EP 343: Stop Working on Yourself So Hard and Start Having Fun with Vicky
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This episode is about giving yourself permission to have fun. Today\\u2019s caller, Vicky, hasn\\u2019t had fun in over a decade. She wants to but fears others will judge her for it. We work through what created the fear and how she can give herself a permission slip to express herself in joy without worrying about what others will think.
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[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode343]
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Often, what we are projecting when we feel people are judging us is that we are judging ourselves. We need to challenge ourselves and say \\u2014\\xa0 so what? \\u2014\\xa0 if we are judged. What is the worst thing that can happen?
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As a child, it can be scary. We can feel ostracized from school, we can feel like we are not getting our parents\\u2019 love but as adults, if someone judges us we can let it be OK. It is one of the great things about being an adult. We can handle judgment differently. We choose how we react.
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If we do get devastated by someone else\\u2019s judgment, it means our inner child is being triggered. If that happens we have to parent our inner child and give them permission to have fun.
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If it has been a week since you have had fun, it\\u2019s time to have some. We can\\u2019t be serious all the time, especially when there is so much stress, uncertainty, and heaviness. Fun, joy, and play are important. No matter how old we get, we cannot forget to play.
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Consider/Ask Yourself:
- Have you just been working on yourself but haven\\u2019t had fun in a long time?
- Are you afraid to be expressive or fun because you are concerned you might be judged?
- Do you fall into the trap of not wanting to pursue things because you feel you must be perfect before you can do it?
- How often do you let your inner child come out and play?
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Vicky\\u2019s Question:
Vicky has done a ton of personal development work but still doesn\\u2019t authentically feel as if she has connected to joy.
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Vicky\\u2019s Key Insights and Ahas:
- She is frustrated that she still doesn\\u2019t feel connected.
- She hasn\\u2019t had a lot of fun since her 20s.
- She wants to experience joy.
- She feels she has to work hard.
- She fantasizes about being goofy.
- She is afraid of judgment.
- She is a life coach but doesn\\u2019t feel she deserves the title.
- Her parents fought a lot in front of her.
- She felt pressured to keep the peace in her childhood family home.
- She doesn\\u2019t feel safe or seen.
- She didn\\u2019t get to have enough fun as a child.
- She gets caught up in \\u201cshould be.\\u201d
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How to Get Over It and On With It:
- Be present, curious, and explorative in the moment.
- Ask herself what she could do to make herself feel safe and seen.
- Lean into being goofy and having fun.
- Choose how she wants to respond when she feels not enough.
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Resources:
Christine Hassler \\u2014 Join the Free Over It and On With It Community
Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner
Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler
@ChristineHassler on Instagram
@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram
Assist@ChristineHassler.com \\u2014 Males who want to be on the show
Jill@ChristineHassler.com \\u2014 For information on any of my services
Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.
Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.
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