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Today\\u2019s caller, Amanda, wants to know how to stop obsessing about calorie counting, her physical appearance, and working out. Like many of the sessions, you hear on this podcast, the focus of our conversation takes a different direction. Amanda acknowledges she felt controlled by her parents growing up. And, the biggest thing I taught Amanda is how we often pair certain behaviors with love. For example, we know our parents are supposed to love us, so the way they parent us is what we think is love. In Amanda\\u2019s case, it was being strict because she knew her parents loved her. So, she formed a correlation between being strict and controlling, with love. Her attempts to parent herself, care for herself, and love herself the way her parents did, are a big part of her food and calorie counting obsession. She believes that is how she keeps herself safe, much like her parents thought their strict parenting would keep her safe. It ends up as a fear-based version of safety, and it\\u2019s exhausting. Another thing at play was Amanda\\u2019s history of rebelling. When we have one extreme that feels limiting, we go to the opposite extreme in an attempt to free ourselves. Amanda felt controlled, so to move away from it, she was rebellious and acted out to get free of the feeling of being controlled. Coaches and Health Professionals \\u2014 are you practicing what you preach?\\xa0 Are you attempting to save yourself through serving others? You can share your story and help others, but make yourself your own best client. We can\\u2019t shift ourselves by saving other people. Remember, it\\u2019s important for you to show people they do have a wisdom voice inside, and a part of them that is connected to a pure, untainted heart. \\xa0 Consider/Ask Yourself: \\u25cf Are you a bit of a control freak in your life? Are there areas you are obsessive or rigid? \\u25cf Do you have an inner rebel? Does part of you act out or engage in addictive behavior? \\u25cf Are you in a profession where you are not practicing what you are preaching? \\u25cf Is your self-talk negative, and you would like to shift it? \\xa0 Amanda\'s Question: Amanda feels mentally exhausted. She wants to know how to trust herself and change her patterns. \\xa0 Amanda\'s Key Insights and Ahas: \\u25cf Her obsessing is her attempt to care for herself. \\u25cf She\\u2019s afraid she doesn\\u2019t deserve a good relationship. \\u25cf She believes she is broken. \\u25cf She has constructed her persona, and doesn\\u2019t know who she is. \\u25cf She doesn\\u2019t know how to talk to herself. \\u25cf She is trying to use her clients to help herself. \\u25cf She should practice what she preaches. \\xa0 How to Get Over It and On With It: \\u25cf She should talk to herself every day from a place of acceptance. \\u25cf She should parent herself in a way that is full of unconditional love and support. \\u25cf Attend Christine\\u2019s Spring Retreat to help process her old belief systems. \\u25cf She needs to be able to lose control and to know she will be ok. \\u25cf She needs to read Expectation Hangover. \\u25cf She needs to treat herself like she treats her clients. \\xa0 Assignments and Takeaways: \\u25cf Identify and deconstruct certain behaviors that may be cross-wired with love. \\u25cf Consider getting a pet. A pet is a way to learn about unconditional love without getting into codependency. \\u25cf If you are in the pattern of control or rebellion, start a spiritual practice. \\xa0 Sponsor: Audible - Free audiobook download and a 30-day free trial. \\xa0 Resources: Christine Hassler Expectation Hangover Women\\u2019s Spring Retreat - March 2017 Christine Hassler Podcasts Christine Hassler Free E-book Find me on Snapchat @chrishassler @christinhassler on Twitter @christinehassler on Instagram Christine@christinehassler.com Jill@christinehassler.com