Risk Blossoming
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Brandon Handley 0:00
What is going on spiritual dope checking in on you, I know I said I would get some podcasts out the interviews and I will. That's not why I'm here today, though, they will come out, I'm just not satisfied where everything is right now. I don't think that it makes sense to rush it unless I really need to. And there's really no need to rush it. And I think that's what we're talking a little bit about today. I've got a quote here that I posted to Facebook in 2019 that I showed up again, and I had mentioned, hey, this, this resonates almost almost more today than it did then. You know, suffice to say that it still has an impact. And it still strikes a chord with me. And somebody else asked me said, you know, what does that Brandon, what does that quote mean to you? And so I'm gonna share a little bit about that today. In response to the question, and the quote is, and the day came when the risk it took to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took some blossom. And it's by a nice Nin. Hopefully I'm saying her name correctly, she is I've got wiki pulled up over here somewhere. Here we go. You should French born essayez diarists, novelist, writer, short stories and erotica born to Cuban parents in France. She was born in February 21 1903, died in 1977. You know, on a cursory glance, you'd be like, well, you know, whatever. and whatnot. I've never never even really heard of her but she has so many quotes that are really similar to this that are just like so. For me, I'd say evocative right they they evoke some type of emotion and they resonate with me quite well. And so when we when we kind of like let let's extract what it is, and this this quote that resonates with me, and maybe it resonates with you and maybe leaving your personal personally in the in the blossoming bud pureed phase freeze, please. So here's the deal, you are the flower and you have held it in too long. You are the flower and you've held it in too long, your your your you your petals, right, your petals are continuing to grow on the inside, and it just becomes tighter and tighter and tighter within and you don't know the challenge is and this was my challenge to you don't know exactly. And I'm still in this process and I wouldn't I wouldn't dare say that. I'm not completely out of the woods yet as I like to say so you don't know exactly what kind of flower you are. You don't want to risk sharing the fact that you're even a fucking flower you don't want people to know you know, you want people to think that maybe you're the plant. Right? Really Hey, I've always been Brandon this Brandon plant you've got this identity that has stuck with you for so long that you you don't even know what it would mean to bud to go now you're in a bud now you're in a bud state right now you're in his buds seat. And like I said the longer that you wait these petals they they grow on the inside right and each petal that grows in is thin and delicate and beautiful as it is has more space compressing on the inside each one kind of slowly crushing you on the inside out. There calms this kind of point that you reach in your life where that doesn't make any more sense to hold back where you've got something that you want to be or become something you're trying to share something that you know you realized for so long you played it for so you played safe for so long. And it hurts like it gets there's a there's an actual hurt you know, for me it was kind of like a deadening on the inside. If I didn't
take the risk to go ahead and decide to blossom, right, whatever, you know, again, accept the risk and blossom, you say, hey, you know, fuck it, I gotta I gotta move forward, I gotta open up, I gotta, I gotta be me, man, you know, I gotta express the truth of who I am. And that really wasn't even it at the point. And this is a really, you know, kind of a super memorable moment. And I would love to say that it was like, hey, when my kids were born, I'd love to say that was when I decided to, you know, come back and be be married, and I spent the rest of my life you know, and with my relationship with Meg and then, but it really just those were all pivotal moments. And I think that they were, you know, semi conscious choices, right? It's like, Yeah, let's go ahead and do this thing. And let's think this isn't gonna be great and definitely meaningful and impactful areas in my life. But it was like when I made this decision, along with support from from mag to first just kind of start the podcast right, open up my very first podcast and get a coach and chase down this kind of this dream this thing that I thought I could do this thing that called to me that pulled on my heartstrings. And initially, there was a initially it was like, Oh, well, I don't know if that's such a great idea because you know, looks gonna cost a fair amount of money to take on this coach and go do this thing. And there's some fear there, right? And again, this you've got this, you've got this you've got the the quote, right, the the day came when the risk it helps to remain tight in the bud was more painful than a risk and it took the blossom. Some things you're gonna hurt to do to lean forward into there's a risk that's inherent. I don't know again, I don't know what kind of fucking flower I'm gonna insert into. You don't know what kind of flower you're gonna turn into. I've spent my entire life is this plant. Right, let alone this. Look, I didn't even realize that the blood was forming. And the blood was forming that it was so tightly wound that I was like, you know, listen, if I don't do this thing, but don't do whatever this is Chase the podcast become a coach. And, and that in that moment that was there. And again, this is very similar to the hero's call and Joseph Campbell's. No, you know, the arc, right? The mythology. That's the hero's call. There's something pulling on you so hard. That if you don't lean into it, if you don't feel into it, it's it's almost like a guillotine to the heart. Right? It's almost like severing the the it is just like you're severing the connection between your head and your heart. You go numb. You say to yourself, well, this is it. I've given it everything I've got As matter of fact, I had somebody that I would talk to off and as I began the podcast as I leaned into this basis that asked me because well, why are you? Why are you even trying you, you kind of have like the things that you want and whatever and you have a pretty good life. And that's it because there's something else out there. This isn't it? This isn't it. And so you accept the risk to blossom. And you're gonna come to find out the truth of who you are. You know, there's no longer when you make that decision. The question to wonder what if? Because now it's like anything else once once you begin to allow those pedals to unfurl? There's no going back. Right? There's there's no, I'm sure there is a flower out there. Some botanist is gonna be like, hey, but you know, there's just one flower that does diddly Dude, I don't care. I'm gonna talk about the vast majority of them. That once you begin to unfurl, once you begin to blossom once you begin to allow the truth of who you are to be exposed on purpose, with intent and alignment with all that you are. That's it, man, you're you're you're there. You're in that space.
And that's what you That's, that's kind of, you know, looking back, right? Hindsight is 2020 And you know, look and being able to say, take a look at this quote and realize the moment that that happened for me in my life is hindsight 2020. When you're in the midst of it, when it's happening, you don't you it's, it's hard to know. It's hard to know, and I can't tell you that you're easily going to be able to say, Oh, look at me on blossoming. Because you're not going to know you're gonna. And that's, that's part of as part of this whole kind of the wonder, restlessness, nervousness of life, is that you're doing it and you don't have to be doing it, right. It's happening for you. It's happening through you, you're experiencing life. And just like the idea of the story where the mentee, or the young devotee shows up at a monastery, and he's like, Hey, we're here to get enlightenment, and, you know, find my path forward and you know, become spiritually renewed or whatever. And he talks to the master at the temple. And he goes, because all right, well, you know, sure, you're more than welcome to do it, it's gonna be a lot of work gonna be a lot of effort should take about 10 years. And the young disciple devotees like, what? No, no, no, I got that kind of time. I got that time a time. What if I work twice as hard put in twice as much effort? And, and really double down? How long will it take me then, and you know, the, you know, master at the monastery, he's like, Well, that's gonna take you 20 years. And the thing is, and you'll come to realize this, as you progress, and as you're doing what you and I'm still in the process myself, again, I'm not trying to say that I've mastered myself or hands on stuff, it's an ongoing process, what I've discovered is that a lot of this is true. The harder that I try at some of this stuff, the longer it takes to realize, recognize and understand. And the more often that I just do it and flow with it, it happens for me, versus me making this kind of Sir crazy effort. It's very similar. We all talked about planting the seeds, you create the conditions for the seeds, and then the seeds do their own thing, right, you create the conditions for what you would like to happen and what you would like to happen happens almost on its own. And again, not saying there's zero effort, but it's not. It's not this thing where you're putting forth this desperate type of energy anywho, I thought that I would share that in kind of a podcast format, simply because typing it all out really doesn't. I don't think do it the justice that it needs. And you're not going to get the tenor of that. And I'm not great with punctuation. So again, the quote is, and this is a response to somebody asking what this quote meant to me, and the day came when the risk it took to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom by nice, man. Thanks for the question. Hope you enjoy this quote as much as I have
Transcribed by https://otter.ai
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