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Published: Sept. 28, 2022, 11:11 a.m.

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Melissa\\xa0Drake is the author of The Orgasmic Entrepreneur: Discover the Sweet Spot of Love, Sex, and Business by Simply Being YOU, Sacred Medicine Integration: A Companion Journal Supporting Ceremonial Medicine Experiences, and TranscenDANCE: Lessons From Living, Loving, and Dancing.

She\'s also a TEDx Speaker with 25 years of climbing the corporate ranks and a decade of entrepreneurial experience.

Her TEDx Talk, "The Dance of Collaboration," presents fresh insights on the benefits of collectively beneficial collaborations.

As the founder of Uncorped Influence,\\xa0Melissa\\xa0helps like-minded businesses and individuals find solutions and go further than they thought possible.

Connect with Melissa here: https://uncorpedinfluence.com/

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High Lights

The importance of finding out who you are and what you are.

2:56

There\\u2019s a time and a place for fame.

17:19

Stop Fixing Yourself:.

21:38

Who were you before you entered the storm? \\u2013.

28:53

Working with people to address their limiting beliefs first.

37:08

What is our greatest distraction? Fear or doubt?

45:38

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Intro Guy 0:00
Your journey has been an interesting one up to hear you\'ve questioned so much more than those around you. You\'ve even questioned yourself as to how you could have grown into these thoughts. Am I crazy? When did I begin to think differently? Why do people in general, you\'re so limited thought process Rest assured, you are not alone. The world is slowly waking up to what you already know inside yet can\'t quite verbalize. Welcome to the spiritual dough podcast, the show that answers the question you never even knew to ask, but knew the answers to questions about you this world the people in it? Most importantly, how do I proceed? Now moving forward? We don\'t even have all the answers, but we sure do love living in the question. Time for another hit of spiritual with your host, Brandon Handley. Let\'s get right into today\'s episode.

Brandon Handley 0:43
Hey there spiritual dope. I\'m on here today with my special guests, Melissa Drake. And before I launch into even like the bio right, Melissa, thanks for getting your bio. There\'s not too long a. That\'s always nice. Sometimes I get like a full book. And that\'s okay, too. I\'m just we met. We did like an Instagram thing together with Jeremy Snowden. So you and I connected to Jeremy Snowden. And we did like some Instagram work earlier. That\'s right, right. So I think that was last time I didn\'t much work there too. So we connected through there. And it was really cool to connect and see you do your work. And as we all kind of got together to support each other and go through that Instagram challenge. So we met there. And so Melissa is the author of the orgasmic entrepreneur discovered the sweet spot of love, sex and business by simply being you sacred medicine integration, a companion journal supporting ceremonial medicine experiences, and transcend dance lessons from loving, living, and dancing. She\'s also a TEDx speaker with 25 years climbing the corporate ranks and a decade of entrepreneurial experience. Her TEDx talk, the dance of collaboration presents fresh insights on the benefits of collectively beneficial collaborations. As a founder of uncorked influence, Melissa helps like minded businesses and individuals find solutions and go further than they thought possible. You\'re right there. It\'s right there that\'s sacred and perfect. So Melissa, so I look at us as like these conduits for universal energy, call it whatever you want. So here, you and I are. And when we get together on this podcast, we\'ll have a great conversation. But it\'s really for the benefit of the end user they\'re gonna have and listen to this good, they\'re gonna hear something that we\'re not even, we\'re not even talking about, right, like this is gonna, it\'s gonna be a message that can only be delivered through you to them. Right now, what is that message?

Melissa Drake 2:56
Oh, wow. Well, I think the message is related to the conversation and the fact that it\'s all in the moment, and that different people bring up different perspectives of us, and how important it is to really figure out who it is we are, and what we\'re here for, and how we can bring that power. And not necessarily power, but just that essence, to help people. And to, as you said, be that conduit to help people advance in whatever that way is for them. And knowing that it\'s different for every single person.

Brandon Handley 3:38
Yeah, it\'s so great when when you connect with different people, they see you in ways you pletely different Yes, you never imagined right. You\'re like wow, you that\'s what you saw. And you\'re like, I\'ll take it or Whoa. But I think it also illustrates to you how, like, how versatile you actually are, you\'re like, Wow, I never saw myself in that light. And here I am. And this is this is somebody else\'s perception on me. I never even never even thought which I think is which I think is great. And then you know who it is and what we are and you shied away from power. And I think that I think that we get we especially in this space of like spirituality and your mind your P\'s and Q\'s buster. Like you call it. Which word do you pick? I mean power, but I don\'t mean power. I\'m not sure if you\'re familiar with David Hawkins power versus force book.

Melissa Drake 4:37
No, I haven\'t. So really with him as a person but not the book.

Brandon Handley 4:40
Yeah. So I mean, it\'s it is it\'s a dance right? Of Yes. Which words make the right sense, but I think the essence of who you truly are is actually quite powerful, right? And once you\'ve Once you tap into that, like you\'re able to share it and you know, it\'s Get the essence of who you are, is that power that\'s surging through you that you are the conduit for? Right?

Melissa Drake 5:06
Yes, all of us are. And sometimes it\'s really hard to own that power. And when you get in these, these relationships in these conversations, and people reflect that power to you, and they say things like, well, this is who I thought you are. And you\'re like, I didn\'t know that. And it\'s just, I love that continual opening the continual process of figuring out who it is we are. Because I was a person who, before I was 43 years old, I had no idea who I was, I simply did what was expected of me what was told of me what I thought others wanted me to be. And then suddenly, I was like, Oh, this is all a lie. And then just had to completely rebuild myself from the ground up. And I would say somewhat advanced age. And then I look at my son who\'s 26, who never had that issue. He\'s just always been himself. And that was just a beautiful, a beautiful thing.

Brandon Handley 6:11
So it\'s interesting. I always kind of reflect on like, the Bible for one reason, and that\'s like that was talking about, like, the 40 days of this that the other thing and the age of 40. Right, give or take something something happens to us as as humans, right? Yeah. Do we blossom? Do we have, you know, self realization do we have? What do they call an existential crisis? Do we, you know, something happens, right? I think I think that we, as Alan Watts calls it, I think we\'re peopling were playing. And it\'s like, we\'re at a stage where we don\'t recognize but we recognize it like innately, right. So truthfully, we\'re like, we connect with it. So you get to this spot where like, you realize kind of everything\'s a lie, or some necessarily everything is a lie. It\'s like, it\'s not aligned with me. It\'s no longer it\'s no longer aligned with you. And like, you can now like, you realize you can make these choices that you weren\'t making before, right? It\'s kind of what it sounds like. And that\'s exactly it. Yeah. Right. And then it\'s like, and then you start to realize that like, Well, yeah, walk walk us through, like even recognizing that space, like, was there something leading up to that for you? And then, you know, what happened during that transition? Right? Or, you know, what happened during that transformation?

Melissa Drake 7:47
Okay, so yeah, Something definitely happened to me, a lot of things actually happened to me. And it wasn\'t until the universe hit me upside the head with a two by four that I finally woke up to it, like, I spent a lot of times to severely depressed. So much so that I rarely got out of bed. I lost both of my parents in the same year, my son went away to college. And then I got really, really sick with two really horrible, concurrent illnesses. And then I was like, Okay, so maybe it\'s time for me to do things a little differently. And I started, that\'s when I actually started dancing. And that\'s what helped bring me to life and understand what was going on in my world. And then I lost my corporate job after 25 years. And so I had like this perfect storm of really not so great things happen to me. But I call it the blessing that wasn\'t even in disguise, because suddenly I had a clean slate. And I could make new choices and do what I wanted to do instead of what was expected, or what I had always done. And so it was really a beautiful opening, that didn\'t look or feel so beautiful at the time. But it was an awesome opportunity for me to just say, who am I? What am I here for? And what do I want to do? And when I lost my job, I was like, I want to write, I\'ve always been a writer in some capacity. And I want to help end the stigma of mental illness. And that was, that was my focus. And I have curated my, my life and my career around that focus. Had I not lost my job? I\'m not sure that would have happened.

Brandon Handley 9:38
Right. Yeah. I mean, I think that I think that um, I think that that\'s always the case, right? Not always the case. But it\'s often the case where you\'re like, What do you mean my job at 25 years is gone. There\'s probably like, a little bit of anger, a little bit of resentment, even with your parents, even with your parents passing to like, yeah, you guys still need you like, what do you think? What do you think you\'re going for?

Melissa Drake 10:00
Yeah, and I felt so young to be an orphan. I mean, I wasn\'t even 40 yet. And to not have parents was wasn\'t challenged.

Brandon Handley 10:07
Yeah. And then and then all at the same time, you\'ve got your son going to school too, which is like, you\'ve done this thing you\'ve probably identified with being this mother and being the ER and all these things, and you have all these identities being ripped away.

Melissa Drake 10:24
They were and they were also a distraction. Like, they kept me from looking at who I was, because I was codependent ly taking care of everyone else. And then suddenly, all I had was me staring at myself in the mirror being severely sick. So I was an easy choice at that point.

Brandon Handley 10:42
Are you able to talk about this sickness illness? Either that\'s

Melissa Drake 10:48
kind of gross like to have the worst illnesses you could possibly have one was related to my menstrual situation and which cropped up out of nowhere. I had to have a full hysterectomy to rectify that. And the other was I undiagnosed digestive disease that caused me to lose 110 pounds in nine months. Wow. Wow. So

Brandon Handley 11:09
those two combos,

Melissa Drake 11:10
like those are two of them, you know, just really, it\'s happening at the same time. And it really knocked me out. Yeah,

Brandon Handley 11:20
yeah. So I mean, you you\'re like, everything\'s just quite literally gone to shit. Like, it\'s like, it was a big, right, like, you\'re like, I don\'t even like my wife is always like, she\'d be like, I couldn\'t possibly like she was like, I couldn\'t possibly. So I mean, literally, like, this is like, nine months, I\'m sure like, I couldn\'t possibly but like everyday, you kept getting back up and charged and forth. And kind of getting through it. To explain to me like this dancing, like, you know what type of dancing is like, doing in here that\'s helping you through this.

Melissa Drake 11:53
So I, I met some people online. And we just happen to like the same dance club. And we started going to this dance club, I started a group of women and one of the things I noticed is that when I\'m dancing, I\'m in my body. And I have spent so much of my time up here around and dissociated. So I didn\'t even realize that at the time that when I was dancing, I was grounding. And I was being present, it\'s one of the few times where I\'m actually present and in my body. And that was actually the healing modality, I thought it was dance, I thought it was the club. And it really isn\'t either of those things. It\'s its presence, it\'s being embodied, and just being in the moment. And so when I, I lived in Iowa at the time, and so when I lived there, it was all about going to the club, and they only open on the weekends and all that good stuff. And then when I moved to California, there\'s all sorts of new opportunities here. One being ecstatic dance, which is just where everyone\'s in their own little world, doing whatever they just moving, like literally moving, shaking your body getting the energy out of your system. And that is such a powerful healing modality and because it\'s, you\'re obviously present, but you\'re also releasing the trauma and the sort of energy in your body at the same time. And that was, that still is today one of the most advanced healing modalities that I have. And I\'m, I\'ve done nearly all of them, especially in California, there\'s so many fun things to do and try here.

Brandon Handley 13:29
Yeah, it\'s all available there. Right? It\'s all available. And you\'re like, like you said, You\'re right outside of LA. So you got you got access to, to the stars. Um, so, you know, talk to me a little bit about, you got a couple of books out, right. You know, talk to me about what you\'re writing, what you\'ve written, and a little bit about what went into those.

Melissa Drake 13:55
Thank you. Sure. So the first book transcendence, I actually, I started taking private dance lessons to learn how to be led, because I like to kind of be in charge and be controlling sometimes. And so what I what I learned through that was that it was the best therapy I ever had, I\'ll just say that it was literally the best therapy I ever had. And I likened it to being led by the universe, our life, there\'s one big dance with the universe. And so what happens when the universe gives you a job loss after 25 years? How would you continue that dance with life? And how do you get up and flow and just learning about the energy between dance partners and then bigger with with God or the universe as your dance partner? What does that look like? And so the the real theme of that book is allowing the universe to lead your dance with life. And when it doesn\'t look so great. How do you manage that? And then the next book that I wrote. And interestingly, the very day I uploaded transcendence, I lost a very lucrative client. And so I had the opportunity then to test the theories, which is, how am I going to let the universe lead this stance, which led me to the next book, the orgasmic entrepreneur, which started with a theory I had about data, who was listening to a podcast and this man was talking about data and how important it was and how it shows people how that how you care, and that he was very meticulous, even referred to data as a love language. And I thought, I bet data geeks are the best lovers. Because they\'re always looking for the sweet spot. And growing up in direct mail, I know that even when you find the sweet spot, you never stop looking to improve your results. And so that\'s kind of how the idea for that one started. And it\'s really a look at the the relationship between business and intimacy. But the final thru line of that book is about being yourself in every aspect. So whether you\'re on a date or your lunch with a friend, you\'re with your family, or you\'re doing business, are you showing up as you are? Are you being yourself? Are you being authentic? And are you being vulnerable? And that matters, that you know who you are. Because if you don\'t know who you are, it can show up as you. And one thing that\'s particularly important, I think, in today\'s world is that we all have this online persona. And does that match with who you are as a person, I had a client that I worked with for five years before I actually met them in person. And she said to me, You are the same person, online as you are here in my presence. That was my favorite compliment. Like she was just really, really powerful to me and versus in the corporate world where I was one person at work, which is highly productive, highly successful person. And then at home, I spent seven years in bed. I I mean, I literally went to work. And then I came home went to bed. And that\'s it. So there was zero integration of my life.

Brandon Handley 17:19
And I always I liken that to the matrix, right. There\'s there\'s Neo, and Mr. Anderson, right. We have this book on you, Mr. Anderson. So like, you\'re you\'re this person productive, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Right. And Eric, could be anybody. Right? Yes. Yeah. You\'re a cog? Yes. And, ya know, you go in, and you and you do do good. And then like, you go home, and it\'s like, you\'ve got the sun, nothing. Well, you\'ve got nothing and or you\'ve got this whole other life that you really, really want. And it\'s like, yeah, it\'s like, never there. Yeah. And so, yeah, that\'s, I mean, that\'s powerful. Right. But I love that. You, you have this online presence that you\'re talking about, and being that person through and through everywhere you go. Yeah, I think you know, you love to hear your opinion. I think there\'s a time and a place to kind of and maybe not, man, because we\'ve done it for so long. This, this, you got to be this person and go do that thing. And you\'ll get these results and like you go and you do it, but like it maybe you do get the results, but what\'s the cost

Melissa Drake 18:40
to fame? So it\'s important. Is

Brandon Handley 18:43
there still a place for it? Is there still a place for for that? Do you feel like maybe you need it all that shit to get to where you are today?

Melissa Drake 18:50
100% I, I\'m embarrassed to admit it. But 100% I needed that shit. Because like the I think it\'s Oprah\'s quote that the universe will send you messages and you know, whispers they start as a whisper. And if you don\'t listen, you\'ll ultimately get a screen. And I needed this screen to wake up. Yeah, so I definitely needed I don\'t regret it.

Brandon Handley 19:15
But or call you and tell you that. Hey, girl.

Melissa Drake 19:23
No, she hasn\'t called me yet. Not yet. But the but the last book that I wrote that I\'m really happy about. And I wrote it in collaboration with other people is sacred medicine integration. And that was something after I wrote the other two that I really kind of delve into plant medicine. And the thing about plant medicine is that you get some really beautiful insights and you learn things about yourself and about the environment and about the collective consciousness. But if you don\'t take the time have to sit with and integrate those things and actually take action on what you learn. It doesn\'t really matter. Like it just kind of goes in and out and you get you get stuck in a loop. And my first medicine experience was combo. And we had a lot of people in one room,

Brandon Handley 20:21
what is that I\'m sorry,

Melissa Drake 20:23
I\'m sorry, combo is a it\'s a it\'s a frog poison. And they actually like pierce your skin. It\'s almost like a cigarette burn on your skin. And then they apply this, this combo. And it instantly drains your your system. It\'s an energetic and physical purge. So you instantly start throwing up, like it\'s just

Brandon Handley 20:50
gonna give you somebody that,

Melissa Drake 20:52
you know exactly. Well, you know, that\'s interesting, who would sign up for this? And I\'ll tell you that the first day I was there, and we\'re going around the room, and everybody\'s talking about why they\'re there and why they signed up. And one of the gentlemen said, I\'m doing this because I\'m better me is better for everyone. And I thought, how cool is that, like that? There are people that are really willing to do this work so that they\'re better not just for themselves, and not because they want to manifest money or whatever. But to be better people. Yeah. And so it\'s, it\'s a really great cleanse for your body and for your energy, and for your mind, all of those things. And I\'ve done, I\'ve done Bufo as well and psilocybin, and those medicines.

Brandon Handley 21:38
You got the you got the South, you got the South California connection. I do SoCal connect, I do. So you know, I would love to do a couple things here, right. Let\'s hit on that for a second. I\'m going through a book right now. Oh, my God. That\'s each book called stop fixing yourself. Right? In my question, is this right? And, you know, either way, it doesn\'t really matter. Are we trying to get better? Or are we trying to discover the truth of who we are?

Melissa Drake 22:15
I think we\'re trying to discover the truth of who we are. But it\'s under the guise of getting better. Because we and I\'ll tell you, I love the title of that book. Because I worked really hard at fixing myself for a couple of years, only to find out that I\'m not really broken that I\'m fine. And it\'s really important. For somebody else, no, no, not at all. Not at all. No, thank you for that. No. It\'s really more about accepting the parts of ourselves that we don\'t necessarily like the dark the shadow shadow work. Yeah. So it\'s, it\'s not wrong. It\'s not bad. It\'s just needs to be integrated. It needs to be seen and heard and acknowledged and accepted. It\'s not something I was like, oh, let\'s fix it in like a surgical team. Let\'s just let\'s just get rid of it. And that\'s how it works.

Brandon Handley 23:11
Right? Ya know, and that\'s super powerful. To really accept yourself truly, wholly and fully, so that you can operate at 100% versus like, I\'m not this 50% This this baggage is no good for me. Right. But I\'m hauling it everywhere I go anyways. Yes, exactly. Yeah. Yeah,

Melissa Drake 23:34
exactly. It\'s exhausting.

Brandon Handley 23:36
Let\'s talk about I have never had frog poison. I\'ve never Bufo I don\'t know. Let\'s talk about like the differences. And I think what I would love to hear is what are you learning from these different plant medicines? Right like yeah, what\'s your what are the set and settings you have to let\'s let\'s get down into that because all right, we got frog poison. Which is like you\'re showing up to throw up?

Melissa Drake 24:09
Yes, you are.

Brandon Handley 24:12
Bufo is what was it the empty? Okay. Is that crystallizing, you\'re smoking it or is it something else? Okay, so that\'s like the 10 minute trip businessman. So

Melissa Drake 24:24
about 20 gap. It\'s about 20

Brandon Handley 24:28
to 20 minutes, shrooms psilocybin, we don\'t want to call it surance because they\'re always like up in arms these days. Go ahead. And LSD mescaline? Not yet. Yeah. So they are on the they are on the to do list. Got it.

Melissa Drake 24:53
So it presents itself Yes.

Brandon Handley 24:57
I\'m sure that you\'re in South LA area. They will present itself

Melissa Drake 25:02
safely, safely and in a proper setting setting. Right. Right for me is always a ceremony.

Brandon Handley 25:09
So there\'s a there\'s a woman I read her quite a few of her books. Listen to him actually. Florence Scovel. SHINN? Yes. Yes. With with grace and imperfect ways. So so there you go. Oh, that? Yes. So yeah, walk me through, I guess like, what are these ceremonies looking like? And what are you getting out of? What do you feel like? Which ones are having like, the greatest impact on you how they helped me along the journey? Yatta Yatta, yatta.

Melissa Drake 25:37
Okay, so every one is different. Every ceremony is different, every experience is different. And they all kind of work together. So when, when I do boufal, it\'s, it\'s combo first. And then they kind of go together. As far as when I\'m learning. All sorts of things like a lot of first of all, the masculine feminine integration, being able to integrate those two sides of myself. And as with everything, it\'s a process, it\'s not a one and done kind of thing. It\'s, you have the insights you\'ve worked through. I specifically designed questions to help journal, what what are the insights that you got from the medicine and I have written just pages and pages, every time I get out of ceremony, I spend the entire next day writing about what came up for me what visions I had, how I felt, what the experience was like, there was a lot of information related to generational trauma. I even had some suspected, repressed trauma come up as well. And just, you know, to spending time with myself, questioning what happened. And then really journaling on that and what that means. And I\'ve had family members read my journals, after ceremony, and one, my one of my cousins, who\'s read all of my books said, I\'ve never related to anything, you\'ve written more than this. Just because there were so much related to my family and the way that I grew up and how it impacted me. But I would say any kind of medicine and I even have, like, I\'m really sensitive to medicine, so I even have an out of body experience when it comes to cannabis. Like I just have these crazy, crazy insights. But whenever I do medicine, for me personally, it\'s always like the files in my brain are shuffled, arranged. And I\'m perfectly stored. So much so that I can\'t stop laughing, because I\'m so grateful for it. Like, all the bad stuff, the shitstorm that we talked about earlier, I\'m like, oh, okay, I see. Now, I see how that\'s connected. And how that led me here. And how this connected me to that. And it\'s just this, this beauty that I can\'t unsee and I just feel so together. I feel like everything makes sense when I do medicine.

Brandon Handley 28:11
Tell me just tell me a little bit about your corporate life. Like what was your role there?

Melissa Drake 28:19
I had many, many roles. I started as a, like a data entry clerk at low, low level, and I worked up to being a director who recorded to the CEO,

Brandon Handley 28:29
my direct mail business,

Melissa Drake 28:32
insurance, actually. And so direct mail was a large part of that. My last role with him was for 10 years I did competitive intelligence and also partnerships. So that\'s, in large part where my TEDx talk on collaboration came from. And yeah, gotcha.

Brandon Handley 28:53
It\'s always interesting, right to see. What\'s, what\'s the approach to the experience of the plant medicine is right, like so what? What and who were you before you entered the storm?

Melissa Drake 29:10
Yes. And I\'ll tell you that, that my son is the one who opened my mind to medicine in the first place. When he was a youngster, younger than he should have been. He was telling me about these medicines or his plants, and saying, you know, really important people have used them to open their mind. Sure, and they\'re really successful now. And I was like, huh, and I didn\'t judge him. I didn\'t get angry. I was just I, I consider I didn\'t get high till I was 43 years old. So these were things that I just I never would have considered

Brandon Handley 29:44
at all right, right. Well, and listen, it\'s it\'s interesting. I think that the headlines that are out there right now, eliminating some of the fear behind, you know, what we\'ve been, you know, taught up until like this point, you know, drugs are bad. Okay, type of thing would now it\'s like,

Melissa Drake 30:09
alright, well, John Does our bags.

Unknown Speaker 30:13
What if we

Melissa Drake 30:14
are a different story? Sure.

Brandon Handley 30:16
Like what? And not for nothing like 90% and almost all the drugs are out there derived from some type of plant based so there\'s there\'s generally a plant that does like what that, you know, can do when, you know you have this approach, so we\'re like, it\'s it is, again, plant medicine even kind of absolves like this other barrier right to that drug. I\'m not taking drugs, man, I\'m nothing. This is plant medicine, y\'all. Right, right. Right. And so, you know, which, which is great. I\'d love to hear you. There\'s a couple, I\'d love to hear sounds, you said you had some generational trauma came up for you. I would love to understand like, what was the setting and the space that was there for you. So that you could be safe that you felt safe in that space? Absolutely.

Melissa Drake 31:17
So it was actually just really beautiful and serendipitous the way that it worked out, I went to a ceremony and I ran into a woman who I just felt really compelled to talk to. And she happened to be there with her son who was there. He has the same name as my son and is the same age as my son. And he had been dealing with addiction and spent five years in the jungle learning these medicines. And so he was the person who administered them for me, and his mother was there and his father was there. So I also had, you know, in addition to having this, this person with direct experience with the medicine with the tribes, his family was there. And so it was almost like not almost it was like, he was a by proxy for my son. She was my mom, he was my mom. So it was almost like a family constellation at the same time. And it was it was in a private home. It was a private ceremony. It was very, very beautiful. And the way that it was was set. And the way that I was cared for the way that I was loved. It was it was just, it was an amazing, amazing experience

Brandon Handley 32:36
here because I think that that\'s really important to make sure that you know, not only do you have somebody that is well versed in what they\'re doing, yes. Not just somebody who\'s been like, I took turns like five times I\'m ready. Let\'s do this. Let\'s do this, y\'all, everybody, everybody. And then and then have like, you have that space created for you. So if and I don\'t know, like if you had the generational trauma, like if there was a breakdown for you or not, right? Well, there was lots of breakdowns. So making sure that like, you know, I\'ve heard of I think events where there\'s so much like too many people, right, trying to get

Melissa Drake 33:20
my first one there were 40 people in a room, it was way too many people like way, way, way too much. But also, that\'s what caused me to write the book because the shamans are the people delivering the medicine, the medicine is their specialty. But there needs to be integration afterwards. So how do you help people with an integration and do it in a way that is feasible for everyone? We even have a free download of the book with the questions for people to access so that they can get

Brandon Handley 33:51
it right. Like I mean, you know, integration agreed. I think that everybody\'s everybody\'s in agreement that integration is essential to plant medicine experience. Let\'s talk about let\'s use your generational trauma one as an example, like how did you integrate some of those lessons in your life? What did you do to integrate the lessons he took away from that?

Melissa Drake 34:18
So the workbook is designed to actually pull out those questions. There\'s, there\'s a whole series of questions, and then a 30 day action plan. So the first thing for me for integration is just taking the time for myself, to go through the questions to spend all that and I\'ve even used these questions for things like I went on a wellness retreat last year where there was no medicine involved, but it was still really powerful. The experience was powerful enough that I needed to spend the time to integrate that. So just from and because I\'m a writer, journaling is what comes easy to me. If you know that There are many ways to integrate. And I also have a community that I talk to about and share the writings with and communicate with.

Brandon Handley 35:13
So what would an example, one or two examples be of those questions?

Melissa Drake 35:19
Well, let\'s just, let\'s just pull it up and see what? Sure. So it\'s, it\'s designed into there\'s before ceremony. And some of the questions are what are you committed to an honoring through this medicine work? pure intent means you believe it, what do you intend to shift through this work? What constructed limitations would you like to address through the medicine? A constructed limitation is like a limiting belief that something you believe that is not actually true. For example, believing I\'m not good enough is limited. In an actuality, every single person is made of the same magic with the same potential as another, therefore, this belief is constructed. So going into the ceremony before you even go, what is it that you want to want to do? What do you want to curtail? What do you want to grow? What will you say when you achieve the healing you desire right now? And then my, my favorite ones, right before so that\'s when you sign up? Because the ceremony begins when you sign up, right? And then right before the medicine you ask what what\'s the healing that you came for? What are you ready for? Speak to your higher self, your best friend, your soul, the energy is ready to support you help is available, because you ask what will you ask for? So it\'s basically like a really intense intention setting, a lot of people will set intention before they do medicine, but just really delving into an I will say that we wrote this after having completed a I think it was about 14 week, NLP training neuro linguistic programming. So the questions were designed specifically, to help make sure that the words the beliefs and the actions are all aligned.

Brandon Handley 37:08
Yeah, no, that\'s, I mean, it\'s powerful to combine. You know, all that psychology with with these this work, right? You know, not, not just not just oh, it\'s just my higher self, man, we\'re cool, man. It\'s like, you know, hey, let\'s, let\'s, let\'s, let\'s leverage some of what we\'ve learned over the past 100 years, give or take on, like, what\'s working? And, yes, how can we get in there? And, you know, we\'ll say, it\'s not surgical with the mind. But it\'s kind of is, but you because you get in there and you are like, you\'re like that if you do this work before ceremony. And you\'re really like, you do the work. And then you get in there ceremonies like atom bomb on that shit, like,

Melissa Drake 38:03
yes, yes. And my my belief, like, what I really want to do is work with people to address their because essentially, we get what we believe, right? So if you go into ceremony, believing that you\'re going to get the healing you need, believing that you\'re going to be helped, that you\'re going to be built, guess what you will be, if you think it\'s just a pain, then that\'s what you\'re gonna get. And so I ideally want to set up a system so that people are receiving treatment for their limiting beliefs first, so that they\'re set up and primed and ready for the healing to be really effective. Like you said, to just drop a bomb on it and then have the most positive impact that you can.

Brandon Handley 38:46
Yeah. I love it. Definitely great stuff. You gotta have doing doing that. I think ahead of time is a primo. Yes. Good stuff. So all right, I go in there. I do my I do my pre work. I\'m geared up. I go in there. I have an amazing experience. What happens next? What do I do? Like and by amazing experience, I\'m like, I was in there. I was like, surgical commander, like my mind was my mind and I owned it.

Melissa Drake 39:16
So for me, my amazing experience is rolling around on the ground and puking and screaming and crying and laughing and

Brandon Handley 39:25
no, you can keep that one that is mine. Around a vomit, that\'s a promise. I intend to keep. So amazing experience whatever that means to you. And then you know, what is the integration starts to look like right? So what happens?

Melissa Drake 39:45
Number one is rest. Come home and rest. Meditate, breathe, be present. I like to spend time in water whether that\'s the pool or the hot tub and ocean. Rounding. walking barefoot on the earth is a beautiful thing. aim. And then for me, I usually start the next day writing, I spent an entire day writing. And then the book is actually designed to for every day, too, because a lot of times, I mean, I\'ll get the bulk of what happens the next day. But a lot of times, the insights don\'t come until days later or weeks later. And so just monitor, I\'m a huge documentation freak, as you can imagine, as a writer. So just writing what came up for me like, oh, okay, maybe this is related. And, you know, you get these just little segments of insights over time, and then just keeping track of them. Yeah. And the other thing that\'s interesting, so I always do my journaling online, and I do a save as the prior version. And it\'s really interesting to see the growth, because the questions are designed, like you get all of this stuff out, right? You document everything. And then at the end, you know, like, what are the learnings you get, you know, for me, it\'s like, between five and 10 bullet points where I can really segment these are the learnings that I got. And what\'s really interesting to see is from one journey to the next, how the learnings evolve over time, and how I can tell I have learned from what I did last time, or this this last one that I did after a mushroom journey was okay, this is the same thing, like I\'m still in the same spot, like I had the same same learning which is good because it\'s, you know, it\'s a process that I\'m, I\'m learning more about that. But also this is this is an area where I need more exploration. And so that we have a couple of different versions of this book. This one is designed so that you can do 11 journeys in one book. So all of your stuff is in one place.

Brandon Handley 41:51
Should it be like once a month take a month off like I mean, what\'s that? You know,

Melissa Drake 41:56
witness not for me to decide. That isn\'t

Brandon Handley 41:59
so yeah, I mean, is there a recommendation on like, how long you

Melissa Drake 42:06
know individual Yeah, it\'s very individual I would say that it\'s up to the person and the shaman like for me personally in it in two years time I\'ve done maybe 10 journeys all together what would

Brandon Handley 42:24
you say like a couple of things that you\'ve learned that you don\'t feel like you would have learned without the assistance of plant medicine

Melissa Drake 42:35
the number one thing is the ability to see how connected everything is and how amazingly supported we are by by things known and not known seen in that scene felt and felt and just knowing that that were okay. And one of the things that I wrote many years ago after after the first time I got high was the beautiful intention of every single thing like we think there\'s this conspiracy that everybody\'s out to get us and it\'s really just the opposite that conspiracy is everything set up for us. Yeah, and everything\'s happening perfectly that\'s the number one thing like I said all the all the files are filing in my brain and I\'m like, Oh, this is so beautiful. Even the mess is beautiful.

Brandon Handley 43:22
Yeah, yeah, there\'s a there\'s a really good book on like, kind of chaos theory. Even even like as chaos evolves and does it saying it creates a beautiful pattern? Yes, yes. So so um, in and so you know, it\'s like, you get this you get this knowing what can I do with that

Melissa Drake 43:53
well, tell me what you mean by knowing like knowing you need to do medicine or knowing from the medicine

Brandon Handley 43:58
I\'m in the medicine and I feel amazingly supported that like you know, I\'ve got the support and I have this knowing this innate knowing what does that do for me?

Melissa Drake 44:10
So for me personally, I move different when I know that I\'m protected I don\'t move in fear I don\'t move without I don\'t move. With hesitation I move with grace. I move with ease. I move with with understanding I move knowing that I\'m supported. It\'s like when a little kid is jumping off the edge of the pool and he knows his dad is going to catch them he just runs and jumps in versus oh my god, I don\'t know what I\'m gonna do and so you just move differently. When when you No,

Brandon Handley 44:46
no, that\'s perfect. Right? And this space does grace and ease and understanding in the space of like this knowing does know that calming because you\'ve been in supportive environments to enhance like that. That Well, 100% money. Yeah, absolutely.

Melissa Drake 45:09
I think the medicine does part of that. But I will tell you that seven setting does as much, if not more, just knowing that people that I was with, I could feel their hearts. I know they were there for me. I know they were supporting me. It wasn\'t about money. In fact, it was completely donation based, and they would have done it for free if I didn\'t have the money. So just Yeah, that\'s the people the set the setting. That\'s huge. Absolutely.

Brandon Handley 45:38
That\'s awesome. Right. And I think that that that\'s a big takeaway, right? I mean, agrees II. Grace, ease understanding translates really into a confidence, right? Yes. Yes. To like, you know, moving forward. encouraged. Yes. So I love it. I love it. All right. Well, cool. We are kind of at a spot which I like to I like I like in these podcasts. Most it\'s a little bit too, like spiritual speed dating. Right, but somebody\'s gonna somebody\'s gonna tune in this podcast, you\'re gonna gonna be like, You know what, Melissa has to be my next spiritual date. Right. So, in that vein, let me ask you a couple questions here. He didn\'t want some new questions like alive, right. Spiritual Bachelorette number one. What is our greatest distraction?

Melissa Drake 46:39
Fear? Absolutely. For me, personally, I know that it has been fear I get caught up in what if it doesn\'t work out? What if what you know, when I when I move with the knowing there is no distraction, there is only inspiration, there is only just being guided by my internal guidance system. And when I\'m worried about fear, or when I\'m not present, I would say that\'s probably even a bigger distraction, which is fear based. If I\'m not present, I\'m either worried about the past, or I\'m worried about the future. And just, you know, looking at all the shiny things, instead of being like, Wow, look how grateful I am for what I have right now in this moment.

Brandon Handley 47:30
Sure. Sure, that\'s, I mean, that\'s a great one, would you say? Is it fear or doubt, right?

Melissa Drake 47:38
Good distinction. They\'re not the same. But they\'re very similar. And I would say both. And I would also say that they\'re both limiting beliefs.

Brandon Handley 47:59
And I think this is an opportunity for, you know, looking for faith of some type, right? Like you you mentioned, I think way in the beginning of the story, you\'re like, hit a guy will show me shit. All right. Let\'s do this. Faith, I don\'t know and what but like, you know, I\'ve got this theory. Here\'s the thing. I believe that is going to show up in this in this kind of manner, right? Yes. Okay. All right. Spiritual. Bachelorette number one. Hoo, doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo. Why is there poverty and suffering in the world?

Melissa Drake 48:43
Because people don\'t know or understand their power, because they don\'t have that knowing because they don\'t have the confidence. Because they\'re, they\'re afraid. And I will tell you that I\'ve had my own poverty and my own suffering. And it\'s directly related to a lack of belief in myself, and a lack of belief in the universe and a lack of belief in the people who support me. And when tapped into that, you know, when I\'m tapped into that knowing, suffering and poverty is doesn\'t even show up on my radar at all.

Brandon Handley 49:26
How does that look for someone who\'s in the middle of it? Right? I think that\'s a real big challenge

Melissa Drake 49:31
is a huge challenge. So

Brandon Handley 49:35
if you Yeah, like, I mean, the question is, like, what if you showed up and told yourself, you know, hey, don\'t worry, everything\'s gonna be fine. While you were in this poverty and suffering state, what would you have said to yourself, right?

Melissa Drake 49:47
Well, that\'s still the truth, even when I\'m in in that mess. Like when I lost my job and didn\'t have any idea what I was going to do. The truth was, the truth is, and always will be It\'s gonna be fine. Sometimes we don\'t want to hear that. But it is true. And I would say like, when you\'re going through it, the best thing you can do is just have someone by your side to support you and to see you and witness you and not try to fix it or solve it. But just be there with you until you\'re ready to come out. And my my son is an amazing example of that. Jeremy is an amazing example of that, of someone who just allows me to, because we kind of have to come to terms on our own time, no one can solve the problem for us. So just someone to witness what you\'re experiencing, and allow that to unfold in the way that is best because like I said earlier, it\'s great. We\'re gonna make it or we\'re not and that\'s okay, too. You know, I would say like,

Brandon Handley 50:54
listen, listen, I\'m all in, right? I\'m all in. And sometimes I might get the universe level. And here\'s the here\'s the funny thing, right? You know, here, here we are. We\'re on a, a tiny little ball in the middle of the universe. It\'s like perfectly suited for us to live, breathe, eat people. And we don\'t think you know, and and never, never, like, you know, never like you never, like wake up one day and be like, oh, man, the Earth is out of gas. I can\'t, I can\'t go to people today. My car, my earth isn\'t ready. Right? Like, you know, it\'s always it\'s always available. And you\'re use yourself, you pump blood, you create blood cells, you grow hair, you breathe in your sleep, and you do it all in your sleep without even like now we\'re doing and you don\'t trust that the universe kind of has your back to like, I don\'t know, lining you up with something that doesn\'t suck. Yeah, that\'s on you. Right. Like, that\'s because, again, like, you will get what you look for. Yes. Right. And so retraining yourself to look for those things the

Melissa Drake 52:13
right, it\'s the retraining. That\'s it. And I will tell you, sometimes we\'re more comfortable in the mess because that\'s always known.

Brandon Handley 52:21
We get double you know, right. Like, you may have like this big shit show of a mess, but it\'s your my shit show I run this big know how to operate. Yeah, right. Right. Right. And so it\'s like, All right, well, you don\'t have to, but like, not just the fear of something worse out there. There\'s something we\'re sure there\'s always something worse out there. But like, you know, I don\'t know. You make your way through it. So, so great to have you on one real quick question, right? Collab collaborative AF, what\'s happening behind me here? It\'s just like, so I mean, what, what, what is what is on the board? For those of you that are listening, she\'s got a board up behind her says, I\'m gonna say it looks like collaborative AF. So like, you are

Melissa Drake 53:07
absolutely 100%. Right. So when I, when I released my TEDx talk, which is about collaboration, I decided my business name was going to be collaborative AF. So I did keep that for a couple of years, and then I transition to something else. So that\'s just my my old branding that you\'re looking at, but it\'s still

Brandon Handley 53:25
like, not not AF. No, I\'m

Melissa Drake 53:29
absolutely collaborative as my my new business platform is uncorked influence as in not corporate, but having that corporate foundation.

Brandon Handley 53:41
So, you know, where can people go to find out more about that?

Melissa Drake 53:45
On corporate influence un Corp, Edie? influence.com, that\'s my instagram handle and my website as well.

Brandon Handley 53:55
Who would you say is like your ideal like client, like who should be they should be reaching out to you.

Melissa Drake 54:02
So primarily, I work with authors who tell stories. And so anyone, literally everyone has a book in them. But it\'s not so much about writing the book. One thing that I have found is that writing a book is one of the best healing modalities available to mankind. You will find all of your stuff when you write about your book. And so I\'m the person that\'s going to be that safe space to support you through that vulnerable, share. And also package your book, edit it and make sure that it looks beautiful, and it\'s ready for the world.

Brandon Handley 54:36
Awesome. Melissa, thank you so much for being on today.

Melissa Drake 54:38
Thank you. It was very fun. I appreciated the conversation.

Intro Guy 54:43
Really hope you enjoyed this episode of the spiritual dove podcast. Stay connected with us directly through spiritual dove.co. You can also join the discussion on Facebook, spiritual and Instagram and spiritual underscore Joe. If you would like to speak with us, send us an email there Brandon at Spirit Waldo Darko and as always thank you for cultivating your mindset and creating a better reality this includes the most thought provoking part of your day Don\'t forget to like and subscribe to stay fully up to date until next time be kind to yourself and trust your intuition

Transcribed by https://otter.ai

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