EP 362: Is This Person Really the Love of Your Life, or is it an Issue-Based Relationship? With Rachel
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This episode is about getting the love we deserve. Today\\u2019s caller, Rachel, is in an issue-based relationship with a partner who doesn\\u2019t make her a priority. An issue-based relationship is when unresolved issues bring two people together. These relationships tend to be stressful, on-again-off-again, and come with anxiety, but the physical attraction is often very strong. Whether or not you are in a relationship you will get some gems from this episode.
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[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode362]
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Do you want the love of your life to be someone who causes you anxiety, who doesn\\u2019t make compromises for you, or who doesn\\u2019t make you a priority? Don\\u2019t you want better? We all deserve better than that. The problem is we get the love we think we deserve, not the love we actually deserve.
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Many of us find ourselves in a position where we know something isn\\u2019t good for us. We know we want, and deserve better, but we just can\\u2019t let it go. It\\u2019s a form of addiction. It\\u2019s codependency. It is having our unmet needs tickled just enough that we go back for more. But, it\\u2019s not love. It\\u2019s not a true connection or partnership.
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Something that can trip us up and make us suffer way more than we need to is when we have a rose-colored glasses tint on the way we see things. Because, when we do, we are more in love with an ideal than we are with the reality of things.
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When we experience a love that is not based on unresolved issues, it makes us glad we left the relationships that were based on our issues. Love that comes from a healthy place is amazing!
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If someone isn\\u2019t going out of their way to make you a priority, it is a red flag.
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I\\u2019m happy to announce that my next Women\\u2019s Retreat will be held in Austin from October 7\\u20129, 2022. Go to ChristineHassler.com/signatureretreat or listen to my Coaches Corner with Jill to get more information about this life-changing opportunity. The early-bird registration promo ends on Sept. 1, 2022.
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Consider/Ask Yourself:
- Are you with someone you call the love of your life but they are more of a teacher or trigger in your life?
- Are you aware your unresolved childhood issues and unmet needs could be influencing your relationship choices or the people you are attracted to?
- Are you good at speaking up for your needs in relationships? Do you feel you always fight to get your needs met but it never happens?
- Do you know you are in a relationship that isn\\u2019t good for you but you can\\u2019t seem to get out of it?
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Rachel\\u2019s Question:
Rachel has an on-again-off-again relationship with someone she considers the love of her life and would like guidance on.
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Rachel\\u2019s Key Insights and Ahas:
- She looks outside of herself to find fulfillment.
- She believes her partner is the love of her life.
- Her partner doesn\\u2019t meet her needs.
- She and her partner have great chemistry.
- Her partner reminds her of her father.
- She lost her family and fears losing her partner.
- Her partner says he can\\u2019t handle her emotions.
- She is in an intense issue-based relationship.
- There are a lot of highs and lows in the relationship.
- Her threshold for love is based on her relationship with her father.
- She feels she is missing out on having a good life.
- She feels anxious and exhausted.
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How to Get Over It and On With It:
- Let the relationship go to break her pattern.
- Grieve the relationship with her partner and her father wound.
- Work with a coach and get an accountability partner and ask for what she needs.
- Pull her inner mother forward.
- Remind herself that this is her inner child is trying to heal her father wound.
- Be compassionate with herself while she finds authentic self-love.
- Go to the ocean and perform an emotional release ritual.
- Refrain from calling her current partner the love of her life.
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Takeaways:
- Awareness is not enough. Start making the changes necessary to transform.
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Resources:
Christine Hassler \\u2014 Join the Free Over It and On With It Community
Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner
Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler
@ChristineHassler on Instagram
@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram
Assist@ChristineHassler.com \\u2014 Males who want to be on the show
Jill@ChristineHassler.com \\u2014 For information on any of my services
Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.
Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.
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