ARE YOU READY TO SUCCEED | CHAPTER 06 | DEEP DIVE 1 of 2
These two books will help with the concept of surrender in greater depth and detail.
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What is happenin? spiritual dope. Brandon Handley here, voice of a generation as we jump into yet another chapter of Are you ready to succeed? Hello, you know this was already ready to succeed is by Sreekumar Rao. And I love how has pm a lot of gruesome conversations with her. She says this is a there's kind of it's in my voice, right? How am I seeing this and what is what is my take on it in all honesty to like this, this, this just helps me to dig deeper into the content helps me to get closer and more personal with this content. And hopefully, you know, hopefully it's something that brings you some value, right? Hopefully, this is something that
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once you've been introduced to it, it has a tremendous impact on you, just like it has had on me over the years. And you get some big takeaways. So what we're going to talk about today is chapter number six. Your me centered universe creates the stress in your life. He says, Hey, you live in a me centered universe. I still remember first time I saw this as like direct attack, shots fired man street from our man. It's not cool. But it's true, right? No matter what happens to another, you worry about how it is going to impact you. No matter what happens, you know, something happens to your wife, your son, your daughter, your mother, you're like, well, geez, how's this going to impact the rest of my day?
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I'm guilty, definitely guilty of it. This is inclusive of your altruistic measures. Anything, anything that you feel like you're doing altruistically, more often than not, you're like, Well, you know, how are people gonna see me out to this outcome? What are people gonna think of me? And I remember when I first started my journey of, you know, kind of social networking and getting out there it was, it was, it was so it was for a reaction.
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Did this was soccer coaching, I was like, Well, I'm gonna go to soccer coaching so that I can network and possibly meet people and further my career versus, hey, go out there and do this for the right reasons.
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Nonetheless, you know,
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it's still, I still still got out there to the coach, and I still had a good time. But I didn't, you know, it wasn't wasn't with my heart in the right place that time, same thing, you know, with Toastmasters and other functions. So definitely done things myself, historically. And even to this date, where even if I feel like it's for a good thing,
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sometimes there's something
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backed into it that says, this is this is for me, and the the outcome that I'm looking for.
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We don't want to hear, but it's true. But it's true. It's true. So he launches into you know, a real simple exercise that you can do, just to see how this shows up in your life. So this should be super easy for anyone right now out there using zoom or Microsoft Teams, or, or anything, right, simply record a call that you're having, and listen to how often you say, me, I or my, I should go check out you know, my podcasts I've done for interviews, right? How often How often do I say I'm here? Or am I right?
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And, you know, reflecting even right now, I'm sitting here reflecting on I'm like, yeah, we'll want to do it aren't aren't I just trying to engage or share an experience? And maybe not right, you know, inherently made. That's just the ego showing up. I don't know, I'm not a psychologist. So listen, this is a big one, this so this one's super, this one's super helpful. says, Hey, you know, this is we're gonna talk about the stress in your life. Right, Jay, and again, you are me centered universe is what really is the creator of all this stress in your life. And when I walked you through this, when I walk you through this, you're gonna you're gonna be like, Oh,
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just way I've been right. So Sreekumar walks you through this, it says, you know, things are always going on. And you were always, always going to react to them. The thing is, you're not, you're not reacting so much to the event itself. What you're doing is that you are reacting to the potential future outcomes. Now you're worried about what's going to happen. If it doesn't work out in the way that you want it to.
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or the give much thought about it. Honestly, you hardly give much thought about it working out the way that you want it to.
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And that's because oftentimes, it seems seems like the universe is against you, right? And look, it's tough to accept
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Thing is, you know, this even this even seems to compound and cause more stress, right? Because you're like this is, you know, I want it to work out this way. You are you're you have a desire for a specific outcome and you believe that should you follow XYZ steps, the universe
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should fucking reciprocate. Right? And then it does it. And then it does not reciprocate. So you
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take it personally.
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How often you know, I can't stand? I can't stand the acronym FML you know, people were like, Fuck my life and I really wasn't what a guy hates me or maybe Yeah, then I've been I've certainly been guilty of being like, man, it feels like me against the world, right? judge you against the world fucking you against the world. God hates you called another shit. just doesn't make sense. Fuck my life. So when you react to these events, you know, it's it's, it's because
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you have expectations for everything. for everyone. And oftentimes, these expectations are communicated right? You just feel like these things should just kind of act out the way that they want again.
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You're like, hey, universe, this is how it should supposed to work and yada, yada. And then it doesn't, you're like, well, you're just fucking pissy about it. So you expand a ton of energy trying to get others to conform to your expectations, right? And then when you feel like you aren't being heard, you turn up the volume and extra notch, you expand even more energy and then the results still do not change.
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The universe, man Geez, right, right. And then it's like, Hey, I go on vacation and it rains, I go, I go to catch my bus. I missed the bus. My bonus wasn't what I expected and the whole the whole universe always against me not and then then. And then then this is where the compounding comes in, then you punish yourself. You become uptight, you become anxious, you become irritable, you're depressed or sit around and like you just, you just morose right and just feeling awful. And then
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essentially, like, you know what, you take it out on those that are that are close by, right, you withdraw emotionally. And you stop spending time with those that are close to you generally unhappy. I still remember I still remember that this was
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to a tee. This was how I wanted my first podcast coach, I wanted to coach with Sam Crowley.
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You know, I that's exactly how I treated me because I didn't you know, she didn't react the way that I wanted her to.
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And I recall feeling this way. At the same time. You know, it was during that time that I was feeling that way. I was like, You know what, this is? The I did I put it back on me I was like this, you know, she just was acting in the way that she thought was
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best for us and our family. And I had to I had to I had to go and understand that and so I let go of it. And, you know, eventually, you know, we agreed to go ahead and take the podcast coach, but that wasn't before I became emotionally withdrawn, stop spending time. You know, with her, I was just generally unhappy right now, you know, I don't know that I punished myself so much. I punished her and the family because of it. And that's not fair. Right? That's not fair.
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So, you know,
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Sreekumar Rao causes a very toxic cocktail. Sometimes we drink this nearly every day. Sometimes we drink this nearly every day. But you know, he goes the good news is it doesn't have to be this way. Now, the first thing you're thinking to yourself probably is that
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you're going to give up all expectations, right? That's what that's just not possible. That's just not possible. Everything. Every action you take, there's that there's expected outcome. You go to fry an egg, you expect it to fry right? The problem isn't so much with the expectations as it is with the reaction to the outcomes. Now let's just take a look and just say hey, look, you have a limited control over yourself really you do and you and then you have literally no control over the outcomes.
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I can't really I mean, I can think of a million things right you even just like if you start off the day with a schedule events are planned and you think of even mike tyson is like everybody's got a plan until you get punched in the face right.
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So whatever your outcome desired outcome is
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In the actions you start take towards that sometimes your day ends up, you know, just like I said, you start off your day with a plan and your day just ends up turning out completely different than you had thought that it might turn out.
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You know, so he says, Hey, you, you do something with the desired outcome of a more often than not, you get result B, C, D, E, or even f. So, if that's all going on, how do I prevent, you know, the toxic feelings you might be asking? So one of the things that you can do is just accept whatever outcome occurs, right, then whatever it is, this is the outcome, that's the outcome, there's not a whole lot, you know, that you can tie your energy up with the the outcome, especially, you know, if it's, if it didn't happen the way you wanted it to, we'll pocket I mean, there it is. You can't change the past.
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Except whatever the outcome is, hopefully, you can do it cheerfully. You know, there it is, I knew it wasn't what I was expecting. And he says better yet.
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If you can actually embrace the outcomes,
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I don't know of any scenario.
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I can think of plenty of scenarios, actually, you know, I think about even being let go from Cisco a couple years ago, I
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felt like a weight the way the world was lifted off my shoulder, actually, I didn't brace it, I was like, great, you know, now Now, this gives me time to kind of go fine and opens me up to go do something different, find what I really want to do, or just try something different.
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Total, totally unburdened by something. And then, you know, the idea is, just doesn't mean you compromise your values, right? This doesn't mean like you, you sit there and you watch injustice, go on, etc. And then I'll throw this out there. As a side note, if you've never done a values exercise, you should check those out. And if you want to do one with me, reach out right reach out. Brandon at spiritual dope, co or hit me up on Facebook or Instagram. That's something that you're interested in. I think that I think it provides a lot of value if you go through it.
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Do the work, right. Good thing bad thing. Who knows? What's the time around this one so far? Guys? 12 minutes, a little rushed through it. I want to get to a piece at the end here. That I think is gonna be beneficial to a couple people I had mentioned that I was going to be doing this one because people are looking for patience and how do you kind of you know, seriously let go and and not be so uptight and strung the fuck out. This is very helpful. Once you kind of begin to employ this practice in your own life, so it goes good thing, bad thing. Who knows? Any time that you have an outcome, you see an outcome, you assign it a label, you say hey, this is good or bad.
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There's a little Sufi tale that he shares in the book and basically, you know, it's uh,
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you know, a farmer
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loses his mayor. And, or stallion, whatever loses a horse. And people are like, Oh, that's terrible. And you know, the old guy goes, that good thing, bad thing. Who knows? Next thing, you know, the horse comes back with, you know, 10 others, and he's able to get them all locked in pretty well. And people are like, yeah, yeah, well, that's good. He goes, good thing bad thing. Who knows? Then, you know, his son, you know, breaks, you know, get gets a horse horse tramples on his leg breaks his leg, you know, so he's maimed and lame, can't walk, you know, well for the rest of his life. And people go Oh, man, that's what a shame when he goes out good thing bad thing knows. Well, the next thing that happens is that
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you know, the army is running around collecting soldiers, and they're taking all of the able bodied men. Well, they can't take his son because he's got you know,
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can't he's got a lame leg. So you know, it goes on infinitum. Just in that way, you know, people like good thing and he's again, good thing bad thing. Who knows? You don't know what's gonna happen and essentially, you know, take stock of your current life take stock of where you are right now. What do you have that you feel is good or bad? The question is, how can you be so certain that it is good or bad? Is it possible
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that you just don't know right? Don't know how this whole thing ends up. So
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I think is a you know better just to kind of accept kind of what's there in front of you. So it gives, it gives an exercise, right? exercise of good thing bad thing recommends that you look back through your life. Look, the things that you once deemed as a bad thing
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has
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That thing in fact, over time become lemonade. He does recommend that you know, leave leaves the super painful shit alone, right? He doesn't say I say like that. But he says a nicer leave the super painful shit alone. All right. But you know what what can you make lemonade out of what have you already made lemonade out of if you go back and you look over your life.
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Finally, not the last part in this chapter. But the last part I'm going to do for today. This is the surrender to the universe. exercise a little bit more than exercise. But essentially, most people believe it Where we at, again takes take a look back, right and see what kind of bad things have actually become good things. If we look over COVID, maybe something good has actually come out of that. If you look over jobs, good or bad, maybe something good has come out of that. And essentially, the stress in your life is caused by your reactions to not getting what you want.
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And you can eliminate like nearly all of this by surrendering it to universe and Sreekumar Hales This is one of the most powerful pieces in the book. And to be 100% honest with you.
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Two or three years had to go by and I've had to read, I've had to read two other books. Before I even caught just how powerful this was, in my own life. And in this book, but those two books that I've read, just to share is Hawkins surrender and
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Michael singer surrender experiment. I think those are really two good books that really go deep on surrender.
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So if you don't get this concept immediately, if you pick up the book, and you don't get it, then check out those two books. And I think it will help explain a little bit more. He says, and this is true, you know, if you can surrender to the universe, you will eliminate 90% of your stress.
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90%
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that's nearly all of it. Right? That's, that's a lot, a lot. So, look, you've you've been led to believe your entire life, that surrender is for the weak. Listen, you're not playing dead, you're still setting your agenda for what you want to happen. What you're giving up and what you're surrendering?
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Are the predetermine expectations. So what do you do, you still take all of your actions with a clear understanding of what you would like to have happen.
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And this is a piece that maybe you haven't done before, but you consciously whiz for benefit to all parties involved. Oh, everybody, every fucking buddy. All right, recognize your actions are only one possible way to achieve the outcomes. Right, you have a limited understanding of all the forces at play. What this makes me think of is, is like the Bible, right?
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scripture, I don't even know where it comes from, or where the lines come from. But you know, he has ways which you don't know of like then yet again, I always throw this out there. You don't even know how you're alive. How does DNA work? Nobody knows the exact specifics of how things work. So recognize that your actions are only one of the possible ways to achieve the outcomes that you're looking for. And let go. I can like go go do what you're trying to do. But then like go, right.
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Don't go chasing it with like, extra attachment strings, just like all pull at you after what you've just done. So detach yourself from the outcome. accept whatever comes again, cheerful, if possible. And if it's possible, to welcome the results wholeheartedly. Then your your perspective on them will be transformed. 100% right. It's a whole new event. That's that's happening and unfolding right in front of you
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detaching yourself from the outcomes Sreekumar says is it's it's skill, like riding a bike. The primary reason you haven't done it up until now, you hadn't thought about you didn't think it was possible. And this may be the first time that you've considered the possibility that you can detach yourself from the outcomes and let go of that fucking stress.
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Because you believe that the outcomes should be what dictates your reaction, right? You don't get something you're sad. You get something and you're happy. And you also believe that the older you get, the less things go your way. Well, no, no, that's great. This isn't that's not it, right actions are within your control.
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The outcomes are not however,
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reactions are within your control if you decide to seize control, and that's, that's going to take, that's what's going to take practice. That's the skill you need to develop.
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And let's see, I think that that's going to close it for Oh, wait, yeah. So that was the process of surrender that need to go through. So surrendering to the universe, letting go of the outcomes, detaching yourself from the outcomes is really the key. key piece. Not really yes and no.
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Yes, like but it's not detachment with everybody go fuck themselves kind of thing. It's detachment with
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wishing a good intent to everybody involved. And I think that one is the difference maker in this whole thing. All right, guys. Stay tuned a little bit later this week, I will get the rest of chapter six out there. There's still quite a bit more
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potent material. Probably a quick one after that, because we will do some exercises. A couple more exercises and just a few more pages to dig into here for you guys. Hopefully, you are enjoying Are you ready to succeed in the voice of spiritual dope, hopefully you're enjoying everything that's going on out there. This is 2021
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and it has literally already begun.
Transcribed by https://otter.ai