EP 400: When the Best Decision is Not to Make Any Decision with Lydia
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This episode is about pausing and not deciding. Today\\u2019s caller, Lydia, has been experiencing massive changes in her life over the past year. She is questioning whether or not to get married. She wants guidance about how she can relieve the pressure of making a choice and how to know what is right for her. She finds that sometimes not making a choice is the best choice.
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[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode400]
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There\\u2019s nothing wrong with questioning. There is always a purpose in it. When we\\u2019re in a place of doubt or questioning, it\\u2019s good to explore it. When there\\u2019s so much change happening, it can put us in more of a fight-or-flight survival-based response and we come from the emotionally reactive part of our brain. Or it can put our priorities and our values front and center to make us question anything that is not aligned.
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When we are experiencing a lot of change or grief, it takes a while to find our footing. In times of transition and change, major decisions can be tricky. The part of us that likes to control and to know things, can have a hard time when we go back and forth about big decisions.
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If your life is steady right now; if you\\u2019re not going through grief or a big change, but you are finding it difficult to make a choice, you might just be scared of change. You might just need to make a choice. But, if your life has a lot of chaos in it or there are a lot of changes and uncertainty about making another big choice, that\\u2019s when you can take time to pause and let what is in alignment with you rise to the surface.
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My upcoming Signature Retreat is for women who want to go deeper into their consciousness, release layers that need to go, expand their femininity, get clear about their purpose, and heal wounds. Get exquisite self-care from October 13\\u201215 in San Diego, CA. To sign up go to ChristineHassler.com/signatureretreat . There is still time to get the early bird discount.
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Consider/Ask Yourself:
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Is there something you\\u2019re trying to decide, or choose about, like a relationship, or whether to leave a job and you just can\\u2019t get clarity or, you could talk yourself into either direction?
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Are you grieving? Did you just lose someone that was important to you and it\\u2019s clouding your ability to choose?
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Did you go through a breakup or a job loss where you felt a sense of rejection and your self-confidence took a hit?
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Do you like to control? Do you like to have answers and being in that in-between of not making a choice can be a little wobbly for you?
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Lydia\\u2019s Question:
Many things in her life are changing. She is grieving the loss of her mother and having doubts about getting married. She would like guidance on how to move forward with confidence.
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Lydia\\u2019s Key Insights and Ahas:
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She is grieving the loss of her mother.
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She is going through a job transition.
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She is planning her wedding and a move.
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She is questioning her decision to get married.
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She is judging her fiance and feels guilty about it.
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As an adult, she had to distance herself from her mother.
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Her job transition left her feeling rejected.
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She feels resistance when she tries to make a choice.
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She doesn\\u2019t have safety in her nervous system.
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She is concerned about disappointing people.
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How to Get Over It and On With It:
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Pause, give herself some grace, and wait to make a choice about her relationship.
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Allow herself to be in the unknown as much as possible.
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Work on establishing safety in her nervous system.
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Surrender and take off the pressure to make a choice.
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Resources:
Christine Hassler \\u2014 Take a Coaching Assessment
Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner
Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler
@ChristineHassler on Instagram
@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram
Jill@ChristineHassler.com \\u2014 For information on any of my services
Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.
Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.
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