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At my signature retreat, many of the women who attended seemed to have amazing connections and gone through physical transformations \\u2013 in just three short days. It made me think of questions I get a lot, which are \\u201cHow do I get to a state of joy and deep connection, and stay there?\\u201d and \\u201cHow do I get rid of hurt feelings from the past, which are impacting my ability to be happy in the present?\\u201d When the retreat started, we didn\\u2019t have the intention to be \\u201chappy\\u201d or better. We started the retreat with acceptance and love for exactly where we were.\\xa0 Acceptance is the first law of the spirit. This is where the healing and the transformation always begin. We, humans, learn through contrast. Healing is the application of love to the places inside that hurt. Suppression, repression and pretending you are fine are not bringing love to your dark places. The journey is worth it, because on the other side of the dark is joy. True elation comes from being liberated from the judgments and limiting beliefs that unresolved issues and suppressed emotions perpetuate.\\xa0 \\xa0 Today\\u2019s caller, Jennifer, wants to know how to be happier.\\xa0 The definition of happy is a state of elation or excitement. As human beings who learn or grow through contrast, being in a single state all the time should never be the goal. However, being in the state of awareness, acceptance and in the vibration of love is really what we are here to learn how to do consistently. Love doesn\\u2019t mean being happy all the time. Love is unconditional, it accepts all and it greets whatever emotion or issue we are facing with compassion. Apathy and indifference are the opposites of love. The more we accept the dark and bring love into the places inside that hurt, the less we feel the darker emotions, and the more we experience the state of happiness and heart-opening gratitude and compassion.\\xa0 \\xa0 *Coaches: Please don\\u2019t be attached to pleasing your client by working to get them what they want right away. Ask clients to define things before projecting your definitions on them. As coaches, we are not just listening to words. We are listening to the client\'s tone of voice, inflection; and we really need to use all of our senses to listen to all of the different ways clients are communicating with us. When the client has an \\u2018aha\\u2019, encourage them to talk it through. \\xa0 I invite you to join me for my retreat in magical Bali which includes meditation, yoga, one-on-one coaching and the opportunity to meet soul friends. There are only 2 reservations left. E-mail Jill@ChristineHassler.com for information on how to join any of my events or business programs. \\xa0 Consider/Ask Yourself: Do you have the expectation that you should feel happy all the time?\\xa0 Do you sometimes pretend you are happy, when really you\\u2019re not? Are you waiting for something outside of you to make you happy or make you feel settled? Are you struggling with not feeling happy at all or being depressed? Maybe, you feel that nothing is wrong, but nothing is right either.\\xa0 \\xa0 Jennifer \'s Question: Jennifer wants to know how to truly feel happy in her life. \\xa0 Jennifer \'s Key Insights and Aha\\u2019s: She has an unrealistic view of happiness She\\u2019s trying to source happiness from the outside She pretends to be better than she is She suppresses her emotions \\xa0 How to get over it and on with it: Allow herself to feel the tears and emotions when they come She should start by accepting and celebrating who she is She should replace \\u2018fine\\u2019 with honest answers of how she is doing She should commit to doing a 40-day meditation practice \\xa0 Assignments and Takeaways: Take off your mask and let yourself be seen. Don\\u2019t pretend to be happy all the time. If you need to talk, ask someone to listen. Use the emotional section of Expectation Hangover to help you get to your dark places of anger, fear or shame. Have a gratitude practice. Every night write down what you are grateful for. Start a meditation practice and read my blog post, Why you are not meditating? Start a 40-day practice - a daily discipline which makes you feel a higher level of acceptance, gratitude and therefore, happiness.\\xa0 \\xa0 \\xa0 Sponsor: Onnit Wellness - Receive a 10% discount on your purchase when you order through this link. Audible - Free audiobook download and a 30-day free trial. \\xa0 Resources: Christine Hassler Christine Hassler Podcasts Christine Hassler Free E-book @chrishassler on Snapchat @christinhassler on Twitter @christinehassler on Instagram Christine@christinehassler.com Jill@christinehassler.com