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Published: Feb. 28, 2021, 1:19 p.m.

What do you do when you are diagnosed with cancer?

Do you curl up and ask why God why?

Or do you look for ways to serve?

I have known Allan Dubon for quite some time now, a few years at least...

A year ago at this time, we touched base for a brief conversation, and he asked me what he could do for the podcast I had been working on... and while we chatted, he told me that he had Leukemia.

My mind imploded a bit, and it was a continuation of his regular self... someone who is out there to serve you no matter what your field or background is.

Take a listen to hear where Allan learned how to give, even if, especially if you have nothing, and the impact it can have on your life.

Brandon Handley 0:00
4321 Hey there spiritual dope. Brandon Handley here on with my good friend Alan do bond Allen has had quite a bit of impact on on the result actually, Alan, I reached out to you. When I thought of spiritual dope, I was like spiritual dope. And Alan and I'd worked together on the prosperity practice when I did that. I was like, I want to do this thing you're like, Well, are you sure you really want to do the same? Or is that just another shiny object? I'm like, No, bro.

Unknown Speaker 0:34
I'm in. I'm

Brandon Handley 0:35
all in. And Alan was part of giving me the green light. And I think what's really fun out is just as earlier this week, I'd interview somebody else that has been a big part of of helping to create the space that I'm in today. Right? So I'm really glad that what I'm able to do is share some of the people that have helped me to get to where I am today, with everybody else, right? Like, you know, it's not like, it's not like I did this by myself. Right. And I think that's really important to know, like, I didn't do this by myself.

Allan Dubon 1:07
Like, I love how, how this has worked out way better than prosperity practice. You know?

Brandon Handley 1:13
Yeah, it's interesting. It's so interesting. But before before we get into all that, right? Before we get into any of that, actually, and this is about you. This is about you today. Let's give the audience a little bit of you know, who is our bond? Let's get the let's get the background. Who are you? What are you doing here? What's

Allan Dubon 1:28
up? You know, I would have answered this question differently about a year ago, considering and I know, we'll get into all that. So I won't deep dive into that yet. But I'm really what what I've learned that I am, is I'm a guide for people to change their lives for the better. And I tend to go down the business route for that, you know, I came from, from immigrant parents. And, you know, my dad took off when I was nine, and, you know, poverty, you know, you can call a lot of it a sob story kind of stuff, you know, the other sad points that that are there and, and I just kind of use that to drive me to work harder, and promise to never be back in that by my own choice. You know, so yeah, so do you like business consulting and, and connecting with amazing people like you, and just try to serve the world with my talents as best I can.

Brandon Handley 2:30
Hello, brother, and you really do you do a great job of it? And you know, by connecting with others? I've never once seen you be like this over marketing guy. Maybe you were at one point. I don't know. I know. I was like a man. I was like, hey, look at all my shit. I was like, hey, and like, you know, here's 20 questions, engage, engage, engage, engage, engage. And then like, you know, fuck it. Anyways. You know, I think but I think that there's a place for that. Everybody has to learn some way. But I appreciate what you do, how you go about it. And I think you're the genuine, genuine deal. So that being said, what I like to start us off with is the idea that there's somebody out there who is listening in and they're listening for, like, you know, source talks through you and I right, yeah, listening to what source has to say to them? Through you today. What is that message?

Allan Dubon 3:27
Oh, that's big man. For me, it's don't wait. Don't wait to do the things that you've been saying you're going to do. And it really comes from, like this past year that that have gone through March of last year, which we're in the end of January here. So just shy of a year, I found that I had leukemia. And, man, you want to talk about a gut check, you know, and I come from the world of medical lab science, I actually worked in the laboratory for the cancer clinic hospital I went to a couple of years ago. So you know, just kind of knowing that, you know, we all know we're gonna die at some point, but we all kind of think it's further along. It's another time and you know, unless you're sick, right? But you're not sick. I was doing great. I was losing weight. I was getting healthy, working out every day. And all of a sudden, everything just changed in my world stop. And so I realized I may not have the time that I thought I had to accomplish the things that I wanted to accomplish. And so for me, it's don't wait, get get to it.

Brandon Handley 4:51
Yeah, I love that. I think another message that you are a big proponent of as well as is, you know, stop playing small All right. So let's talk a little bit about again, you know, let the don't wait, right? What are some of the things that you felt like you were waiting on that you felt like you had time to accomplish? And then like, you know, going through the sickness, you know, what were some of those, you know, things got hammered home, right? Like, oh, shit, if I get, look, I, you may not have been this guy, man. Dear God, if I get out of this, I want to do this. There's no need to peanut butter sandwiches, right? So, you know, what were some what were some of the promises, like maybe you made to yourself while you laid there and gone through this? And then, you know, where do you see those going?

Allan Dubon 5:44
Yeah, part of it was realizing a little bit more of what's important. So I've gotten kind of caught up in my identity as a provider. And I think that happens to men a lot, you know, at least from my experience. And so I was really pushing that provider thing, you know, my wife would, she was very good at saying, Hey, we need you. And that's okay, well, let me calm down the business a little bit, you know, rearrange some stuff at work, and, you know, take me a couple weeks to wind that down to, to be able to give them more time. And sometimes that was the frustration, right? I'm doing this for you guys, for my wife and for my kids. And, you know, I think sometimes when you you come from poverty, and you get a chance to not be there, you drive that part home, but you forget, I may still be here, but I can be an absentee Dad, you know, and I don't think I got that far. But, but I definitely could have fallen into that trap, you know. So that's kind of one of the big things that that came from that and then, you know, not waiting to travel and stuff. Like, my wife and I talked about traveling for a long time. And, and it was, well, we'll do this, we'll do that. You know, and, and now it's okay, as soon as things get a little bit, right with my health a little bit, you know, thank goodness, I'm cancer free. Now. Now, it's just getting getting more strength back in my body, and getting what I like to lovingly call my puppy shots, and get my vaccines because it wipes out your whole immune system. And so, once I get vaccinated, a little bit of strength, and we kind of recover a little bit from the the financial hit, that comes with something like this. It's traveling, you know, so that's gonna be a big thing for us. And then I think the third biggest lesson was, get out of debt. Like, you know, we didn't have crazy amounts of debt. But I'll tell you what, when you're, when you're looking at it, and you say, if I die, I wasn't afraid of death, I was free to leave my family crippled with debt and other stuff that I took care of. And we could go through, you know, as when things are normal. Now I'm very focused on we're going to get out of debt, so that if anything ever happens, we don't have to worry about that. No,

Brandon Handley 8:24
no, that's powerful. Right? It's powerful. I love the idea, right? You know, you always you always putting something off, because of, you know, when we have enough or when is the right time, right. And then there's also the idea of, you know, just like you said, you know, what else is important as you know, to have that family time, right, you that's something that you can never get back. Right? You can never you can never get that back. And I know that I'm guilty of, you know, kind of the same thing you're talking about sometimes it's ways too far, one way, right? The pendulum is always swinging, right? It's like, is there too much time with them? Is this forced time and they can tell like they can tell like you're just making time just to make time? Right? Like, they're like, No, just go away. We don't even want to hang out with you. Right? And then there's a time when you know, you're everybody's there and it's a it's a good time, right? Like, I know that we spent last night watching Ant Man like all together just like impromptu, right. And it was just it was just great. Like there was no it was no no force to it. And everyone's just kind of chillin and I'm remember, just now on the fucking couch watching anime hanging out, right because that was great. Let's talk about like, the spiritual side of it right? Because I know that again. We were talking a little bit before here. I love that you brought this up like how you were, you were forced to kind of determine whether or not like what you believe spiritually was showing up in your world outside and it caused you to kind of take a deep look at that. Something I'm definitely curious about, especially going through what you went through, right? having known you, you know, a little bit prior to and a little bit after him, I'm definitely curious to see kind of what's changed for you in that in that aspect.

Allan Dubon 10:12
Yeah. You know, it's, it's one of those things that pretty much covered your bullshit, right? Like, where? Where is it? Where is it Bs and where is it real? You know, and, and I think sometimes it becomes that trial of your faith, as far as you got to prove it. And it's never perfect, right? Just kind of like life. And you know, you're never the perfect Dad, you're never the perfect husband. But you can be a really damn good one, you know?

Unknown Speaker 10:38
Sure. Real quick.

Brandon Handley 10:39
Absolutely. Real quick, though. Do you have a faith background? Do you have a faith based background?

Allan Dubon 10:44
Yeah, yeah. I was born when I was born, we were Catholic. And, you know, I think that's a default setting on Latinos. Know, that, you know, everybody we knew was Catholic and all that kind of stuff. And then we moved to Utah. And we became LDS, you know, are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. And, and that's been my, my background. You know, and it's been really interesting. Because I don't fit necessarily that mold as as ultra conservative ultra, this, you know, ultra that. But it's, it's brought a lot of great value to me, and a lot of a lot of where my understanding comes from, you know, and so, you know, when when I was told what happened, you know, hey, you've got your white blood cell count 68,000. Well, like I said, I'm a lab scientist who is trained in cancer stuff in blood cancers. I told the doctor, I'm like, Well, shit, that's cancer. I know. She goes, yep, she goes, I can't tell you. Because you know, you got to do all the confirmatory, especially, but you and I both know, it's cancer. I was like, yep. Okay, cool. Here we go. You know, and at first, everything happens so fast, you don't have time to think you're scared, but you don't quite know what you're scared of. it because it's happening so fast. But once I got into the hospital, I'm sitting there, and you know, you get a long time even, even though my wife was there. She's in her head with her thoughts. I'm in my head with my thoughts. You know, we'll hold hands and stuff, but sometimes, it's like, she wasn't there. For both ways, right? Like to her I wasn't there. And

Brandon Handley 12:39
yeah, man, look, I mean, you guys just both like, speculating on what the hell is? What's the future? What's the future hold right now? Because, you know, somebody says cancer, and you're like, well, I don't know that I'm gonna have all the time that I need to get everybody to where they got to get to and do all these things. You know, house, you know, vice versa, right? Like in here, like how, you know, how do I get through this? Right? How do I get through this stick with my family? I still never been to Brazil, and I gotta go. Right? Right. Like, I never make Carnival shit. I always make carnival. Right. And I never went like, I mean, you know, Jesus, if you saved me now.

Allan Dubon 13:18
You know, and, you know, funny you say that. And I and, and I don't think it's bad. If that's where you default to, like, Hey, I'm going to promise to do this. You know, we hear about stuff from religious folks, they religious leaders that have done that, and that's how they change their life, you know. But, but I really didn't want to fall into that I wanted to be as I guess, real as I could about it, you know, definitely promised to be a little bit better. You know, obviously, you know, I think that's human default. But, but I didn't want to negotiate with God. Because because in my opinion, it's already kind of written out a little bit. You know, I'm not a, I'm not a no matter what I do is going to end up this way. But but very much like, I think I don't, you know, so I'm not gonna win, right. I

Brandon Handley 14:06
mean, there's the there's God's got a plan for everybody kind of thing. Right.

Allan Dubon 14:10
Yeah. And so, you know, just kind of going through that. And it was one of the biggest things to me was, I've always said that I wasn't afraid of death. Maybe the mechanism of death. I don't know. Fire. Not so happy.

Unknown Speaker 14:25
Right, right. I think we all kind of go out in our sleep, right?

Allan Dubon 14:28
Yes, yes.

Brandon Handley 14:28
I'd like it to be asleep, painless. I mean, or, you know, whatever. big truck one

Allan Dubon 14:33
or the other. For sure. You know, so that's kind of where I was like, Okay, I'm here I am. I am a little nervous. But I had to, I had to think about it, right. And so it's like, well, I can't control that. If I die. That's not up to me. We can do everything we can on this side. But at the end, it's not up to me. And so it'll be The adventure and so if I die, and what I believe is true, then there's happiness on the other side. And it's a little sad because I'm leaving my family, but I'll know that they'll join me later, you know? Sure. If it's not true and not we don't exist after then I don't know better. So that's fine, too, you know? So, you know, there's there's that element, and then, but mostly it was, you know, we talked a little bit about this before was, is this a curse on me? Or is this a blessing on me? Is it all bad? Like, where's our attitude? You know? And, and I'll be honest, I went through a little bit of the Why me? God, I'm a good person, I help people. Sure, you know, and, and then I started thinking of like, well, Michelle's, my wife was like, Michelle's mom died of colon cancer. And from everything I hear about her, she's an amazing person better than me. Right? So why, why would I be better than her? In this negotiation, if you don't diagnose? Good, you know what I mean? Right, right. And I've met other people that I know, that are amazing people who cross the line, and they went to the other side, and so sure, you know, so there was that part. But I think what really pulled me out of this pity spiral that I like to call it is I, I went back to some of my core principles, and it was what do you do? When things suck, you do what you can, and then you serve others. And I learned that from my mom, we didn't have lots to eat, you know, growing up and, and stuff like that we get some pantry help from churches, or from the, you know, the state people that do that kind of stuff, right. But I remember she got connected with a local grocery store. And they, they were just throwing out their, their bread that had like a day left or whatever, you know, they they old or they day left or something like that. Sure. And she wouldn't talk to the baker and said, hey, why do you guys throw this out there like, well, it's only got a day and we can't sell it, you know, and we got new stuff coming out. So once or short, she got that connected to where we would go up there, we didn't have a car. So we would take these little push cart things, walk up to the store about a mile away. And the baker would give us the day old stuff so that we could give it away. Other folks who didn't have a lot of money, right? Well, that turned out to be so good. And my mom connected with enough people that after a while, they were sending a small box car full of a bunch of groceries that they were just throwing out. Yeah. And they knew my mom wasn't going to go sell it right now is the big thing. And so we were helping people from all over the state, you know, within reason, sugar, driving, distance and all that, but we didn't have some time stuff for ourselves to eat. And here we were helping other folks. You know, and I remember talking to my mom about it, and she says you serve others when when things get bad. You serve others. Yeah. And she goes when one of us eats we all eat. Yeah. And so I was like, okay, you know, and so when I when I got that pity in when I was in the hospital, and I was in there during the big COVID part, right? Yeah. But my wife was able to be there right at first. So that made it easier, scary, but easier. And then the second time I went in they they said nobody can be there with you. So now truly alone with my thoughts. Yeah, that's where it can get. Kinda.

Brandon Handley 18:41
Well, that's what I mean. I remember, I think you reached out to me. We reached out, we chatted with each other a little bit while you were in there, right? You're like, how can I help you? And I was just like, Yeah, I just love that. That was your attitude, right? Like, there you were, there's really no answers for you. Right? You got no answers. And you're going out kicking. Kicking right? Like it just it didn't, I'm sure there were there must have been moments where you know, you were just down, right? There's no, there's no way. You kind of get through all that you don't have a couple of those moments. But I love what you're saying they're they're right. When you're down and out. You know, you do do what you can for yourself that you know what you're in control of, and then you know, try to serve others. that's a that's a great, great way to be.

Allan Dubon 19:34
Yeah, and it's not easy, man. Like, and I don't say that, like, Oh, I'm awesome, because it wasn't easy, nothing like that. But sometimes I had to fake it and just try, you know, and and so, one of the things I was like, You know what, there's about 13 to 15 people that visit me every day, you know, between the doctors and the CNAs and the cleaning folks and you know everything that everybody comes in As I said, they're not always the same. It's a learning institution. You know, it's connected to the university and stuff. And so we get different kinds of folks coming in, and then some of the same people. And I thought, you know, let's learn their stories, because we get so caught up in Well, they're here to take care of me. Right? Yeah, that's their job. Right. And they do it very amazingly, by the way, shout out to Huntsman Cancer. Nice, because their people are just miles above any. I've worked in healthcare, my whole life, pretty much. And these guys are just miles above everybody else. But you know, it's still their job. Right? They're worried about their college credits their kids, their everything, right, for sure. And so I started to talk to them about the stuff that I was good at, you know, business and Future Planning and missing this and, and really helped me take my mind off of me. Sure. Self beneficial, you know, right. But we talked about their goals, and, you know, they come back and they didn't have tons of time. So this little 10 minutes thing, they're hooking me up or whatever, right on. And it's like, Cool, well, how's your classes? You know, there's a guy that that was in a freaking concentration camp. Or not concentration. When they're going away from like, a refugee, thank you refugee. See, there's my cancer fog, but I thought it was weird sometimes. But yeah, so he's in a refugee camp for several years, right, came over to the states started, started the process, you know, he started school, and there were some other friends that came with him from that camp. And, you know, life happened to him, you know, he got married and some other stuff, and now is not married. And, you know, so to get a little rough honey, he stopped his schooling, and he's like, ah, maybe I'm too old. Maybe I'm to this, like, Look, dude, let's get you back in school. You know, like, it's still your goal. So you had four years that, that didn't go the right way. Sure, I still gonna keep living. So those years are gonna keep ticking let's and so then he signed back up for school. That's awesome. He came back and thanked me and I can't I just can't tell you how amazing that felt that he was. I mean, I hate school. So I feel like I punished him. But you know, and as they know, it's gonna get his dreams and his career going and he wants to go be a nurse practitioner eventually. And so, you know, get some back on track to do that, you know, and talking to others about their life and their heart stories. And, you know, one of the nurses that told her she needs to read a book because she's had some siblings died, and her mom's died. And I think her dad was still around, but it was kind of sketchy. You know, how that went. And so, but she was pushed through all of that. And statistically, she shouldn't be there, right? statistically, she should be in the hood, just being poor and, and working a menial job. Right, and then falling into, or falling into the same traps that her parents were into, you know, right. But But she broke through, you know, and so, just kind of things like that, that, that really opened my eyes to, hey, yeah, they're health care workers. But but they're people first,

Brandon Handley 23:25
right? Right. Now,

Unknown Speaker 23:27
it's so easy, it's

Brandon Handley 23:28
so easy to lose sight of that, right? It's so easy to lose, you know, these people are here to save my ass. Right? And you forget that they're, you know, you can, you can easily forget that. There are people to just like you're saying, but, you know, I'm gonna lean back in again, one more time into, you know, kind of the serving people right to take, take it off yourself, even if even if, you know, sometimes you have to fake it, right? I just had this conversation this past week, like, even if you have to fake it a little bit. Yeah, even if it's not even coming from the most genuine place. It's still a lot better than just about anything else you could be doing. Right? Like even if you're like, even if you're certain, like in some point, at some point, it becomes there's a tilting point right? You know, for like a while here. I mean, we talked about this from when I when I did follow him for the rest of us, right? For a while there, it was like I'm doing this for all the wrong reasons. But then at some point, it's like, I'm like, that's just becomes who I am. And now I'm doing it for the right reasons. So it's just kind of like it's like a training mechanism training tool, right. So that now when you go out there and you're like, I'm, I'm serving to serve is there's really not this like there's not an mo right, there's not like something behind an agenda behind it. Right. And when you start doing that, like you start feeling like you know, sounds like you were feeling right, like you're connected, there's your your your your your mind is taken off of all of your woes when you're focused on helping somebody else. You know,

Allan Dubon 24:57
I've always well, not always When I learned this principle, I created a little saying it's, you become what you act. And so, and it's not a fake act, it's, if I want and I learned at first with weight loss stuff. You know, if I keep eating like a 350 pound man I'm gonna stay in. That's where I was right? So 350 was my number. And I'm like, if I want to weigh 180 or 200, I got to eat and move, like a person who's 180 or 200. And I'm not there yet, so I have to act like that. And am I gonna mess up? You betcha. I love ice cream. You know, you can poison me with peanut butter and ice cream. Those are my two. My two big things right. But that

Brandon Handley 25:47
ice creams are poisonous. No.

Allan Dubon 25:51
But, but it's okay. I messed up today. I had a big bowl of ice cream or whatever. Yeah, well, guys that weigh 200 eat ice cream. Yeah. But they don't eat it every single day. And they don't you know, when they enjoy a big indulgent thing, they might go for a run or walk longer. Wait, lift longer, right. And so it started being that it's, it's what you act you become. And so you know, that that's kind of, like

Brandon Handley 26:21
buying 100% man or buying 100% you know, me, this is again, you know, the exact process that I went through with my father and for the rest of us. And also just with anybody else out there that you're listening to like anybody you're you know, mentorship through even like, through all the online videos, YouTube and all the other stuff. Like, you start taking that on everything that this goes back to those sayings like you know, your weight. Are you Wayne Dyer fan? Yes or no?

Unknown Speaker 26:49
Yeah. Yeah. So

Brandon Handley 26:50
he's got that story. Like, you know, he asked me to say, so if I ask Alan, like, when I squeeze an orange, what am I gonna get out of it?

Allan Dubon 26:57
Oh, I don't know him that well.

Brandon Handley 26:58
So it says like, the answers on shoes, right, but like,

Allan Dubon 27:01
Oh, well, that he had something more special.

Brandon Handley 27:06
So the deal is, so that's all you can get out of it. Because that's all you know, that's all I can ever come out of it. Right? This is an orange juice. That's, that's what's inside of it. So the other idea though, is like, whatever you keep putting inside of yourself, that's all it's gonna be able to come out. Right. So this content that you're trying whoever it is that you're trying to become whoever it is that you're acting as if as I'm an acting as if you like, this is who I am now. That's all that can come out. Right? And you you act as if you, you consume all that and and you put all that in you and that's eventually quite literally all that can come out. It's It's It's uncanny. Right? And I think that it takes a takes a little bit of time. But once you make that decision and start to step into it, like you're, you're you're that 180 pound man that you're talking about, right? Yeah.

Allan Dubon 27:53
Yeah, I had a teacher tell me because I was I was going through some pity cycles stuff. You know, my dad's gone. We don't have a lot of money. And, you know, yeah, like, like, stacking up all the stuff that is against me

Brandon Handley 28:06
are now pretty limitations.

Allan Dubon 28:08
Yeah. And, and he told me, you know, you choose to be happy. And my young brain, I didn't say this to him out of respect from inside. I'm like, EFF you, dude. You got family, you got her perfect life a beautiful wife. You guys make money here as a teacher, so I thought they made money. Boy was Iraq. But, you know, so my head, his life was perfect. Sure. Well, he had a kid that was going through some stuff. And you know, it just wasn't perfect. Like I thought it was and he's not making the kind of money he should because he's a freakin teacher, you know. And so, you know, it all kind of clicked several years later, but I, for some reason, I always remembered him saying that. And then so I was still in that bad cycle. And I said, Okay, I'm going to choose to be happy. So I literally woke up and said, I'm going to be happy. And I felt like such a liar. You know, which I was, I wasn't happy. But I kept saying that every morning I kept saying and then all sudden, I just started being more positive. Sure, nice. My circumstances didn't change. They're still poor kid and, you know, all the others crap that that are talked about, but I chose to be happy. And so I think that's part of that was the beginning foundation of this stuff that I've learned and magnified through my cancer experience, you know,

Brandon Handley 29:42
which, you know, you talked about being called on your Bs, right, like, on what you believe? What were some of the things you felt like you were called on and your spirituality and like, you know, what, what kind of maybe got strengthened and how you apply that to this.

Allan Dubon 29:55
Um, part of it was, was talking to God right and So, to me, I don't think you have to necessarily get on your knees and, you know, Dear Heavenly Father kind of thing, like, I do that. But I also think that you can talk way more often. Like, there's times when you go talk to your parent that it's a little more formal. And then there's other times you're like, Hey, Mom, you know, what do you mean by this? You just throw it out there. And let her let her ruminate on that a while and she gets back to you. You know? So it's a little bit more of that, right? Like, and so it was, I did that more. And then it's like, why did I ever let that go? You know, and not that it was gone completely, but I wasn't doing it as much as like, I got an open channel, you know, like what you say, you know, God source universe, like, I love that, you know, because you can, you can label whatever you want. And

Brandon Handley 30:52
look at what it is, whatever it is, whatever, it clears that channel for you. Right? Like, if if you've got to tune in to Fox to get your information, you got to like, I mean, I don't care how you, you know what channel you call it, right? But it's the one it's, it's a filtration system, right? Your mind is a filtration system, right? And you're in like, for a lot of a lot of other people like the word God is just it's a bad fucking filter, right? Yeah. So if I call it universe, I'm totally Oh, universe. Well, that's different. Right? Like, let me tune into that. I feel it's right. So. So there's just there's like this open lane of something that's never been filtered. Right. So so that way that just like, like, it's just a brilliant conduit. So that's why that's, that's my reasoning and logic. I'm getting closer to being able to use God myself, like just, you know, being comfortable with it, because it's not something I was ever comfortable with. Yeah, but I'd like to hear so tell me more about like, what are some of the conversations you have? Right? What's some of the feedback?

Allan Dubon 31:59
It was, it was a lot of, you know? Am I fulfilling my purpose? Am I being good enough to people? You know, am I loving my wife enough? Like, you know, I'm thinking here my time, my might, my temp, my ticket might get stamped here in a second, you know, and I get on that train to the other side, you know, and so, did I do enough to show my wife I loved her, I cared about her was a good enough man to her. You know, just all these things? And same thing with my children? Did I teach them enough lessons that they're going to be? Okay. Like, like, if I go out? Yeah, they're gonna suffer some, and they're gonna be sad, and they're gonna know, but that I give them enough tools to work through their life, to learn things to be good to other folks and to become good members of society, you know, and be able to take care of their families. Did I do enough of that? You know, did I serve my fellow man enough? Or was it all lip service? I could put it on Instagram, you know,

Brandon Handley 33:14
call me out, bro.

Allan Dubon 33:19
Lot of that kind of stuff. And

Brandon Handley 33:21
so what was I mean, you know what, you know? What were some of the responses that you felt like you got?

Allan Dubon 33:30
I felt that I was told that I had done well with what I knew. And that I was going to be given a chance to be even better.

Brandon Handley 33:40
So you had a sense of hope? Yeah. That message me a response message, right?

Allan Dubon 33:47
Yeah, there's times where I'm like, I think my I think I'm hoping I think I'm telling myself,

Brandon Handley 33:53
I got the wrong line.

Allan Dubon 33:55
That was me saying to me, like, you're not gonna die, you know? Cuz that's a great

Brandon Handley 34:00
question, though. Right? How do you differentiate from you know, this is a, you know, I'm sure it's a slippery slope, but like, how do you differentiate the response that you get from yourself versus when you get from God?

Allan Dubon 34:12
To me it was, or at least what I felt right. It was a feeling. Yeah, it was. It was a feeling that I didn't feel like I was doing it for me. Like being told that I was going to live through this sometimes felt scarier than Hey, you're checking out in too much. Yeah, cuz you got a lot of bills you're racking up.

Brandon Handley 34:34
You're gonna have to show up for like, you're like really, really? Well, you know, listen, if I just finished up this pudding and, and roll out like, I'm cool with that. Because Yeah, because there's there must have been some of that thought too, right? Like, be like, holy shit. Like, when I come out of this, like, I might even be destitute, I'm going to be worse off like, yo, you know, the struggles are going to be real, right? Like, what's the quality of life going to be if I if I if I do get to live This Yeah,

Allan Dubon 35:01
yeah, those are all real. That's the not pretty part of it. Right? Not that there's really any part of it right? Yeah. But you know what I mean, though, like, like, there's stuff for you like, Yes, I got to ring the bell, because that's kind of a big thing in cancer stuff is when you when you're told you're sorry, my daughter calls me when somebody rings it. But But, uh, that's funny on a ring. You know, it's, it's one of those things. It's like, okay, yeah, I get a ring the bell and I get to say, you know, cancer free or I finished my transplant or, you know, what, what does that mean? Like, I walked out of there looking like a freaking cancer patient. I'm a brown guy, and I was pretty white, we were pretty pale. You know, and, and then I lost like, 100 pounds. And he wants

Unknown Speaker 35:55
to do it that way.

Allan Dubon 35:56
Yeah, you know, I couldn't pick up 50 pounds. And I know, this is from a guy who could pick up 300 pounds with relative ease, you know, like, yeah, it's heavy, but I could do it, you know. And now I can't even pick up 50 pounds, it was heavy, can you open my

Brandon Handley 36:13
eyes that must have felt like, you know, especially coming from, you know, Western society, being a male needing to be kind of this strong guy and facing your mortality, and then also facing like, you know, all these things that you couldn't do, and needing help, especially when you've labeled yourself and identified as the provider.

Allan Dubon 36:33
Yeah. Well, and, and also the protector, right? and stuff growing up against women and that I don't stand for, like, I can't tolerate that. And now being in a position that if somebody came up and slapped my wife, or my kids are some, I pretty much I got to sit there and you know, like, I still go fight them, but they kicked my ass, you know?

Brandon Handley 36:56
I'll come in for you.

Allan Dubon 36:58
You know, but but it's, it's that thing. Like I could not protect my family. And that, that both financially and physically right. So that, that messes my head a lot. Well,

Brandon Handley 37:09
I mean, that I mean, that's the whole like, I mean, I hate to, again, I'm not a genius, dude, I'm not big on the Bible, but like, kind of the meek shall inherit the earth or like, kind of going through that feeling like, feeling I'm not even saying like, you know, you're inheriting the earth, but like you going through this process of just being completely and totally. You've got to surrender right to everything. So I mean, yeah, tell me a little bit about, you know, applying that to your situation because surrenders big, big one, for sure.

Allan Dubon 37:36
You know, my wife and I discussed this, we didn't use that word. I wish I would have had it. And I'm gonna talk to her tonight when she gets home from work, you know? But, uh, you know, she's like, How can you be so calm about this, you know, cuz she'd have moments where she just she tried to be so strong, like, too strong. And then it would break. And so she cried. I'm like, I'm sorry. You're the one going through this. And we know, we are going through this. You know, and, and so one of the things that I told her as I said, I had to give up, not give up on fighting, give up on controlling any of this. We are not in control, not you know, we talked about believing in God and that he's in control. I said, we're still human, we still want to be in control. And we think this, we think that we're in control of stuff. We're not not at, all right.

Brandon Handley 38:29
Wrong, people are flying through the sky and all these other things. We're like, I got this, right. Thomas Moore.

Allan Dubon 38:36
Yeah. So like, you know, one of the biggest things was they had to stick a needle in my back, all the way into my spinal cord, pull out spinal, cerebral spinal fluid, awesome. And then put in methotrexate chemo and another candidate I remember the other 10 was called a screw

Brandon Handley 38:55
for the bone for how to

Allan Dubon 38:57
go Yeah, sir, to make sure that the if anything went past the, the brain barrier, then if they killed that too, right, because that's my kind of leukemia likes to hide there. And so they check it do a count and then put that stuff back and tell you what and they don't they numb the spot where they put it in, that's it, you don't get anything else. So you are wide awake and you know, fully lucid and you know, stuff like that. And you know, they punctured into my lung to get a biopsy when I got pneumonia and you know, once again, they just numb the spot. And the rest of you is very much awake, you know. And so these things are are pretty scary, because of the level of payments that are they can numb it up but there's still pain. Yeah. And, and then the lack of control. Right?

Brandon Handley 39:55
Right. Like you got no control over that I

Allan Dubon 39:57
got I can control my breathing. Not flinching, you know? And so that's all I focused on. Like, if I flinch, they could hit a nerve. They can collapse my lawn, you know? And a real comfortable stuff, right? You didn't know you'd get an anatomy lesson here. But what I controlled my breathing, right? What I could, right. So this is kind of coming back to that, that pity party stuff, I control what I can and then I serve others. So Mike Okay, how the hell do you serve others when they're stabbing something in your back? Those came through the back one of the top for the lungs and one, you know, times it wasn't just a one time thing you know, we talked about stuff I used to sell real estate. So we talked about real estate and the guy was buying a house and something oh, you know, ask your mortgage lender this and do that and don't buy this. And he's like, dude, how are you? Like, so focused on a mic? Because if I focus on what you're doing, I'm gonna freak out.

Brandon Handley 41:00
Right, right, right. Now that's true, right?

Allan Dubon 41:04
Totally self serving.

Brandon Handley 41:06
But again, you know, again, like, you know, you're doing it to, you know, you're doing it in a way is like, how can I still help this person along? And when you're doing that, again, like, it's just, it's almost like a burdens lifted off you. And it's really also a lot how we start the podcast off, right? Like, there's something that if you open yourself up to it, right? Like, if you're asking a question is how can I serve this person? What can I do to serve this person? source will provide you with something, right? And while you're filled with doing that thing, you're essentially being filled with source, right? Like you're, you know, so there's this kind of life giving thing flowing through you, so that you can provide to this other person and it takes away your pain, man.

Allan Dubon 41:50
Yeah, it's how I surrendered back to the original thought of this. Yeah. How I surrendered, it was forced on me, I could always decline you. They always tell you, you don't have to do any of this. We can just give you stuff to keep you comfortable. And I gotta live. I have to be right. You know, I got kids, I got to fight for my wife. I got to fight for you know. And so as like, if you guys think I got a shot, I'm fighting he, you know, we're doing this. Yeah. But they always say, Hey, you got a choice. You don't have to do this. All right. Well, my surrender was, I can pray all day. But if I just pray and don't take the action, you know, back to the Bible. Faith without works is dead, right? Yeah. So yeah, God is powerful. But he's given us science. He's given us all of these tools that aren't yet. Right. But they're the best things that we have.

Brandon Handley 42:45
But yeah. Yeah, for our level of understanding, right, yeah, we can

Allan Dubon 42:51
eat healthy, we can do good. But the blueberries not gonna take away the cancer. You know.

Unknown Speaker 42:57
I love antioxidants.

Allan Dubon 42:59
But, but I can eat the good stuff to help feed my body so that it's can tolerate what's going to happen to it a lot better. Right. And he got that's kind of the approach I took was faith, body nutrition, which I'm still not perfect at. And, and science, right, let them do what they're gonna do. I can control what goes in my mouth. And sometimes I don't choose well, because of ice cream.

Unknown Speaker 43:30
Most tracks.

Brandon Handley 43:32
So when Yeah, let's just talk a little bit about how like maybe your has this change kind of your, you know, going through the cancer, reconnecting. having these conversations with God. How do you feel like that's helping you move forward for a more fulfilling life right now?

Allan Dubon 43:48
You know, it really woke me up. Like what I said at the beginning, you don't have time. You just don't? Yeah, so it's a little more urgency. Not enough fear, like, Oh, crap, I'm gonna die. But in a dude, I gotta get my butt moving. I can't half asset, you know? Sure. And that the world is good. You know, we've we've seen a lot of craziness, no matter what, you know, here in the States, no matter what political side you're on, there's craziness on both sides. Sure. And, and, you know, manifests in different ways. And, and so there's a lot of that, and the news media wants to just sell us scary stuff, you know, tornadoes, politics, you know, and everything else in between. But I got a chance. This is where the blessings come in. I got a chance to not have to focus on that. I didn't have the energy to focus on that. While I was crazy, I didn't have to write right. And I get to see what beautiful people there are in the world, huh? I got to see people. You know, my my wife's cousin. Just Did a little GoFundMe for us, you know, one of the people that donated reminded me that story of the widow's mite, you know, the rich guys were tightening everything and just throwing buckets of money in. And she threw in essentially a quarter, you know, or whatever. And because that's all she had, well, there's a lady who she's like, on her third round of cancer, her husband and her son have died of cancer. Wow. And like, all of this crap, and she gave 20 bucks. And she was amongst the smallest donations monetarily. But I'll tell you what, to me, she stood out the most. Because here she is. I'm getting I'm really starting to understand at that point. I haven't even seen the biggest bills, but I'm starting to see him and I'm like, holy poop, you know, like, how are we going to do this? Right? And here she was, has lost the stuff that's most important in her life. She's fighting alone. And she's willing to give me 20 bucks in my fight. Right? You know, and she doesn't really know me. She knows sister in law, you know? And so it was stuff like that people, how can we help you? How can we do this, you know, our next door neighbors, when I had to get in my very first time being admitted. They called us and within, they said, you need to be here within an hour. Well, I live 45 minutes away from the hospital, and they're like, be here within an hour or you lose your room. Oh, you know, and they're like, and you're kind of cancer needs immediate attention. Okay. So we go to the neighbors, essentially, my wife pretty much tells them here, take my kids, were going to the hospital, they didn't know I had cancer. Because we hadn't told anybody. We didn't want to stir the pot yet until we knew what we're fighting. Right? All of a sudden, it was real and right now, right? She's crying, and she's telling them and we don't know, when we're gonna be back. You know, her and her husband were like, go, just go. Don't worry about it. We can bring you clothes, we can go buy your underwear, what you will bring your stuff just go. Right, you know, don't miss your spot. And so we grabbed a couple things, you know, and I was there for two weeks. We didn't know that. Yeah. And I think I'll be honest, I don't really remember if my wife went home, she might after a few days to get some clothes, in and out. And then back. So my kids were with the neighbors then with my, my, my wife's brother, and his wife, you know, for a little bit and stuff like that. And so it was just people who stepped in, who have busy lives, they're doing their stuff, you know, right. And all of a sudden, our emergency and they're stepping in, you know, and just lots of acts of kindness. You know, we're talking about Instagram, you know, posting stuff on Instagram, somebody gave us what, what I think is called a heart attack I've learned. And so they come in and just put a bunch of hearts on your door and like little nice messages. You know, we love you. Nice. Yeah. Well, I told you I got a ring, right? My ring wasn't working. So I have no idea who it was. Right? And so they came in, did a heart attack. And then all sudden, we have this big knock. And it's like, eight or nine o'clock? I don't remember. So like Who the heck, you know, right? So we go downstairs and just see this beautiful message. That's great. It's it's cheap construction paper and

Brandon Handley 48:37
workers. You know, I mean, like the money, it says he hasn't that doesn't have to take a whole lot to just do some acts of kindness or make somebody's day. Right you. And and again, I'm gonna go back to how you feel while you're doing it. Right. You know, is is kind of the key, right? You're gonna feel good, like, you know, you feel good. The recipient feels good. You're not in control of how the recipient is going to receive that. But as long as you are in the spirit of giving to give, and you're not in the spirit of giving to receive a reaction. Yes. Right. Because I mean, that's, that's a big thing, too. Right. So I think that that's kind of what you're illustrating here is right giving without, like, this expectation, giving, you know, so that, you know, you can be of service to others. And you know, kind of, you know, I think the other part was like, you know, you asked it in your conversation with God is like, Am I fulfilling my purpose? I think that'd be a word. What was the answer to that one? What did you feel on that?

Allan Dubon 49:38
I felt that I had done well, but not good enough, and I heard a little it wasn't a reprimand. But it was a you can do better. And, and really, it's about being more purposeful. Not just We got an extra 300 bucks around Christmas time, let's, let's see how we can get some gifts for that, which is great. And that's that's a good thing. But now, you know, somebody took care of our Christmas for us. And a couple families, you know, and, and they organized and all this kind of stuff and my kids now are like, Dad, can we do that for somebody next year once you got your job again? Because I'm not working and stuff? Right? It was awesome. Well, I

Brandon Handley 50:25
mean, I still got you still got your consultant services, and you're still able to do that. Right. So I mean, I know that you've had some tremendous success there in the past, I know that you've helped me, you know, put put business stuff together, you've helped me put my websites together. So I know that that's stuff that you're still capable of doing.

Allan Dubon 50:43
Yeah. And it's just, you know, I'm, I'm just getting to the point where I can consider that. Right. You know, cuz, energy wise,

Unknown Speaker 50:52
are you still pretty depleted?

Allan Dubon 50:54
Yeah. So it's, it's the commitment, right? Like, could I build a website? Yeah, but can I commit to

Brandon Handley 51:01
a timeline?

Unknown Speaker 51:03
Yeah.

Allan Dubon 51:05
Stuff like that. It's kind of teaching me that patience. And that. Would you call it? Surrender? surrendering? Thank you. Yeah, yeah. It's okay. I'm learning patience. That's what I mean, right now. Yeah. And I hate it. But I get the value of it. Yeah. Yeah, it was.

Brandon Handley 51:32
I mean, there's, there's a whole idea of like, you don't you don't have to slow down but Calm down, right. Like, take it slow. Not even again, not slow, deliberate, purposeful, intentional pace, right? Not not frantic, as if there weren't enough for everybody. Because there is right and and not, you know, I love your experience is is also to the idea of Providence, right? Like, you know, you've been the provider, but people will provide for you. Right? And, and it's not that it's something that you're not looking for a charity, but it's something that will happen naturally, if you kind of allow for it, right? Again, the Providence surrendering to the universe to God, whatever, just being like, Hey, I'm doing what I can, right. So you know, what does it mean? So, what does it feel like? Then? I guess if you know, if you're not fulfilling, what do you feel like you could be doing more? Do you feel like you need to be playing bigger? You know, what, what's that look like for you?

Allan Dubon 52:37
Excuse me a little bit of both, right? It's I was, I had exceeded I like to I'm a data nerd. So statistically, people who had my upbringing, don't reach where I've reached, sure. But to me, that's not good enough. And it's not to aggrandized myself, it's, I can serve others. And so it's, it's that tool of, or not the tool, it's getting the tool, which is money, and connections and stuff like that, so that I can then teach others how to grow out of their situation, wherever that might be. Right. Right. And so claim bigger to that with urgency. But not frantic, like you said, calm down. Right. But that's my calling, right? It's made very crystal clear to me. And, and, you know, taking care of people in that sense. And then planning and purposefully doing things like, hey, once I get my job back, we're gonna, or I can do my business or whatever, you know, however, that looks, right. We're going to create an account where we're going to start actually putting money away every check every sale, every whatever, so that it's not, oh, we happen to have an extra 200 bucks. Let's get a couple Nerf guns and pray vows for these folks. You know, it's it's right? Hey, we can really plan this out. Right? and serve one to 510 families, whatever it is, right? But make it purposeful versus Oh, we're gonna be good people and help. But it's because we happen to have 300 bucks extra for sure. No, I get it. I get it. You know?

Brandon Handley 54:17
Yeah, no, that makes sense. Man. I love it, though. I mean, so, again, I've loved I've loved your journey I've loved you know, I don't love that you had cancer. But I do love that, you know, you kind of, I love the way that you went through it. And how you you kept your shit together, for the most part, how you faced it with this attitude of service. And I'm just super glad that we had the opportunity to connect and that you made it through man, you've been a big part of like I told you at the beginning a big part of spiritual dope, big part of my own journey. And, you know, I'm not a data analytics guy. So you know, my forecast though, is like more Allen Right, my forecast is more out in the life and, you know, so if, you know, if you were coming out of it and you had more energy right now who would be like somebody who's your ideal client,

Allan Dubon 55:17
somebody who's got an idea of where they want to be, and a purpose. And it doesn't mean you have to know exactly what the business is, or anything like that you can, or grow the business or whatever, but really, it's about purpose. And the purpose to me needs to be more than just, I got to make money. It's got to be what am I going to do once I make money in my life? And how am I going to serve others? Because that's what drives me is that money is a tool

that spans the gamut of Hey, they're they're only making 50,000 a year or maybe they're making 5 million a year you know, it spans all of that because it's, it's Hey, it's more of a purpose driven than I want to make this much per sale. Yeah,

Brandon Handley 56:18
I love that right. When you when you inject purpose and that kind of everything that you do you really do accelerate it right. So So what you're offering do then is to help people kind of get clarity and accelerate their their purpose and vision so that they can have a more fulfilling life is that what I'm here?

Allan Dubon 56:35
Yeah, yeah. Awesome, brother.

Brandon Handley 56:38
Hey, thank you so much. Like I said, I know you're you're still kind of coming out of it. But I appreciate you jumping on and sharing a bit of your story sharing you know your conversations with God even though you're not you know, what's the guy's name Neale Donald Walsch or whatever. So Alan Duvall take on conversations with God today. You know, fighting cancer. And and you know, getting a second shot, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I love that for you, man. So thanks again. We're have some people check out more on.

Allan Dubon 57:08
I'm pretty much Alan dubon everywhere. ondemand.com on Instagram, Facebook, and Alan dubon, even clubhouse. So

Brandon Handley 57:17
awesome. Awesome. All right, but thanks for being on today. Thanks, guys.

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