is the best way to do that.

Brandon Handley 30:00
Yeah, I love it. I love. I love coaching, I love sharing out that knowledge I love. I love seeing somebody go through the journey, right? I love, I love seeing them come into it too, you know, and just being able to recognize it like just on a visual cue or even like through some phrases, if somebody's like, typing in like Facebook or somewhere and you're like, I know exactly where you are, I know exactly what's going on in your mind. And we should talk, you know, and you know, and that's it's not a, it's not a sign of transaction I'm looking for, right? It's like, Look, this is I can help you if you'd like, kind of thing, right? Or like, so so I get that. And I've seen it, I've seen it called, here's another one of my little rants. But I've seen it called, you know, generational knowledge, right? We need to, we need to pass that generational knowledge. Yes. Right. So I feel almost, and I'm sure there's not intentional in any way, shape or form. But if you look at Western civilization again, especially in the US and Canada, the generations have been divided very much almost purposely, right? Like almost, you know, so, you know, when you get too old, they're like, well, we got to ship you off. We can't take care of you anymore. But like who, where's where's, where are the elders, and in that situation, right to pass,

Shelley R Shearer 31:22
which is a completely score, fundamental belief system, in every Aboriginal or ancient civilization in history. Right. The elders are the holders of the knowledge. We've got to the point that as soon as our kids hit nine, we've got them labeled as Tweenies, or millennials, there's, so they've got this lovely little label, and then they start buying into that indoctrinated propaganda. It's like, No, no, no, stop right now, please. Because all you are right now is just young, you might be growing up in different technology than us. Fair enough. But I think one of our biggest advantages, and just why cannot stand people to say things Oh, I can't be bothered that things will never change.

Unknown Speaker 32:00
Really?

Shelley R Shearer 32:03
Because I'm pretty sure 200 years ago, you would dive in infection because penicillin wasn't invented yet. So that's sort of, you know, willful ignorance. Crazy. Yes, for sure. Do not put our children into a box and then do not ship off for elderly. Right? There is a humongous disconnect here in our society in this in this area.

Brandon Handley 32:20
Right. Yeah. So you see to salutely All right, all right. So you know, this, this kind of innate ability, the, you know, connected to source, kind of reconnecting back to source like, kind of after pushing it aside, or, or just not recognizing it for what it was for a while how, you know, how did that show back up in your life? And what's it been like, since then?

Shelley R Shearer 32:48
I'd have to see it showed back up when I got a handle on accepting that this wasn't a punishment, because that's how I felt I felt God punished me with fibro. Hmm, I get you know, and it's funny, because I wasn't raised necessarily with some of the Catholic belief systems that you know, that things happen because you've been naughty, or that you need to do good things to earn your way into heaven. And like I say, remember, I'm married to a Catholic, and a very good friend. So some of this stuff is not I may know, I've talked to these people, I know how some of the religious doctrine works. And I've never, I've always believed in grace, because being in the Pentecostal church are simply saved, you know, you accept Jesus Christ as your Savior, and the sins are forgiven. And when you're raised with that sort of belief structure, it often makes me surprised how many people hang on to so much guilt and shame, because it's like, well, if you truly believe that you can change as a person and that there was grace and there is forgiveness from a higher source. And Shouldn't you be living in that in that grace? And that, that good stuff,

Unknown Speaker 33:54
right? Why wouldn't you be?

Shelley R Shearer 33:56
Exactly So for me, when I came to the realization that this was not a punishment, and when I also started coaching with my own coach to say, this is a journey, and there's lessons here I need to learn one of the things in you, you and I have Adam in common. One of the his strong belief structures is

Unknown Speaker 34:16
so you're able to edit this

Unknown Speaker 34:17
will be good people have dogs,

Unknown Speaker 34:21
because

Unknown Speaker 34:22
you can always get up and walk away for a second and I can monitor if you're, it's okay.

Unknown Speaker 34:28
All she's doing, she can't

Unknown Speaker 34:29
see.

Shelley R Shearer 34:31
So one of the things that he really hammered home for me in our coaching sessions were that life happens for me, not to me,

Brandon Handley 34:37
that's a great trend. And

Shelley R Shearer 34:38
when you can get your head around that as an individual, it changes everything. It changes how you look at every situation. And in fact, although maybe not 100%, you know, across the board relatable, it saved my marriage even when I was struggling a year or two ago because instead of looking at the lame, like, what are you doing? And how I'm feeling about it? Sure. Again, back to the emotions follow thoughts. Of course, I'm going to think negative or feel negatives, when all I'm thinking is he's this he's that he's, what other response is your body going to have? Or your subconscious going to accept? Negative? Yeah. So when you can take responsibility for yourself, which is what really started this journey, and then believe that life is for me, well, if it's for me, then that means everything is for me. So what do I need to take out of this situation? Well, I wouldn't have a podcast, I wouldn't be coaching, which I love. Excuse me, I wouldn't have been able to even help my son through so much of what he's gone through the last few years, because I was literally just two steps ahead of him going through my own stuff. I wouldn't have been able to repair some of the relationship with my parents. And now that you know, there are failures, you know, they've got dimension, my mother has been diagnosed as well. So she doesn't remember speaking me sometimes the day before, which is very sad. But it made me look at all of that very, very differently. What was the lesson here for me?

Brandon Handley 36:11
The idea of taking 100% ownership for your life. You know, I understood the concept, and I went and I saw cheese. Who's the Chicken Soup for the Soul guy? Okay, so I went saw him. He really great. Yeah, really great presenter, right. But he said, You know, he goes, just try it for a little bit, just try to take 100% ownership, because because if you take you know, 100% ownership for everything, everything, including like everything, everything included yet, then you know everything, it's on you, right, you've got that responsibility. But if you just take responsibility for 99% of it, that's, that's not gonna work. Right? So you've just so much is 1% can throw it off for you. And it's kinda like you said to, you know, they say this, and I think the data, you know, either all of it, or none of it is God. And just like Albert Einstein says, to either everything or nothing is a miracle. Right? Like miracles. So I love that mindset, right, and making that shift that the world is out there for you. I don't know if you're familiar with a book that I love is called, are you ready to succeed? Um, I've

Shelley R Shearer 37:29
read that one.

Brandon Handley 37:30
So make a note of that one. Oh, good. I mean, I'm on my, I'll probably read it for my fourth time this year, because, you know, I'll read like a chapter a week, and you do the exercises in it, and you go through it. And in that book, he just talks about how you know, of Indian descent.

Unknown Speaker 37:46
How

Brandon Handley 37:48
the benevolent universe has Montana, right? It's a benevolent universe. And if you can find, you know, what good the universe is kind of doing for you on your behalf today, then, that's a game changer. It is. And also to your relationship example, right? I view my relationship as a gift and opportunity for me to recognize what my triggers are. Right? If

Unknown Speaker 38:16
that's a good one. Yes. Right. Your

Brandon Handley 38:18
triggers are what are my triggers? Right? Because if I'm, if I'm, you know, it goes to that, that little letter writing exercise I'm sure you're familiar with, like, if I write you a letter, if I write a letter to someone that's pissing me off, and blah, blah, blah, and all these things that are annoying me about them? That's a reflection on myself. Right? Yes. Well, so the reverse is true, though, too. So if I write a letter of like, all the admirable traits, you know, those are the things I admire about myself, right? So I'll catch myself in the relationship situation be like, Oh, my gosh, she doesn't do those who didn't do that? I'm like, neither did I. Right. Right. So so I just look at it as kind of like an opportunity for me to recognize what my triggers are. And that was a lesson for me, because and again, too, if we don't address those triggers are the things that are always blown up in our face, they will always be there.

Shelley R Shearer 39:09
Yes. And they will always control you. So you will always be doing the neat what we like, like I like to call the knee jerk reaction versus the planned response. Where would you rather live that planned response or a knee jerk situation where your subconscious is controlling? I always love that analogy with the iceberg. And there's the waterline, and here's what everyone sees what we think is our reality, right? And then this is our subconscious, huge compared to up here.

Brandon Handley 39:37
Right? Right. So I mean, the video may not go out so I'm gonna just explain so you know, she, she just drew like, kind of a triangle and it's literally only like, in 5% maybe on the top and 95% on the bottom, which, you know, I always we can accord to your conscious and your subconscious. Yes, absolutely. Absolutely. So, um,

Unknown Speaker 39:58
you know, the

Brandon Handley 39:59
idea Spiritual dope is kind of like, we can get these spiritual, right we can get like these spiritual highs, right? Like it just like like, Oh man, I just feel like so filled with source and just filled with life. What where does that come for you like what are some of your spiritual highs? What are some of your spiritual dopes?

Shelley R Shearer 40:21
Definitely family and when I say that I'm married into an amazing family, and I have my granddaughter as well. And you know, it's funny, you should just mention that. For some reason, it just popped into my mind growing up with the Bible, and the fact that you were two or more gathered together, the Bible says there will be also wood, you know what, that is actually a universal truth. And we see it every day and mob mentality, we thinking how does all those people get crazy and will because they became a group and the energy became a force of nature, the negativity that a few people were feeling, they surrounded themselves with it. So I remember my parents telling me growing up, he was very important to go to church on Sunday for that food. And I'm thinking as I got older, like, whatever. But actually, that is very true in our lives. It doesn't necessarily have to be church for you find the friends, I found my tribe, and especially my neighborhood. So when I got sick, and we were able to move up the street into a house that had rental suite, so we didn't have to downsize was a gift, just a gift from God. And because these people, these ladies, especially in this neighborhood, and even the men, they're our friends, they're our support network. And where we are gathered together, there is positive energy. And there is thought and there is solutions talked about and not just gossip that we're looking for. You need to make a decision and actively go search for that in your life. Now, if it's going to church on Sundays, great, just don't get involved in a lot of negativities everyone's going to hell but you nonsense, because that's really roughly not going to give you what you need. There are still reasons why people gather, right? Why there are powers in numbers because exponentially our energetic beings of ourselves or a field grow and feed off each other. That's why kids and gangs run around doing bad things. And it gets worse. And the opposite is true. For sure.

Brandon Handley 42:16
I just finished reading on force versus power by Dr. David Hawkins. And he talks a little bit about this too. Like I mean, this is a you read about you read about people to spend time with Yogi's, right and how they're all just kind of sitting there and meditation and then all of a sudden, like they get that whatever happens right? They get that head of spiritual dope and like what, but he calls it it's a vibrational entrainment. So like, if you guys are all hanging out vibrating at a certain level, then you guys are also increasing each other's vibration.

Shelley R Shearer 42:48
Exactly. or something. I actively search for that in my life. Yeah,

Brandon Handley 42:53
yeah, no, absolutely. But I mean, that's what they tell you to go find people that are beyond where you are today, right? go seek those people out. And for the people that are listening that like the woowoo stuff, that's one of the reasons why is because you are in an entrainment field then. Right,

Shelley R Shearer 43:11
exactly.

Brandon Handley 43:12
How much fun is that? Like, I mean, it may make us right makes me and that's and i think that i think that you know, again, this podcast is also geared towards like taking all this spiritual energy and applying it to a successful kind of business and place What would you say, you know, how have you taken like your spiritual energy and infused that to a more holistic business practice? I would say

Shelley R Shearer 43:41
I don't think I will actually the simple answer that is I don't think I could coach without it if I hadn't made that choice and that change wouldn't be coaching okay. I just wouldn't be I was my old self is too logical to right or wrong to not self yes an ego but I was very independent and bit bit of a loner, and I still am to a certain extent I'm what they call an extroverted introvert. I need a lot of downtime to recover. And being I guess, being a bit of Pathak, I guess they call it people's emotions affect me. And I really had to learn to protect myself while still giving back. So if I hadn't come to some of those realizations, yeah, I would still just be doing accounting work and worrying about debits and credits, not about people's well being.

Brandon Handley 44:27
Tell me tell me a tool or visualization or something you use to protect your energies. And I asked this because I don't have that problem. Like I like I am. I'm not an MP, right. Like I like, I like people and I feel your emotions and we're all cool, but like it doesn't. I don't feel it. Right. So but I do know people that experienced the same thing. So what do you do to protect your energy?

Unknown Speaker 44:58
Yeah. Oh,

Shelley R Shearer 44:59
that's an interesting one. I have to be careful what I read and watch on TV for starters. Okay, very much so because it affects me, it affects my sleep and affects my thought patterns. I do take a lot of quiet downtime. And in fact, we'll be going back, you know, we don't wait up to our family's home in penticton, which the Okanagan Valley here in BC, fruit wine country for us, that's lovely. And we have a little house that I lived in as a child and has always stayed in the family. And I'm going to head back up there for a few weeks. Next month on my own, I want to do the outline for the book, because I just need to be out of the energetic field of sometimes all the chaos that's even going on in my own home. Just people I've had students that live with us and get it done. And I do you need to just decompress a lot, watching what goes in my brain, I take it all on. And what I didn't realize is when I was younger, one of the things about being my personality trait was amplified in this aspect, not realizing I had empathic abilities, in the fact that I just shut myself down, I built a really strong wall around myself, and didn't let me out very often. Because they didn't know how to protect that it was just I might as well have just, you know, stuck my heart out of my chest, lay there and let you poke needles at it. And it's like, that's just a bizarre visual. But that's almost like what felt like to me. So now I work very hard at not over scheduling my days. And not being with people day in and day out. I cannot do that very hard to my husband who's a true extrovert. But for me, people drain me they don't charge me He is a full on. We've done this, this and this now let's go to the after party because I'm gonna get you set up. I'm like, Oh my gosh, let

Brandon Handley 46:37
me go home to my bathtub. Definitely, definitely more the after party kind of guy. That's okay. So

Shelley R Shearer 46:44
you're the after party and kind of guy or not.

Brandon Handley 46:45
I am okay. At least I was right. Like, I mean, it's been, you know, my whole journey has been, you know, just kind of letting go some of the things that didn't serve me like so now I'll shut down and be like, you know, if I'm in a fun man and party atmosphere, I'm like, nothing here for me go have fun. I'll see you guys later. Right? Like, because I'd rather go watch Autobiography of a yoga

Shelley R Shearer 47:10
Yogi. Okay, you know what I mean? But that's the big thing is recognizing it about yourself. So many people remove themselves from the situation without understanding why they're doing it. The understanding of the motivation is

Brandon Handley 47:21
so important. I think that, you know, we could probably wrap it with with something like that, where you started off with that, right, recognizing where your emotion was coming from, which was being driven by a thought. And then not just recognizing that being able to transform that energy, right? It's an immediate, it's kind of like the old old school railroad tracks right here it comes to train the trains already gone. The beautiful thing about the train that we run and operate in our mind is that we can switch those tracks at any time.

Shelley R Shearer 47:53
Yes, exactly. So I've always loved the expression, like you say, to end this here, I've always loved the expression, it's all in your mind. Because it is a full believer on that I believe in the placebo effect, I believe that we have the ability to change based on how we think about things. So really understanding what you need as an individual and taking that time, and not allowing people that don't understand how paths work draining me all the time. That has been a godsend for me. And the big thing too, is that you cannot apologize for it, then quit apologizing to the world around you. That doesn't understand. Like I say I'm married to an extrovert, full on and because I'm social social story, people always thought we were the same. But I need very, very different recovery tools than he does. Yeah.

Brandon Handley 48:41
was important to recognize. So thank you. That's definitely some nice tools. I think for people that experienced that. Me on like a lead ball, like I don't even know. Right. So and it's that's okay, too. So what, where can we send people to hang out with you? I mean, it's been a ton of fun. I will keep going. But I have absolutely no,

Shelley R Shearer 49:00
I know we do. And we're gonna we'll do this again soon, I promise. And I'd love to have you as guest on my show as well, because I my listeners would just I have a very large male demographic of all i don't know why but I do. And so they would just love they love it. When I do interviews. You can reach me anywhere at living well with shell that is the name of the Instagram page, the Facebook page, my email living well with Shell at gmail, the generic one. Anything living well with Shell, you will find me on social media.

Brandon Handley 49:24
Awesome. So thank you so much for coming on today. I really enjoyed it. Thank

Shelley R Shearer 49:27
you for having me. It's been wonderful. We'll see you soon. Absolutely. Excellent.

Unknown Speaker 49:32
Thanks for listening to the spiritual Dell. And thank you, Shelley, for being on the show. Spiritual dub. Be sure to follow us on Facebook and on our website does spiritual dope.com

Transcribed by https://otter.ai