Yes, You Are a Big Deal: Learnings on Impostor Syndrome
Impostor syndrome. You know what that is, right? It’s when you’re in your space and having success but you feel like a phoney. Like a fraud who’s about to be outed. Like you can’t really take credit for your achievements. That it was actually just luck all along. Or coincidence.
Imposter syndrome can happen to the best of us. I recognized it in myself at a conference recently. “Who am I to be teaching people about self-development?” It was uncomfortable at the time, it but turned into a beautiful experience of releasing negative emotions and shifting focus.
That came after announcing over the microphone to all the attendees what was going on with me.
No, I’m not kidding. It was a sweet release as I squarely addressed my own phantom fears. You’ll have to tune in to learn more…
So, yeah, impostor syndrome is real. I often see it in my clients too. Impostor syndrome creates issues around the notions of competence, confidence, and criticism.
- Competence. Where did you get the idea that you need to know it all to be competent? No one can know it all. And no one needs to know it all. The idea is ludicrous, right? You know that. So why let yourself feel small and incompetent when you realize you don’t know something? Competence is about learning along the way. And you can only learn by giving yourself permission to fail and get back up and try again.
- Confidence. Everyone has moments of self-doubt. Instead of letting those moments put you in a funk of low self-esteem, recognize that self-doubt is normal. Ask, what could I change about this situation to feel more confident? Is there an opportunity for me to learn and feel more confident?
- Criticism.
- First recognize that the fear of criticism is nothing more than the fear of rejection.
- Consider the source of the criticism. Is the critic in a resourceful place? Do they know what they’re talking about?
- Remember that perception is projection. If there is no truth whatsoever in a piece of criticism you receive, you won’t even notice it. It won’t register. But if it stings, if you have a reaction — be it strong or mild — you should investigate it. In what way is this criticism true? Because remember, the unconscious mind will project back to you what’s inside.
Once you’ve recognized impostor syndrome for what it is, take time to give yourself some credit. Recognize your achievements, your contributions, your uniqueness. It’s important that you do that. You need to congratulate yourself to keep your conscious and unconscious minds working together on the same goals. That’s how stuff gets done. That’s where the real successes happen. When you’re reaping success from that congruency, recognize it, celebrate it so that it continues to happen.
Thanks for listening!
To share your thoughts:
- Leave a note in the comment section below
- Use the “I have a question” button
- Share this show on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn
Links from today’s episode:
- Episode 2 — We learned about internal representations
- Episode 3 — We learned about perception is projection
- Episode 34 — We talked about deserving and that, yes, you do deserve good things.
- Episode 4 — We learned about toward and away-from motivation
To help out the show: