EP 396: Healing Unworthiness with Matt
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This episode is about healing anxiety, unworthiness, and shame. Today\\u2019s caller, Matt, recently came clean about some secrets about his past with his partner. He sabotaged his relationship but would like to date again, fully able to love and commit. Any listeners who felt instability in their childhood will benefit from this conversation.
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[For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode396]
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Often, the people who are most free-spirited are the adults who as children wanted stability and didn\\u2019t have it. They\\u2019ve never known stability so they have to fall in love with freedom or fall in love with not having accountability.
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If you were adopted, didn\\u2019t have time with your mother, or something happened, it doesn\\u2019t mean you are doomed for life. Give yourself the dignity of your process. Give yourself the compassion, TLC, mothering, and nurturing you didn\\u2019t receive. Having compassion for yourself and an understanding of why you are the way you are is important.
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Adoption is a beautiful thing. There are so many people who have had much better lives because they\\u2019ve been adopted versus if they had stayed with their biological parents. And people who choose to give their child up for adoption because they know another family could give them a better life are angels in so many ways. Adoption can create a beautiful life for someone.
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And if you do meditation, or a personal practice with the intention of fixing something, remember nothing heals in judgment. Go into modalities to feel, to heal, and to allow what is there, not try to get rid of it. Because nothing heals when we think we are broken.
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Consider/Ask Yourself:
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Did you grow up feeling a sense of not belonging? Perhaps you were adopted, you were a different race or culture and you had that feeling of where do I fit?
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Do you deal with a sense of anxiety?
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Do you ever feel a sense of unworthiness?
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Have you shown up in relationships, friendships, or any aspects of your life that you haven\\u2019t been proud of or that you have shame about?
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Have you held secrets and told lies?
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Matt\\u2019s Question:
Matt wants to start dating again but would like guidance on how to heal from his deep childhood wounding.
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Matt\\u2019s Key Insights and Ahas:
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He moved into a van to pursue a new life.
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He felt isolated after three months.
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He kept his trauma a secret.
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He was sexually abused.
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He was adopted by parents of a different race.
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He used drugs and alcohol to cope with his trauma.
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He is on a self-awareness journey.
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He opened up to his partner and they broke up.
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He cheated on his partner during their time together.
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He joined a 12-step program.
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He is struggling with rejection and failure.
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He doesn\\u2019t truly trust himself.
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He has always felt like an outcast in many ways.
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He hasn\\u2019t been able to love and commit in past relationships.
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He knows he is loved and wanted but often forgets.
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How to Get Over It and On With It:
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Use meditation and breathwork to rebirth himself and remove judgmental thoughts.
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Have compassion for his journey.
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Know that he deserves to be loved and accepted.
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Find a practitioner to help him love his inner child.
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Resources:
Christine Hassler \\u2014 Join the Free Over It and On With It Community
Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner
Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler
@ChristineHassler on Instagram
@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram
Jill@ChristineHassler.com \\u2014 For information on any of my services
Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.
Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.
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