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What a couple of weeks it\\u2019s been!

Since I last reached out, I drove to NY and back (over 3600 miles) within 4 days. It was grueling and at times even scary. But I made it.

One major development is my ability now to put to rest any notion of quitting everything to become a truck driver. That\\u2019s definitely not going to happen!

I\\u2019m sure you\\u2019re wondering what on Earth would make me do such a thing.

As I tell it in today\\u2019s episode, I traveled back to NY for my mother\\u2019s funeral.

Though she was sick, my mother\\u2019s passing was sudden and unexpected. And my first thought was \\u2018At last, she doesn\\u2019t need to be angry anymore.\\u2019

Then it occurred to me - more as a feeling than a thought - \\u2018She can\\u2019t hurt me anymore.\\u2019

This second statement says so much!

At 5\\u20194\\u201d, my mother hasn\\u2019t been able to hurt me since I was 13 years old. Maybe even younger than that.

But in the 40 years since, I\\u2019ve felt gripped with the tension of a nervous system that was formed under abuse and threat and this has resulted in a fear and sympathetic nervous system response that\\u2019s impacted nearly every experience I\\u2019ve had.

This was illustrated in the way I experienced all my uncles and aunts at the funeral.

I was bracing for the usual judgment and ridicule I would get from them every time I\\u2019d see them. Of course, it stands to reason that they took special care to be gentle on this difficult day, but I experienced a lightness that continued on even as their words became slurred as the drinks flowed.

Anyway, here\\u2019s today\\u2019s episode. I hope you enjoy it.

If you\\u2019d like to check out one of my Wednesday evening meditations, click here:

https://www.meetup.com/learning-to-surf-talks-on-buddhism-meditation-mindfulness/

You can also find me on Instagram and TikTok

And if you\\u2019d like to experience 1:1 coaching, you can claim your free sample session here:

https://calendly.com/artburns/45-min-coaching-session

If you\\u2019d like to support my work, please consider becoming a patron:

https://www.patreon.com/artburns