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Published: July 2, 2021, 1:43 a.m.

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Jonathan Realz is a current candidate for US Congress. Before his birth, a prophecy foretold of a child who would grow up to take over the Libertarian Party. Determined not to let this happen, the Menu Eaters devised a plan that resulted in Jonathan\\u2019s parents being murdered. Jonathan was then raised by the Shoney Bear, who instilled in him the values of free choice, personal responsibility, and buffets.

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Find out what any of this means tonight! 

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Voteforjonathan.com

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