The Best Revenge is Living Well with DONNA WAYLES
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Today I\\u2019m talking with Donna Wayles, a wife, mother, and abuse survivor who shares her story of escaping domestic abuse with God\\u2019s love and grace. She\\u2019s the author of \\u201cI'll Pray for You: A Christian Woman's Guide to Surviving Domestic Violence\\u201d and a self-described domestic violence subject expert. Today, she is here to speak loud about being a thriver after domestic abuse and finding life and hope after abuse.
Donna met her abuser through a church picnic when she was in her early 20s. She describes that the pressure from the church encouraged her to get married early and young, within 7 months of meeting her then-husband. Though she had been sensitive to the physical abuse he began to demonstrate, she interpreted his controlling behaviors as \\u2018protectiveness\\u2019 and being a sign of how much he loved her.\\xa0
As the abuse escalated, however, Donna began reaching out to different avenues for support. Another wife from church dismissed her concerns about her husband\\u2019s possessiveness and talking with her pastor only put her in more danger after the pastor talked with Donna\\u2019s husband privately. One night after a conference, Donna was calling a friend for help when her abuser physically threw her out of the house with her 16-month-old daughter and the clothes on her back.\\xa0
Donna, at the time, struggled to understand what she had done wrong, having followed the teachings of her family and her faith. The first line in her book, \\u201cHow did my life get to be like this?\\u201d reflected this. However, she had to eventually learn\\u2014through counseling and other modalities\\u2014that the abuse she had undergone was not a reflection of herself but of her abuser. Realizing this was the beginning of her healing journey.\\xa0
One night, while pondering what to make for dinner, Donna realized that she could eat whatever she wanted. She could wear and do whatever she wanted as an individual without worrying about what he wanted. She felt like a second life had just dawned on her and she was determined to live that life. She is now remarried and her daughter, 18, is thriving in school studying graphic art.\\xa0
Donna\\u2019s book, \\u201cI\\u2019ll Pray For You,\\u201d was inspired by her domestic violence victim advocate who told her, \\u201cThe best revenge to your abuser is living well.\\u201d Donna published her own story as a way to be her best self and also do for others what wasn\\u2019t done for her. She describes her process with forgiveness as not a one-time decision, but a journey. She\\u2019s learned that bitterness won\\u2019t serve her and has found peace in using her experience to help others.\\xa0
\\u201cResilience is stubbornness, persistence, tenacity,\\u201d Donna says. Being determined to live her own life helped pull her out of those dark times. As someone raised to help others, she wishes she could have told her past self to be patient and to put herself first before trying to give herself away to others. She hopes readers of her book and listeners know that leaving an abusive situation is not the end and, in fact, there is something much better on the other side.\\xa0
Listen in to learn more about what modalities Donna used in her healing journey, what makes her feel empowered, and her experience with self-esteem and abuse.\\xa0
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