Mark England and the Victim Mentality
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This week on Shaping Success with Wes Tankersley, Mark England comes back and continues the discussion on the impact of words and our perceptions based on those words.\\xa0
Mark starts off by saying no one talks as bad to us more than ourselves. People don\\u2019t accept it from others, so why do we accept it when it comes from our own lips?
A wins journal is done by writing down one win per day in the middle of the page about a paragraph long using complete sentences. He says kids can start their path to success by keeping a wins journal as early as five years of age. Keeping this journal in turn has them thinking they are winners. This raises psychological well-being. Kids are more confident, feel capable, and feel good enough to do things and feel good enough for other people to love them.
Mark discusses the Reticular Activating System which is the phenomenon of, for example, buying a particular vehicle then seeing that vehicle all over the place. Something in the brain deems it important. The invisible gorilla study is a study in which there are kids dressed in white and kids dressed in black. One group of people was asked to focus on the kids dressed in white, and another group was asked to focus on the kids dressed in black. A person ina gorilla costume comes out, bangs on his chest, then leaves. The people claim to have not seen the gorilla.
This phenomenon shows up in the words used such as \\u201cHe is always late.\\u201d The focus is on him being late and not on the fact that there were many times he was on time. \\u201cShe is never there for me\\u201d focuses on the times she wasn\\u2019t there and not on the times she was. Mark says this is referred to as Halo and Horns. People put the blame on others and absolves themselves of all blame.
There are different types of coaches. Low level coaches are vague and say things such as \\u201cbe more positive\\u201d and \\u201cyou need to love yourself more.\\u201d They have a one-size-fits-all mentality thinking what works for one person works for everyone. They tell people to be these things, but they don\\u2019t show or teach how.\\xa0
Mark goes over how he helps his clients.\\xa0 He tells them to write down their story conversationally in complete sentences with punctuation. After that, he has them read the story out loud. Emotions come out at this time, and that is normal. The next time they read it, it is 30% slower. Then the next time,\\xa0 he has them taking deep breaths after each punctuation. He calls this \\u201cgetting it off your chest.\\u201d The breath unlocks, and it creates space for clarity and making better decisions not based on emotions.
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