EP 356: Never Feeling Good Enough with Dana
b'
This episode is about never feeling good enough and always looking for what could go wrong. Today\\u2019s caller, Dana, didn\\u2019t have her needs met as a child and built a protective pattern to help her cope with her abandonment wound. We work through ways to calm her nervous system and feel safe when asking for what she needs.
\\xa0
[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode356]
\\xa0
Whether or not you grew up in a house where you felt like your needs were not met, all of us can relate to feeling not good enough, or the feeling that things in our lives are not good enough. Or, we can be either incredibly critical of ourselves or other people. We get ourselves into a vicious cycle.
\\xa0
When we have unmet needs, especially if we were raised in a way where we couldn\\u2019t have an outburst, had to be the good kid, or had to keep it together, it caused us to keep stuff inside. Those of us who had to withhold a lot as children can be mean to people internally but when it comes to saying something externally, we cower.
\\xa0
When we have awareness about one of our protective patterns, we don\\u2019t want to expect that we are immediately going to change it. That would just set us up for an Expectation Hangover and offer us more opportunities to beat ourselves up.
\\xa0
The purpose of personal development is not an overnight transformation. As evolving human beings, personal transformation is more about gaining awareness. We can spot the patterns we fall into and then work with ourselves while we are in the pattern.
\\xa0
True transformation comes when we find ourselves in the trigger, habit, or reaction and we become aware we are in it then, we choose differently.
\\xa0
My next Women\\u2019s Retreat will be held in Austin on October 7\\u20129, 2022. I will post the website and open enrollment soon!
\\xa0
Consider/Ask Yourself:
- Do you have the feeling of never feeling good enough?
- Do you constantly look for what is wrong in a situation, or what could go wrong, and have a hard time finding peace and joy in what is?
- Did you grow up in a house where your needs were not met and you have a hard time communicating your needs now?
- Do you have a hard time being present and slowing down? Are you always thinking of what you have to do next?
\\xa0
Dana\\u2019s Question:
Dana would like to understand why no matter what she does or achieves it never feels enough.
\\xa0
Dana\\u2019s Key Insights and Ahas:
- She is an achiever and is viewed as blessed.
- She finds fault with her husband in almost everything he does.
- She is always thinking about what comes next.
- She has an abandonment wound from her alcoholic father.
- Her mother was very young and always working.
- She over-achieves as a protective pattern.
- As a child, she always wanted to be accepted, heard, and understood.
- She looks for what is wrong so she can prepare for it.
- She has never had her needs met and is a bit angry because of it.
- She is afraid to trust the good things in her life.
- She is waiting for her partner to disappoint her.
- There is an intimacy-affection need that is not being met in her relationship.
- She needs a strong circle of friends around her.
- She doesn\\u2019t feel worthy of friendship and connectedness.
- She craves intimacy.
- She doesn\\u2019t know how to celebrate success.
- She holds a lot of tension and is often on edge.
\\xa0
How to Get Over It and On With It:
- Work with her protective pattern and know it is safe to trust the good in her life.
- Practice opening her heart and being less judgmental of herself.
- Focus on contentment and allow herself a moment to relax and feel relief in the moment.
- Breathe love into her heart and belly and tell herself she is safe.
- Bring conscious awareness to what she needs.
\\xa0
Sponsor:
Cured \\u2014 If you feel anxiety or that it is hard to go to sleep, you may want to give Zen a try. Zen is formulated by an in-house herbalist and is all about being calm and relaxed. To help you sleep and regulate your nervous system, Zen includes Reishi mushrooms, magnesium, CBD, and more. Go to Curednutrition.com/OVERIT and use the promo code OVERIT at check out for 20% off.
\\xa0
Resources:
Christine Hassler \\u2014 Join the Free Over It and On With It Community
Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner
Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler
@ChristineHassler on Instagram
@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram
Assist@ChristineHassler.com \\u2014 Males who want to be on the show
Jill@ChristineHassler.com \\u2014 For information on any of my services
Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.
Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.
'