EP 429: How to Break the Cycle of Engaging with Narcissists with Behnaz
b'
This coaching call is about breaking the cycle of being in unhealthy relationships, specifically with emotionally unavailable or narcissistic people. Today\\u2019s caller, Behnaz, feels guilty, exhausted, and angry when dealing with her family and longs for deeper connections. She asks Christine for guidance on how to break the cycle and release her anger.
\\xa0
[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode429].
\\xa0
We all have encountered someone with either narcissism or at least narcissistic tendencies, emotional unavailability, and gaslighting. It can be a frustrating and maddening place to be. It almost makes us feel crazy because we feel we are not being heard, we are not being seen, and it is frustrating.
\\xa0
Why empaths are so attracted to narcissists is because, on a subconscious level, we see that they don\'t have access to love. We can feel it. We think our love will somehow awaken the love in them but it just doesn\\u2019t work that way. We just end up giving away our power, and our heart, and we end up collapsing our boundaries.
\\xa0
It can be hard when we are a loving person, and we have a pattern of engaging with people who are not in touch with the love inside themselves. It\\u2019s exhausting.
\\xa0
If you know you have been gaslit before, be aware that you may either shut down completely and not talk at all or go into over-talking and over-explaining. It\\u2019s not bad or wrong. It\\u2019s just a natural reaction to being gaslit. Part of healing from being gaslit is finding our authentic self-expression, not coming from justification or defending, knowing exactly what we need to say and how much we need to say.
\\xa0
On some level, some of us do sign up to be generational pattern breakers. It\\u2019s the only way the consciousness of the planet evolves.
\\xa0
Spring 2024 will bring a new 10-week, Live, Inner Child Program from Christine and Stefanos. More information is coming soon.
\\xa0
Christine wants to hear from you! She is considering making some changes to the show, and she wants your feedback. Go to ChristineHassler.com/survey to answer a few questions about the podcast, and if you include your name and email, you will be entered into a raffle to win a 30-minute coaching session with Christine.
\\xa0
Behnaz\\u2019s Question:
Behnaz\\u2019s self-esteem is not where she wants it to be and she struggles to find her voice around narcissists. She wants guidance on how to release her anger and break the pattern.
\\xa0
Behnaz\\u2019s Key Insights and Ahas:
-
Adults gaslit her when she was a child.
-
She holds back her thoughts around narcissists.
-
She feels she has boundaries.
-
She has internalized anger she is unable to express.
-
She is exhausted.
-
She speaks up for herself but is resentful when nothing changes.
-
She tries to connect with emotionally unavailable people.
-
She wanted a deeper connection with her parents.
-
She yearns to love and connect with people.
-
Her soul signed up to be a generational pattern breaker.
-
She feels guilty about cutting off a relationship with her aunt.
-
She is a joyful person.
-
She is creating a family of friends.
-
She feels alone.
\\xa0
How to Get Over It and On With It:
-
Grieve the relationship she didn\\u2019t have with her family.
-
Accept that she chose her family to learn through contrast.
-
Get in touch with her anger.
-
Accept that she cannot change anyone.
-
Know it is OK to step away from unhealthy relationships.
-
Honor who she is and come into alignment with it.
\\xa0
Sponsor:
Caraway Cookware \\u2014 Caraway products are toxicity-free, beautiful, and easy to clean and use. The cookware and bakeware sets have a chemical-free slick coating. The new stainless steel cookware set is a must-have. To take advantage of a limited-time offer for listeners of this podcast, go to CarawayHome.com/Overit. Get a 20% discount on a stylish gift for your home or friends and family for the holidays.
\\xa0
Resources:
Christine Hassler \\u2014 Take a Coaching Assessment
Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner
Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler
@ChristineHassler on Instagram
@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram
Jill@ChristineHassler.com \\u2014 For information on any of my services
Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.
Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.
'