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Intro Guy 0:00
Your journey has been an interesting one up to hear you\'ve questioned so much more than those around you. You\'ve even questioned yourself as to how you could have grown into these thoughts. Am I crazy? When did I begin to think differently? Why do people in general you\'re so limited thought process Rest assured, you are not alone. The world is slowly waking up to what you already know inside yet can\'t quite verbalize. Welcome to the spiritual dough podcast, the show that answers the question you never even knew to ask, but knew the answers to questions about you this world the people in it? Most importantly, how do I proceed? Now moving forward? We don\'t even have all the answers, but we sure do love living in the question. Time for another hit of spiritual with your host Brandon Handley. Let\'s get right into today\'s episode.

Brandon Handley 0:43
Hey there spiritual dope. I\'m on here today with Kiersten Parsons Hathcock author of little voices. How kids and Spirit helped a reluctant medium escape and heal from abuse is an award winning self taught carpenter furniture designer and founder of Maude mom furniture, a kid\'s furniture company found featured on ABC Shark Tank. She\'s also a TEDx speaker, and intuitive medium who works for the National Institute for Law and Justice helping detectives and families uncover truth in missing persons and homicide cases. In her previous work life Kiersten was a staff writer for Northern Arizona University and TV marketing executive for AMI TV network. And it\'s your channel. Like I hear scurrying next to my door like somebody\'s gonna come in. An Ohio native, she now resides in Phoenix, Arizona with her husband, Scott, daughters, Natalie and Grace, and pup, Scout.\\xa0 Yeah, sure. So how are you? It\'s been a minute, I think. I think we\'ve been on the schedule for a while now. So so glad that you\'re on today.

Kiersten 1:48
Thank you so much. I\'m really happy to be here. And we talked a

Brandon Handley 1:51
little bit about, you know, how are we connected? Right. And we just talked about Katie Beecher, who was on the podcast before was in your book, and she said, hey, you know, check out check out spiritual dope, see what\'s going on? She\'s fantastic. And somehow I made it past your bullshit filter and hearing. And here we are. Given given the circumstances, that\'s right, that\'s right. Well, so you know, look, I like to start these off with the whole idea of and you\'re obviously open to this is that you and I, we\'re conduits for like universal energy, right. And also the whole idea that you and I are gonna have a conversation with each other. And we\'ll, we\'ll think we\'re understanding what we\'re saying to each other. And that\'d be pretty cool. But like somebody else is going to be listening in that has like, a totally different take on what we\'re saying. And it\'s a totally different understanding. And there\'s a message coming through you today to that person. What\'s that message?

Kiersten 2:52
It\'s a, it\'s a big message. Actually, as you read in the book, it\'s a big message. So the message firm, that that I, the reason I wanted to write the book, when we just start there is because I really wanted to help skeptics, and also other domestic violence survivors, like myself, kind of learn to maybe open themselves a little bit to intuition. And I know I\'m speaking to the choir here with you. But my journey has, it\'s been strange. It\'s a stranger than than fiction memoir, that\'s for sure. I grew up in Ohio, very grounded. I, you know, I built a furniture company, I went on Shark Tank, you know, I did all the stuff that you normally would do, you know, with business and career and family. But then when I was 36, I sort of got hit over the head with intuition, in the form of mediumship. And it changed my life in very big ways. And it also helped save my life, which is why I wrote the book.

Brandon Handley 3:51
In Thank you, right, I think that, you know, not only just opening yourself up to intuition, because I think intuition, we all kind of, I would say understand intuition. It\'s just kind of like, Oh, I\'ve got a gut feeling. Right? Yeah. When you\'re saying intuition, you\'re talking to spirits, right? I mean, that\'s you specifically and the mediumship. And I just want to make sure that, you know, hey, cool, if it\'s working, awesome. Like, use it. Don\'t Don\'t ignore it, right? Like you\'re hearing something in your mind that\'s like, Hey, don\'t go down that alley. And you\'re like, who are you? And it\'s like, you know, some other attachments to it. And there\'s some pieces in the book too, I\'d love for us to cover like that led you to go ahead and follow that intuition and kind of where it led you but like, you hear voices, and you listen to them, and you talk with them. And, you know, I think that you\'d mentioned you know, you\'re like am I schizophrenic in the book and schizophrenic. Right. So

Kiersten 4:50
I went down every single road, you know, they can go down a psychological standpoint, but yeah,

Brandon Handley 4:55
right. Right. Well, because you know, as far as we know, As far as you know, like, that\'s not right. Right? Well, I suppose there\'s like, I didn\'t get a manual that said, you know, in fourth grade, you know, if you be ready for this,

Kiersten 5:10
yes. Or at 36, you ready for this? Ya know, I\'m from Ohio, I\'m, you know, came from a very grounded family, my parents were teachers, I was not even really brought up in an environment where we talked about, you know, trusting gut feelings or anything like that, to be honest with you. So, when I do speak about intuition, it absolutely includes mediumship and hearing things and seeing things. But at the same time, I know, there\'s also that internal voice, that internal compass, I had to really figure out how to listen to. And thank God, I eventually did. Yeah, well, and I think

Brandon Handley 5:45
in both these scenarios are KEARSON justice for the audience to that, when you tune into intuition, or some of these voices, you\'re connected to source, right, there\'s different channels for it all. And if it starts coming through, like, I don\'t know, don\'t ignore it. Right. You know, pay attention to it. If you feel I think inclined, like you did to go seek out help is to make sure that, hey, double checking, just to make sure we\'re all cool, we all agree that I\'m not crazy. Okay, we\'re all agreement. Let\'s keep moving forward. So, you know, let\'s, let\'s, let\'s dive into it, right, like, you know, so. So I\'m gonna tell the audience to like, when when I got Carson\'s book, I thought, you know, I\'m jumping into mediumship, I didn\'t really read the subtitle to well, and just kind of jumping right into it. And again, based off of having a conversation with, with Katie, right, like hers, and I had that conversation with mediumship. And the beginning of your book starts off like that, right, which is great. And I\'ve read somebody else read that it\'s a page like a binge reader. It really was, I think I almost ripped through like, the first 100 pages really quick, so fun and great read. Just so you know. But let\'s talk about it. Right? So okay, you\'re kind of hanging out, you\'re building furniture, you\'ve got like, you know, your 2.5 Children, you know, husband, and everything\'s all working out. And you\'re building furniture, right? Once you start like hearing these voices, what\'s happening? Like, what, what\'s the scene?

Kiersten 7:14
So it actually started in the garage. So I had already been building furniture in our garage in Burbank, California for about three years, I think, at that point, almost four years. And so my normal routine is take the kids to school, come back, you know, basically belly up to the wood bench and start working. So I think what happened is that I think they\'re a combination of two things, I learned the healing modality of Reiki. And I did that in order to help our oldest child with anxiety. And I was a skeptic, even, you know, going into that in and even practicing that I was very much a skeptic. However, it did seem to be working. But what I didn\'t I didn\'t count on was that it was going to actually change me. And I think the combination of being in the garage and that solitary kind of meditative time, coupled with the Reiki is what really opened me up. And that\'s when I started to, you know, hear voices and children were saying, Mom, but my kids were at school, or nails were moving off the, you know, on the top of a workbench. So I was definitely seeing things that I could easily dismiss that we would all dismiss, like, oh, that something just moved, there was a truck that came by. But it became so intense that there was no way I could ignore it. And of course, I did question my sanity at that point. But you know, by the time I\'m starting to see children walk through my kitchen, who are in spirit, by the time I\'m starting to actually have sort of full on conversations with them without saying a word, that\'s when, you know, that\'s when I knew there was something to this. And then the validation that I would get on top of that helped a lot.

Brandon Handley 8:54
Right, and, you know, so you\'re hanging out, you\'re having conversations with spirit. My guess is you\'re trying to keep the shit together. And eventually, like you, but you bring it up to your husband, right? And what was his reaction to all this?

Kiersten 9:12
You know, he he was actually very supportive. I think he was a little bit like, Okay, I\'m gonna just kind of keep an eye on her, to be honest with you, but he was he was outwardly supportive. He wasn\'t saying, Here\'s, that\'s crazy. He was saying, you know, I believe in you, and I don\'t think you\'re crazy. Now, the fortunate part for me is that he\'s also highly intuitive. And I remember one night we were laying in bed and there was a child standing at the door. And he saw her I had spoken with her earlier in the day but hadn\'t said a word. And he said, Do you see the girl standing in a door with a long dark hair? And I you know, I hugged him. Thank you for saying that.

Brandon Handley 9:53
I got you. I got chills on that. And here. I\'ll tell you like my wife sees stuff every once in a while and kind of always has Between us all, I\'m in no mood for it. So yeah, yeah, yeah. It\'s gonna go ahead and trust that it\'s happening. I don\'t need, I don\'t need to verify I\'m cool. So, what I think is cool about that. And super important is that having that kind of support because I mean, that takes a lot of it took a lot for you to be like, Hey, I\'m seeing things and this is going on, right? Like that could go any direction in the relationship. Right? But like, he\'d be like, be like, Listen, I gotta get the kids and go. Good luck with the ghosts. Yeah, I listen to Eddie Murphy. Out. Right, like,

Kiersten 10:42
yeah, exactly. I give him a lot of credit, because he didn\'t fail on that, you know?

Brandon Handley 10:47
Right. So I mean, you know, that that that can take a lot, especially, you know, as you\'re going through it, and it\'s coming up. So. So yeah, let\'s talk about validation, right of it. So it\'s not just validating you got some kind of validation from, you know, your husband and this other stuff. But like, let\'s talk about where it leads you like next right, I believe, you kind of get let\'s let\'s like, walk through the book a little bit, I guess, as

Kiersten 11:10
that sounds great. So the next step was, you know, starting to ramp up and I noticed that the more that I was open to it, the more it would ramp up, the more people would be kind of showing up on my doorstep, so to speak. And I remember channeling a boy named Nate and he I described him in the book and his family, and I\'m still really close to them to this day, which is awesome. But I didn\'t know Nate\'s I didn\'t know Nate, he died when he was 13. I knew his parents, but I didn\'t know them very well. We went to high school together. So you can imagine as I\'m just scrolling the Facebook feed, and I see a memorial post about Nate\'s death. And it had been a few years since he had passed. He then shows up on my right side and starts talking to me. And I, you know, I\'m kind of freaking out at that point. I\'m scared for a number of reasons. Because I A, he\'s asking me to share information with his parents. And I\'m thinking, you know, I don\'t know, I don\'t know them. I don\'t want to hurt them. What if this is correct? What if this isn\'t real? What if this is all on my mind? So you know, I went through all of the emotions you would go through as a sane person. And then ultimately, I decided, you know, I had to get quiet, you know, I had to kind of put it away for a little bit and then come back to it. And once I came back to it, I had this knowing of you know what, it\'s time I can do this. And I\'m so glad I reached out to them because I was able to share messages and continue to share messages to this day. And Nate is with me quite a bit. He\'s, you know, pops in and out. He was actually even with me when I was recording the audio book. And he knew that I was really it was getting really hot if you\'ve been an audiobook, and I was also claustrophobic. So he decides he\'s going to open the door for me. And I have to tell you, the audio engineer, I think his life has been completely changed this experience, because, you know, he\'s hearing the door open on the other side, and I have an entire blanket between me and the door. There\'s like, no way I could have opened it. And yeah, he kind of freaked out. So that\'s Nate. So Nate\'s awesome Nate opens doors, and he facilitated communication between you know, his family and myself and it gave me the confidence that I needed to continue to move forward. Because without that, I don\'t think I would have had the confidence I would have just stuffed it away. You know, I would have thought this isn\'t I don\'t want to deal with this. This is too much.

Brandon Handley 13:35
Well, I think it\'s one thing to talk about it with your family right right like hey just see goes yes I\'ll go so that\'s all see goes right like whatever right where was it goes family that\'s what we do. This is coming out beyond your family right and reaching out to people that a like you said, there already like and just not the best place right? As parents like nobody will ever wants to lose their child no matter you know, no matter what. And then you\'re like, Hey, I\'ve been talking to me and but they were receptive right but you took again, this is another kind of like a leap of faith right? Another chance where you just like but yeah, we\'ll go ahead and we\'ll do it right.

Kiersten 14:18
A lot of leaps of faith. Scary. Very scary.

Brandon Handley 14:22
Super scary. Um, no doubt no doubt. You know, you talked about opening doors to I just want to highlight this part two you know as as you go through this, I\'m just gonna jump through some pieces here as you go through this. You\'ve got no other spirits start like they\'re all like hey care, sister. Wanko go reach out to cares to like a lot of them right. But a part of what you do, and I thought that this was pretty cool was you help them through a light door and this is just prompted by you talk. Talk a little bit about this, this this thing that you do and I believe is that satisfied? was a two part of your organization as well? Is that something that you do as a service? Or is that kind of just something that\'s ad hoc? And then the group that you?

Kiersten 15:09
Yeah, it\'s kind of just ad hoc and ad hoc, you know, what happens when it happens? If a case does come through or nonprofit, it requires me helping someone crossed into the light, then I can totally, I can do that. But that was new to me. I mean, I\'d watched I\'d watch the Ghost Whisperer, right. So I knew that there was something you know, that had to do with crossing into the light. But I didn\'t know what I was doing. So as all of this is happening, you know, I was not the person who was seeking any education on this, I just, I was not mindful of any of that. So as they\'re starting to come in, I\'m starting to notice patterns. Because I\'m very scientific. I like research, I like to find patterns. And I started to notice that when Spirit would come in, and they hadn\'t crossed into the light, or on the other side, they would be on my right hand side, like they would come to my right, they would, there would be chills on my right hand side. If they were already on the other side, they come to the left. So I was starting to notice that but then there was the what do I do? So I googled it. And apparently, you can Google a lot. So I Googled how to build furniture, I Googled spirit into the light. I\'m a Googler. So I googled it. And I basically just learned that I, you know, if I speak with them, they speak back, I reassure them that there\'s no hell that they can come back and forth, I envision in my mind that there\'s a large light that they can walk through. And I just, you know, it\'s a lot of reassuring, because a lot of times, you know, I mainly channel children, or young young people, teens, sometimes in their early 20s, that\'s kind of that\'s the AGE RAGE for me for some reason. But some, some of them have committed suicide, and they feel a lot of guilt and fear, you know, that they\'re gonna go to hell, and so I do a lot of explaining before I actually help them cross.

Brandon Handley 17:04
So that\'s pretty cool. I thought, I think that that\'s pretty cool that you know, you know, you don\'t just communicate with them. There\'s also a part of what you do, that says, hey, you know, your sock, let me help you through and it\'s okay to, to pass through, you\'re going to be okay, on this other side versus kind of like, again, just standing there on the ledge waiting for you know, and just being afraid of what\'s next. Right? Guidance. Super cool. The these guys do your spirit. You know, your spirit connection. also helped you to get on Shark Tank. Let\'s talk about that a little bit.

Kiersten 17:37
They kind of did. Yeah, I mean, they gave me the intuitive, you know, intuitive hits to do it. My dad actually called me up. And he, this was in 2010. And he said, have you seen this new show called Shark Tank? So I just sort of laughed thinking it was like, you know, a show about sharks? And he said, No, no, it\'s for your business. Like, I know, you\'re, you know, I was busting at the seams at that point at celebrities and interior designers from all over the world, asking for my toy boxes, which was kind of crazy to begin with, right? That\'s where you know, intuition works. Because I was just a mom in a garage. So anyhow, he called me up and asked me if I\'d seen the show. And so I took a look at it. And my first reaction was, this looks really scary. And I don\'t know if I wanted to put myself out there like that. And then I, again, sat back and thought, Now, I can do this, I need to do this. Because I need to grow my business, I need to scale it, I needed to find a manufacturer, because I was at the point where I could only do so much with my two hands.

Brandon Handley 18:36
Again, for those those are listening, you know, you had this business that you\'re just literally out of like your garage hammer now in between classes to get to kids and run life. Right. And you know, it\'s impossible to scale. Right without without kind of taking those next steps and as your book, and as you just stayed like I mean, you were getting you were getting some really nice publicity. Absolutely. Right. Yeah. demand was there. And so shark tanks, like, let\'s go.

Kiersten 19:09
Yeah, yeah. And they picked me which was great, because there are a lot of people that sign up for that show. And I mean, it was the second season of it. So I didn\'t have as much of a harder time getting on the show because it was still new. They weren\'t lining people up in stadiums auditioning them, I literally just had to film a you know, record a video and send it in and there you go. But I ended up on the show, I ended up I ended up kind of going through my own intuition. Listen on the show as well. Because being being someone who always was a people pleaser, her entire life and not quite understanding why I was that people pleaser. But I was and I was on the show and the producers are telling me to do one thing and I\'m thinking, This doesn\'t feel right. And I need to do something different. You know, I really need to do that. But that\'s kind of Again, require me speaking up putting myself out there in saying, I\'m not going to, I\'m not going to take that advice. I\'m going to go this route. And I\'m really glad I did. Because I ended up getting two offers on the show. And it airs internationally, I still get messages from people all over the place that you know, watch it on Hulu. And that\'s just been incredible to have that. You know, that experience.

Brandon Handley 20:25
Just super cool. Yeah, I love I love it. Again, this is a bit out of the book, right? where you work, you work, you work on the speech, and you presentation, the pitch as it were. And then like, was it the day before night for you? Like, yeah, I\'m not gonna do that. And everybody\'s like, whoa, whoa, whoa, what are you doing? Man? That\'s such a bad idea. But also, you know, I think I don\'t know that we hit on it here so much. We did talk a little bit about, you know, we\'re, we talked about it that you are a marketing executive for a year. Yeah, this wasn\'t like, wasn\'t your first rodeo, right, given these pitches, and, you know, so you were just like, hey, what what we worked on, isn\'t in alignment with like, what it is that I\'m doing, and you\'re like, I\'m gonna go in, and be in alignment with what it is that I\'m doing. And, you know, I\'ve trained my entire life basically, for this, and I\'m just gonna let let it kind of speak from the heart as well. Right?

Kiersten 21:19
Yeah. It had to be authentic to me, and I knew it wasn\'t. And so that was the impetus for me to say, You know what, I can\'t I can\'t do this. I have to kind of do it my way. And they fought me on it. But ultimately, when I got up on the stage, and you know, I, I did well, I remembered my tickets. I did well. And again, I got the two offers. And in you know, what\'s interesting about that shows, sometimes as you read those deals don\'t go through afterwards. And this is something that I did not know, I didn\'t understand. I

Brandon Handley 21:48
didn\'t know either until October. Yeah. Yeah.

Kiersten 21:51
It\'s kind of common, to be honest with you, unless you pair up if the sharks pair up. There\'s accountability. But I think sometimes they can decide that they don\'t want, you know, they don\'t want to go through with it. Maybe they got wrapped up in the moment. So that\'s what happened to me. That\'s what happened to me. Thankfully, Hulu airs Shark Tank episodes. And a true angel investor out of California, wrote to me and said, Did you get that deal? Because I would love to invest in your company. So I was able to actually get more money, and I gave away less equity.

Brandon Handley 22:24
That\'s awesome. That\'s awesome. So that kind of leads into the darkness. Yeah, so it\'s, it\'s been it\'s been quite, you know, it\'s been an uplifting journey up to this point, for the most part, right. But then, you know, here we go. You\'re traveling. You are working on G, you have gotten a potential spokesperson spot and working with the national international company.

Kiersten 22:57
They were most will they actually produced overseas, so they used to, but they were Yeah, big company. Very, very large company.

Brandon Handley 23:07
Right. So you get this, you get this job offer. And you\'re going to like close the deal. Determine a couple of final, you know, dot the i\'s cross the T\'s kind of thing. And then what happens?

Kiersten 23:21
Yeah, so here\'s the darkness coming in. So I want to back up for a tiny bit, just to say that, you know, what I started to notice as I was a medium kind of an undercover medium really is, you know, as I was growing my bomb, I was on Shark Tank, all that stuff was happening. So when you watch Shark Tank, and you see that all of the spirits stuff was happening behind the scenes with me, I was starting to notice that a lot of the kids that were coming in, had been sexually abused or murdered by pedophiles and predators. And I just thought to myself, That\'s really interesting. Like, I don\'t know why I\'m honored that they\'re coming to me, and maybe it\'s because I\'m a mom, but I don\'t necessarily know why they\'re coming to me. So with that, in the back of your mind, I then enter into a trade show where I am supposed to be meeting with, you know, a bunch of different TV networks and talking about Stanley and we I was about to sign a $5 million licensing deal with them. And I lost my job. They shut down their production of their use division. So the minute I land in North Carolina, I lose my job. So I\'m, I\'m basically in a perfect storm, which did not help things. So here I am, perfect storm, trying to figure out what am I going to do? My husband wasn\'t making enough money at that point because I was the main breadwinner. So I stayed I tried to figure things out because I knew maybe if I stayed and I worked hard enough, and I got a lot of meetings, I could get a different, you know, a different licensing deal. Unfortunately, I ended up meeting a man named Tony at that at that event, and Tony walked in and kind of knowing a lot about me, but I did And realize that he knew as much as he did about me. And he just swept me off my feet. I wasn\'t planning on any of that. It was not something, you know, we had my my husband, Scott and I are obviously we\'re having issues in our marriage and marriage is hard. I mean, you\'re married, right? It can be hard. Yes. But,

Brandon Handley 25:21
yeah, it\'s a relationship. I think any, any, like, ongoing long term relationship is hard, then, you know, couple that with, you know, you spend all your time with each other, right, you know,

Kiersten 25:35
in job loss and what I was going, yeah, the afterlife. And so, you know, at that point, I started to connect the dots, I started to actually have visions of myself being abused by my uncle, when I was between the ages of three and six. And I ended up finding out that I was raped by him at five. I don\'t have a lot of memory of my childhood. So I was I was sort of looking back and putting all the pieces together, because that\'s, you know, that\'s what you do. Had I not had the mediumship base and the validation and working with cops and detectives across the country, I wouldn\'t have believed what I saw. Right. So I truly knew that what that\'s why they were coming to me. So I found that out right before I went down to what they call market, and when I met Tony, so that was the full spectrum to give you the phone.

Brandon Handley 26:26
Yeah, that\'s important. For sure.

Kiersten 26:29
Yeah. So Tony ended up sweeping me off my feet. In looking back now, it was absolutely, you know, it\'s sort of a handbook that the narcissist has the sociopaths has. And he followed it to a tee. He, he was able to know enough about me in order to sort of pull me in. And I let him right. And I think this is where, you know, I was thinking, Oh, my gosh, I this this man is amazing. I am having all the chills, I\'m having everything that you would have, you know, from an intuitive standpoint to you know, our marriage has been really hard. And I\'m done. I\'m done. Right now, that was a week after meeting him. So I\'m already not acting like the old Kiersten, I\'m already in a different headspace, but not understanding that I am. So that led me down a road of three years of abuse, narcissistic abuse, financial abuse, emotional abuse, it was getting to physical abuse.

Brandon Handley 27:33
And one of the pieces to like, you know, I think it makes sense to to say, hey, you know, here\'s this guy, Tony comes in and sweeps you off your feet, not only like, you know, was he had the, you know, this type of guy, but he was in the industry that you were in, offered support came in, I remember this, you took charge, like, yes, you felt like, you know, this was something you need in your life, this was the help you needed to get through and into the next steps. And, you know, there was a bunch of other stuff that you know, you know, I think as any relationship goes on, you\'re like, this is, this has been nice to have somebody give me this kind of attention and be in this space. And it just kind of, you know, it all took took in, you know, and it was all pretty rapid, right? In this book. And you\'re like, you\'re like, you know what, like I said, I\'m out and you go into this relationship of like, you know, you\'re in, I think, you know, the relationship and who wasn\'t a scar, or like one of the somebody calls out, you know, you\'ll have your first argument, like six months, and you\'re still like, yeah, right. And yeah, that happened, right? Like, I mean, right around that period.

Kiersten 28:42
Yes. It was interesting was around four months, I think when I started to actually recognize, like, This doesn\'t feel right. And that\'s another reason I wrote the book because my intuition I couldn\'t, I couldn\'t think it or feel it through my head or my heart, but my body could feel it. And so I was starting to get all kinds of weird body signals that something was off even though you know, I, I am stubborn, I was driven. This is right for me. Use of relationships. It\'s not all bad. That\'s the thing, right? It\'s not all bad all the time. There\'s, it\'s the cycle of abuse that you get trapped in. So I ended up, I ended up finally, you know, feeling around the four month mark that something wasn\'t right here because he started to talk about my eye contact with other men. He was kind of questioning things. But being a person that is very introspective and always goes and looks inside says oh, yeah, maybe I could have done that better. Or maybe. Yeah, that\'s that\'s how I operate. So that\'s what I did.

Brandon Handley 29:48
Yeah. And, you know, you talk about the cycle. And it\'s funny, I read a actually listen to an article a few years back talking about neuropeptides, right, that just says hey, what you Going through was like the, you know, heightened like affectionate, right? You\'ve got the highs of affection. But then you also have these highs of like, oh shit, you know what is going on here and like this kind of like this dislike, you know, I wouldn\'t call it paranoia but like you\'re just gonna, you\'re in a heightened state of like awareness defensiveness and like fight or flight at all times, right and so yes,

Kiersten 30:25
yes. So I was not used to that your body,

Brandon Handley 30:29
right with those neuro peptides, it\'s like it\'s an injection of energy and your body doesn\'t discern like, Oh, that\'s good energy I want more of that. It\'s just addicted to the energy, whatever energy it is bad energy. Oh yeah, it\'s just energy. Give me more of that. So that\'s where you found yourself was like in this in this wave of after wave it feels good I want more of that. Oh shit, I guess I want more of that. Right like yeah,

Kiersten 30:59
no you don\'t. And that\'s what\'s so impossible for abuse survivors because I think in our society we shame survivors a lot and we say well, why didn\'t you leave sooner? You know instead of saying well why are they the way they are. And for me the key was understanding the intuitive hits I was getting to from the body, that from my body, like I was having buzzing sensation on my right hip anytime he would yell at me. Now, now that I\'m out of the relationship and have been since 2017, I don\'t have that anymore. You know. So it was really interesting to pair that with the fact that I also was starting to understand the cycle that I was stuck in from the dopamine highs and, you know, the neuro, the bio chemicals, I guess that were like you were talking about? I didn\'t know that nobody talked about that was me. I had no clue. I was addicted to it, you know? Yeah.

Brandon Handley 31:53
I mean, I don\'t I don\'t think that, uh, you know, I don\'t think those are new a newer findings and people, you know, like, you just got to work the relationship out. Right, right. Yeah. Like, like hell I do. Um, so. But I think one of the things to just kind of important here is that, you know, you had what was the guy\'s name? Jason right, that said, hey, you know, yeah, hey, this relationship, go through with it. And you\'re like, Okay, you know, everything felt right and aligned. And then, at the same time, like later, you know, same same guys. All right, yeah. It\'s time to check out. Right? Yeah.

Kiersten 32:28
Yeah, it\'s interesting, you know, from the Spirit side, right. So what I was starting to finally understand by the end of the relationship, by the time I was ready to get a restraining order, it was that bad. Jason was coming in. He was 23, when he died of a heroin overdose. He has been with me throughout all of this, he was the one saying, Go get the restraining order now. Really helping me, you know, from the other side, he was the first one to say he\'s your drug. And he understood that as an addict, right? Sure. So there was a lot. There were those pieces, right? So he\'s there sort of saying, Yes, this is all feeling very, very big and very, very, like intense, because we had to hit you over the head with it. Because I don\'t think to be honest with you, I would be where I am now. And I know my husband and I would not be where we are now had I not gone through this. And and then later on, as you read in the book, Jesus and came back in and said, you know, this was this piece of your life was planned before your birth, like you could not have avoided them. And I had definitely had some I had free Well, I could have done things differently. But I think that\'s what I\'ve, you know, I honestly feel that in my soul, because I wouldn\'t be able to tell the story. No and

Brandon Handley 33:47
right, like, you know, and it was part of your healing journey, right? You might not have uncovered some of the stuff that you did to become who you are. And nobody\'s going to recommend and you certainly aren\'t recommending Hey, go find yourself a you know, an abusive relationship so that you can heal but this was your was your journey. Right? I think another thing that was kind of interesting, as you talked about this, was that this fear spirits didn\'t reach out to you as often during that period of the relationship. What do you what do you think that was? What was going on there?

Kiersten 34:22
It was too dark. It was too dark. You know, I was living with a man who had no conscience operated off of just whatever his ego wanted, you know, was horribly abusive. So those children you know, and and I eventually found out he was a predator you know, with with countless women and teenage teenager that I know of at least one, so they\'re gonna back away. Now my core crew of kids that have been around me and with me for a long time, like Nate and Carrie and Jason, they stuck with me But the rest of them were sort of waiting in the wings for me to get out of it. But it was up to me to do that, you know, and I think that\'s what\'s so interesting about that journey is figuring out, you know, what would have happened, if I stayed, I would have died, I have no doubt about no doubt about that, I was told that I would have died, either by his hand or by my own because I was locked in such an abusive situation I was hurt, my hair was falling out. My body was completely out of whack. I was smoking to try and to cope with all of it, you know, it was just such a mess. And I know so many people find themselves in that is heartbreaking.

Brandon Handley 35:43
Absolutely. Look, it\'s no good for anybody to be in that situation. You know, my mom left an abusive relationship, several, that\'s, you know, my father was locked away because of that, you know, going up so, so I understand, you know, kind of the toll it can take, and then you know, you know, how, how it impacts others, right. And in some way, shape or other one of the other things too, is that, you know, so you\'ve got Mom mom working, like before you go into this relationship, like, you know, things are like, they\'re decent, right? Yeah, you\'re hitting, you\'re hitting snags, right? Tony\'s like, hey, I can help you with this stuff. Because, you know, he had a, you know, at least what you thought was a credible name in the industry and all this stuff. So whatever happened mod mom throughout all this.

Kiersten 36:31
So my mom ended up I mean, it\'s still going today, which is great. I actually didn\'t have a manufacturer. But it was interesting to watch. Because I, what I saw myself do was sort of push it aside, once I lost that deal. Then it became about his line, or furniture. And so at that point, I\'m thinking, Oh, my gosh, I believe in him, he\'s gonna help me, let\'s go ahead and just pour everything into his line. And then we can come back to mod mom. So I literally put it on the back burner for many years. And after I got out of the relationship, it started to soar again, literally, like within the first week that I was out, I got a I was reached out to by a manufacturer, who said, Are you looking for, you know, a licensing deal? And so it\'s just testament to energy? Right, the heaviness darker and?

Brandon Handley 37:22
Yeah, well, I just, you know, I guess I\'m just trying to highlight, you know, the, the, and even during that time, like everything Tony was working on was, you know, kind of turned into shit. Like, for lack of better terminology. It wasn\'t working out. Right. It was

Kiersten 37:35
Turner\'s Yep.

Brandon Handley 37:36
So, and I highlight this to simply because I\'m aware that you know, you\'re back online, you\'re back on track, and you\'re doing well, and things are in a positive space. But I think that if we take a look at it all right, is the whole idea of being in alignment with the truth of who you are following your intuition. And kind of paying attention to it. And when everything\'s in alignment, and you\'re being true to who you are things work out, it\'s weird, right? You\'re like, yeah, I don\'t I don\'t get it. But you know, here it is, it\'s working. And I just wanted to highlight those two pieces, because there\'s a justification in the book, like everything, everything\'s a mess. And as soon as you kind of step out of it, and you realize it, and it has to do with like the energy that you\'re, you either you\'re around or coursing through your insides match your outsides is what they say.

Kiersten 38:30
Absolutely, yeah. And I, you know, I wasn\'t being I wasn\'t being abused anymore. And I was, I was literally able to heal little KEARSON, because I stood up for her by standing up to him and saying, No, I\'m done with us. And I was, I\'m one of the only women that he has done this to that can be vocal about it.

Brandon Handley 38:51
He\'s got a platform, you got a platform you\'re capable to. I mean, I think that, you know, a lot of people might give marketing a bad stick, but like you\'re capable, you know, how to tell the story in order to evoke the emotion, not that you have to because you live it, but like, you know, hey, listen, this is this is real. Right, I can tell a story and, you know, share it. So I think that\'s important, too. Again, these are all the parts of view that came together so that, you know, you could a expose this guy to others be, you know, share your story with others in a way that they understand like, again, you know, if it cures, not to say that any drug addict deserves to get like, you know, treated the way that you were in a situation, but if it did come from a drug addict, maybe it\'s she shouldn\'t have been doing drugs.

Kiersten 39:38
Yeah, maybe I know,

Brandon Handley 39:40
or Yeah. So the background allows for for credibility.

Kiersten 39:47
Absolutely. And I think, you know, the other side of it is that I hadn\'t heard the term wounded attachment. I had never heard of that. Even when I was in therapy after I got out of the relationship and I was still you know, trying to put my My life back together and figure out how did I get here? It wasn\'t something that was known to me. And that is another reason why I wrote the book. And I wanted to tell the story, because wounded attachment is the is the subconscious way of attracting or being attracted to wounds that happened in childhood. So for me what I didn\'t What I didn\'t equate was that my uncle was very much like Tony. And I literally replicated that type of abuse as an adult, because little Kiersten was the subconscious driver of that plus, and, you know, 80% of our behavior is driven by our subconscious is so you know, just even learning that piece of this, you know, even without the intuition was so impactful for me, and powerful.

Brandon Handley 40:47
Now powerful journey, powerful journey. So my mom\'s on what\'s the organization? Here\'s the

Kiersten 40:57
National Institute for law, injustice. That\'s another

Brandon Handley 41:01
one. So you\'ve got like, hit on that one real quick for us. So what was the sir? Yeah, what, what\'s involved there?

Kiersten 41:07
So one of the detectives that I worked with across the country over the last 10 years, his name is Mark Pucci. And he actually wrote the foreword for the book, he and I co founded a nonprofit, it\'s a 501 C three, and it\'s called the National Institute for law injustice, and we help families of crime victims at no cost. Because what we are finding, you know, a lot of the cases I worked on involve missing persons involve homicide, you know, that is, maybe it\'s a suicide, but it\'s actually homicide, that type of thing. And he has worked on a lot of those cases, too, as an NYPD retired detective. So basically, we said, let\'s do this, let\'s make it so it\'s not so freakin expensive for the families. Let\'s try and take that burden off of them and see what we can do. And we\'re gonna band together, everybody we know. So we\'re bringing in cold case, detectives, we\'re bringing in, you know, anyone and everyone that we know is credible. And that has volunteered to work with us.

Brandon Handley 42:07
That\'s pretty awesome. I love that. And then you\'ve got another one where you are helping others, children with sensitivities. So yeah,

Kiersten 42:17
it\'s, it\'s not really an organization. It\'s just something I do. And I have found, you know, in my life, I clearly have been guided to many people, sometimes for hard lessons, sometimes for great stuff. But in this case, I feel like the parents of these children who are highly, highly intuitive find me. Sometimes I know them, sometimes I don\'t. And I literally just try and and to show them, you know, here\'s what worked for me, here\'s how you can create boundaries. Like if you\'re feeling overwhelmed, you can write a whole list of rules, like I will not be woken up at night, you know, it\'s a lot about using your own power to deal with being highly, highly intuitive. Because, I mean, it was scary as hell as a 36 year old, I can\'t even imagine, you know, I don\'t remember that. I know what happened to me when I was a little kid. But I don\'t remember that. And I wanted to help those kids get through that.

Brandon Handley 43:11
Now. That\'s pretty awesome, too. Got friends, my wife included, who know sensitive at an early age, but don\'t or didn\'t have the resources to you know, talk to someone about it in a supportive fashion versus Oh, you didn\'t say anything? You didn\'t hear anything? Yeah, right type of thing. So I think that\'s a really cool service that you\'re done. So, books awesome. I enjoyed it. I certainly recommend it. You know, like I said, it\'s definitely been binge ready, readable? I\'ve never, I saw that somebody else wrote it. And I was like, No, it\'s true, but it was bingeable That\'s what it was. But visible. There it is. So we are on a little spot that I always like to call like, kind of spiritual speed dating. Shearson like, you know, somebody\'s gonna pop in here and they\'re gonna be like, like, maybe Pearson\'s my next spiritual speed date. This one works. This works for me, I think, yeah, I pull out of 20 questions. So spiritual Bachelorette number one, why is there poverty and suffering in the world?

Kiersten 44:20
Oh, my gosh, you picked a big one. Okay, so this is where I\'m going to be very honest, and claim that I really don\'t know everything. I don\'t know everything. You know, I know my little piece of the world. I know that I can communicate with these kids. They pass information. We help get answers and we help connect families. I think the poverty and strife and all of that. I don\'t have an answer for it. I wish that I did. Like it\'s similar to I don\'t really have an answer for why kids die. You know, why? Why is this happening? I do feel like there are some things like in my life right now. that were planned before my birth, my soul said, I\'m coming in, and I\'m going to learn these things. Patience is one of them. I know that in my life. I know that, but I don\'t I really don\'t know. So that\'s not you know, I don\'t have an answer for you on that one.

Brandon Handley 45:18
Oh, good. I mean, if it was me, and I\'m talking to you, and I am that I would say, you know, I think in the suffering aspect of this, as we look at your story, yours was to kind of guide you through something where, at the time, the suffering socked right, it was awful. Yeah. But the end result? Was something beneficial.

Kiersten 45:44
Absolutely. And I will say, you know, some of the kids that are some of the parents of the children who have passed on, have started foundations, and they\'ve started nonprofits that help others. And so I can see how that, you know, does benefit it helps us grow, right, as a society, and humanity, it helps to sort of elevate, but I wish Yeah, I wish I had a better answer for you. But that\'s that\'s how

Brandon Handley 46:09
it works. Right? It works. Doo doo. Sure, one wish for the world.

Kiersten 46:17
Oh, my gosh, one wish for all? I honestly wished. You know, it\'s very similar to that. And I don\'t know if it was Gandhi who said this. I can\'t remember who said it. But, you know, if if we all meditated, right, we would have a completely different world. Like, if we all had that mindset, I\'m not big on meditation, to be honest with you. And I\'m to add for that, however, I understand it\'s just tapping into that, you know, to that inner knowing and so the universe and understanding that we\'re all connected, and how we treat others, whether we\'re here or in another continent, it has a ripple effect. And that\'s what I wish I wish that that that was something that was could become more known, I guess,

Brandon Handley 46:59
for sure. I love it. This one is not out of my question bank, but if you continue to go the way you\'re going now, how long is it gonna take for Phoenix to move you to Sedona?

Kiersten 47:10
Okay, so funny enough. Yeah, you know, we lived in Flagstaff, we were 45 minutes from Sedona and we would go down there and visit all the time. I love Sedona Sedona it\'s not really my bag. It\'s not my bocce

Brandon Handley 47:22
too crunchy. I gotta do it. Kristen, is there anything else that you want to share with the group? Where can we send people to find you? What\'s next? Oh, sure.

Kiersten 47:33
Yeah. So Kiersten half cocked.com, you can find all kinds of good information. I\'m in the middle of book touring at this point, because the book just came out. The audio book will be coming out October 18. And, yeah, I\'m excited too. We actually sat down my husband, Scott, and I sat down with the audio engineer, and Nick and we talked about what happened during the recording, which is kind of cool to get the back. Yeah, the backstory. So I\'ll be giving that out to to anybody that buys the audio book.

Brandon Handley 48:03
That\'s cool. I always I always appreciate that. Will the book tour be listed on your like, we\'re

Kiersten 48:12
going Yes, yes, it is on my website under Events. And so you\'ll you\'ll see right now, I\'m actually going back to my hometown in defiance Ohio, shout out to the fine. We\'re gonna do that November.

Brandon Handley 48:26
One of the things I\'ll call out about the book that I thought was pretty interesting is this isn\'t spiritual memoir. It\'s not easy to get this published. This is a published book. This is not a self published piece. And, you know, congratulations on that as well.

Kiersten 48:38
Thank you. Thank you. I appreciate that. Yeah, that was a journey in itself. Thank you so much.

Brandon Handley 48:42
I appreciate very cool. KEARSON. Thanks again for being on today.

Kiersten 48:45
Thank you. I appreciate it. Brandon. Take care. Absolutely. I

Intro Guy 48:48
really hope you enjoyed this episode of the spiritual dove podcast. Stay connected with us directly through spiritual dove Dotco. You can also join the discussion on Facebook, spiritual and Instagram and spiritual underscore Joe. If you would like to speak with us, send us an email Brandon at spiritual dove.co And as always, thank you for cultivating your mindset and creating a better reality. This includes the most thought provoking part of your day. Don\'t forget to like and subscribe to stay fully up to date. Until next time, be kind to yourself and trust your intuition.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai