ARE YOU READY TO SUCCEED | CHAPTER 04 | DEEP DIVE 3 of 3
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Brandon Handley 0:01
Well, hello, welcome back. We are here on spiritual dope. Brandon Handley with a I'm just playing with video stuff here. Sorry, my bad I got distracted squirrel. Chapter Four, you can't kill it and it won't shut up. Yes. I'm sure you've tried to go to sleep at night, your mind just won't shut up and just keep keep going and going and going. Anyways, we are on chapter We're on chapter four. And we're at this exercising this exercise of present moment awareness. Again, this is coming out of Sreekumar. Rouse, are you ready to succeed book. And just based on a conversation I had earlier this week with somebody close the organization. As long as I kind of give out information about where this is coming from, then I can use it some as my understanding. So I just want to make sure this is this is not mine, this is coming out straight straight from the book. But I just want to give you a little bit about the exercise. So you know, pick one day to do everything, deliberately and unhurriedly. Like, I made fun of myself, because I was watching a TV show while typing out my outline. So don't do that. Or let's say you're in a meeting, or you're just talking to someone, put your phone fucking down, put it down, put your phone down, and just hang out for me, right, there's nothing in the world happening on your phone, right now that you can't talk to someone just with full attention for a little bit. He also talks a little bit about you know, where it says, do everything deliberately on her lead doesn't mean do it slow, doesn't mean slow down, it means like, just do it so that you're not in a rush, do it without a frantic pace. still recall, you know, one of the things my mom would always be haste makes waste, right? You know, but deliberately and unhurriedly, right, there's no rush, don't be rushed. If somebody you know, somebody is like trying to rush you through something, it's like, they're asking you to make a mistake. So it's almost like a guarantee. So you just, you know, don't react to that state law, I'm gonna do, I'm gonna do my best I'm gonna do these things I'm gonna do with deliberation. And I'm going to do with intention. And I'm not rushed to do this. There's, we live in like this. things need to be done fast, need to be done quickly. You know, but it's not, don't don't. So do it with intention and deliberation, so firm and deliberate to one step at a time, these are some of the words that he uses in the book, you know, methodical, right, you know, create a method, plan it out. And then you know, kind of follow along with the methodology that you create throughout time as you go through it. Let go of the mental models of how it should be and let go of your idea of what you think the results should be too, which is also pretty cool. So, you know, do do the things with this deliberation and unhurriedly, do these things one step at a time methodically. And then let go of what your idea of what the results should be, you know, you've got an intention, set your intention, make that be the thing, but then let go of that. And what you'll find is that a lot of times when you let go, but the idea those results should be something comes back to you that's almost greater than you could have imagined possible, which is something that that I've seen in my own life, so and then really listened to others. remove yourself from the picture in while they're talking. Maybe don't imagine yourself in their place. I don't know I say that, because that's what I do, right? Somebody is talking, I'm like, oh, let me My mind is puts me in there. I'm like, that doesn't work out. So remove yourself from the picture. And just imagine that person in the picture. And that's pretty powerful as well. So look, here's the deal. Being able to be 100% to present to all things is certainly not expected. However, if you do try, you will get far more done, which much less stress. And ideally, and once you sample some of these results, you want to do the exercise more often. And again, I'll tell you, just from experience, it's not like I'm doing less, by not all tabbing or checking emails or whatever. It I'm still doing this I'm still putting the same amount of effort and energy and all things that I'm doing except for now. It's more focused
Unknown Speaker 4:52
and intentional,
Brandon Handley 4:54
and it has a better result. And you'll there's less stress involved because your login and not all tabbing you're not trying frantically trying to bat everything away or better thing down or, you know, you're not the the goalie in hockey net, you're trying to block all the things coming through. It's just, it's just you and the one thing that you're focused on with, with the full knowledge that you're being deliberate, you're being intentional, and you're, you're giving space for for that which is right in front of you. So second exercise in this piece, too is a this is a companion exercise is not not necessarily that you have to do it. But it does not replace the first exercise. So it says a, for seven days, eat one meal in complete silence. Pay close attention to the act of eating too slowly, thoughtfully, include all all the details. With your eating, right, the saliva that's like coming into your mouth your teeth as they cut through the food, like what are the sensations, right? What are the subtle flavors? You know, what about your hunger pangs? When do you get hungry when did and then when do they go away. And then you'll bring the same level of attention to your drinks as well. And you'll find you'll just find yourself that more much more deeply immersed into your experience. And there's so many studies to that show, if you just kind of eat with full attention you just it's better for you and her body. So you can do this with your significant other or maybe your children or you know family members if you if you if you'd like but so long as it is done in complete silence to each mouthful 30 times and by that time is your mouse cuz it's gonna be like weird. And he recommends that hey, you know, do this, especially if you if you have food issues. If food is is one of the things that you're challenged with, then give it a shot. I can tell you right now these these are both tough, they're super tough. I haven't done the the seven days eat one meal please silence I have done the exercise present moment awareness. But we are so we are so distraction oriented, right we are so you know, distraction driven, versus, you know, being present in the moment being there that it's a challenge. Some common reactions and helpful hints. Look, he says nearly everyone will find it impossible. Be mindful 100% of the time. The thing is, is do not berate yourself, let's say if you lose your witness, either, right? Don't Don't, don't get upset with yourself, don't beat yourself up. It's totally normal. You know, and and, you know, you're going to lose the witness, you're going to lose your ability to pay 100% Attention all the time, because again, this is brand new, right? And if you can, he says here, if you can summon the witness a couple dozen times a day, you're doing very well. I'll make a recommendation out there, put it on your phone somewhere, make a sticky, figure out some way to remind yourself to summon the witness, I know that I'm not the greatest at it. Again, I'm not going to beat myself up over it. But it'd be nice if I put a reminder for myself and I would see it more often. Right? You will immediately notice you're less carried away. If you retain if you remain, you remain. You'll you'll immediately notice you're less carried away when you're going through all this and it's really it is it's it's awesome. Right? The stress levels diminished much greater than you could probably imagine. And then if you can retain the witness in throes of emotion even better look, if you've got children, if you're married, if you're anybody in the world in 2020 you're going through some frustrating times you're you know what frustration is I get frustrated. Sometimes you do act out of out of emotion, right? But if you've got this witness, and you do this quick zoom out. It could be in the middle of an argument. I know that this happened that way for me, you do this quick zoom out. And you just look at yourself arguing with somebody over nothing.
makes it so easy. It's like an immediately you're like, stop. It's enough. And you can just just like that. It's like instantaneously putting out a fire, even if it was like, even if it was as hot as the sun, right instantaneous, just like that, it's, it's amazing. If you have a massive resistance to eating mindfully, don't shove yourself into there, again, forcing yourself to do something that is totally not up, you're up your alley. That's okay, you know, just use gentle force no more. And then over time, you know, the resistance will go away, just like anything else. And the more you do just a little bit of that thing, it expands. Over time, you'll look back and be like, holy shit, look at how far I've come. A couple things here. He says, Hey, people, notice that they're full, long before their plate is empty. benefits, right. And it tends to, you know, sustained weight loss occurs frequently with the eating mindfully exercise. And look, the idea, again, to be mindful at all times, is challenging. And again, you will, you'll catch yourself, you know, trying to do it all at the same time. And, and trying to imagine, maybe that you're not doing it as well as you should. Because the chances are, like, I should be an expert at this, if you've been trying for like a week or a day, you know, and it's common, he says to feel overwhelmed, right. And the deal is, if you begin to feel overwhelmed, well, I'm simplify, right and I he gives a really nice tip here is to pick a couple of slots that are no longer than 10 to 15 minutes in duration. And just like with the eating piece, you know, as you become more comfortable, right, with little bits of time, you'll be able to expand on the amount of time that you are able to be mindful, I don't believe that anyone is 100% mindful at all times, but you know, look just try your best right and and remember that if you're just starting this journey that give yourself some grace, right, give yourself some allowance to to grow into yourself. So as your practice grows, your witness will grow stronger. Imagine that you're in an unsavory area and you've got people that come to your door knocking and you're like they'd knock on the door you open it up you crack it open and they smell like they smell like alcohol marijuana then look man you know you know the area these are guys and gals that you're like nope, nope, no, thank you, you slammed the door shut you guard that door your life Well, you need to protect your mind with the same intensity that you protect your your overall life and well being. Same story was told to me in a very similar fashion. Imagine you've got cancer, right? Imagine you've got cancer, don't you go out and get the best help that you can afford or is even available? Right? Your mind is no different. Your mind is no different when you let it go and waste away. You've basically got you know cancer of the mind, you need to tend to that shit you need to need to make sure that you're very mindful of what you let in what types of media do you allow into your mind? We're so the leusd by violence and derogatory media, you know, that'll happen in different types of music, different types of shows different types of videos that we watch. And it's like, what are these programs really telling you about the how the world really is? Right? And you got to ask yourself these you know, what type of emotional space these these things leave you in? When you're done watching it? Do you feel relaxed at peace and full of joy and wonder Are you
Unknown Speaker 14:03
hyped
Brandon Handley 14:04
up, strung out breathing fast and like filled with tension? These are questions he says to ask. I think they're really good ones. Is your forehead furrowed or smooth? Are your muscles tight or relaxed? And you know, it's a better question is how do you want to feel? And if these programs are making you feel, you know, all jacked up like you're tense at the end? Is that how you want to feel? Because again, this is this is the stuff that you're allowing in your life you have control over that. Don't Don't think that you don't see the news? Do you watch the news? I haven't watched the news and like so long. I can't tell you just how great I feel about it. I know that there's plenty of people out there like Hey, you got to be up with current events. Is that the other thing? Do I
Unknown Speaker 14:51
Do you?
Brandon Handley 14:52
How is that serving you?
Unknown Speaker 14:54
All right.
Brandon Handley 14:56
And this year, I mean, look, this year, the news has brought and you know, this level of awareness but it's also brought this crazy sense of tension to our to our world, right? The focus on COVID Yeah, we need to know about it, but like the the 24 seven, focus on it? What's it doing for you? Right? How's that making you feel? Black Lives Matter, you know? How's that making you feel like What the What's going on in the world right now we are in such like this. You know, imagine you've got a rubber band in your hand. And it's like the, you know, the big one on broccoli, the big purple one, he stretched it out in the fuckers hard as hell to stretch out anyways. And then like, for some reason, it breaks and snaps your hand and like, fuck manage? Oh, you just get pissed about it. Right? That's like, that's like watching the news, you know, the things are going on that they, you know, tend to share or the things that make you say the fuck, right? Like, is our world really like that chance? And the answer is? Yes, it is. There's that isolated incident that made it on camera. But again, that's an isolated incident that does need attention. But it doesn't need to be the thing that is blasting at you 24. Seven. And that, you know, that's inclusive of just entertainment, where you're watching people get killed. Murdered means all the time. Is that does that make you feel good, right is that what you want to see is that what you want to go to sleep at night, seeing in your brain and dreaming of? I know I don't. So sorry to drive that one home. So I love this, I love this quote, It is better to allow yourself to cut is it better to allow yourself to be cut with a sharp knife than to read a wrong thought into your mind that was a Swami Sivananda who is actually used to be a medical doctor as well. Look, your mind is precious can protect it, the witness will hold up a mirror and show you what it is that you are really doing. The knowledge that you you know, you kind of watch yourself in that way in and not attached. Simply observational manner, it will it will produce change all on its own. Right. As you go through, you will build up a lot of momentum. It's going to take some time to make its way through. And the thing is to when you recognize that your witness is missing. When you recognize that you're going at this alone, you know, go out find your witness be like Yo bro, where'd you go? What's up, I'm done persistently. change will happen. And I can tell you, you don't even have to do it persistently, just any any amount. Even over a short period of time, you will notice a definite difference. And I can also tell you that when you go to like stop it right when you go. You're no longer doing it. When at any point when you do notice that the witness is missing. You'll you'll notice it in a manner that because it'd be like something's missing. Right? That's it? Yeah. You'll notice it. You'll notice something and be like something's missing. What is it? And then you'll remember that as the witness, you'll remember that is your mindfulness practice. And that's it guys. That is it from chapter number four. You can't kill it and it won't shut up. But you can leverage it. You can leverage it, it can be your friend. That chatter can turn into that seemingly painful antagonizing chatter of like hell, so that motherfucker, you know, you can you can make go away and you can convert that into your strongest champion. champions, right? So I encourage you to cultivate your witness and tune back in guys I'm so excited listen to for those of you that have listened for those of you that have participated, and spiritual dope, thank you so much. 2020 has been one hell one hell of a year that I don't think you will ever forget. And 2021 has a lot of really awesome things coming up for it in terms of for you.
I guarantee you you've got some really awesome things coming up. And then I also I want to tell you that you know, 2021 has some really awesome things coming up for spiritual dope. Have some amazing guests coming up. One of those this week Mr. Rao, I was able to secure a, a, an interview with him. And that's just part of the miracles that have been created my year in 2020. And there's so many other awesome and amazing guests and I'm so thrilled to be able to do this with you for those of you that have been reaching out and sharing your thoughts on the podcast, thank you. It means the world to me and I hope to we'll continue on. Alright, we will continue on and looking forward to bringing you the best that I can. When I'm able, right so take it easy. This should be out for the holidays of 2020 enjoy your holiday season be safe, be well and until the next one
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