One Simple Change for Big Results
NLP places a premium on the ‘L’ -- linguistic. Language. The language we use matters. And the language we use gives us all sorts of clues about what we believe.
Today we're talking about two different linguistic assumptions. See if you spot these in your own thinking.
The first is cause and effect, the linguistic structure behind beliefs. It's simply the idea that one thing causes another. Cause and effect is all about the “how”. Like I must work hard to have money — meaning HOW does one make money? Oh, by working hard.
Or He must do ____ in order for me to feel loved. Cause and effect thinking can often lead to the next linguistic assumption: complex equivalence.
Complex equivalence occurs when we equate two things as being equal. Making money equals working hard. Or My partner neglects to _____ which means he doesn't love me.
These linguistic assumptions trip us up because instead of focusing on the thing that we want and feeling good, we’ve linked what we want to something that is uncomfortable or difficult or overwhelming. Maybe you want to see a certain amount in your bank account, and you assume you’ll have to take certain uncomfortable steps to get from here to there.
In cases like that, the key is to unlink the feel-good outcome you want from the other assumed steps that don’t feel great. Unlink those things and just focus on what feels good.
Just suppose you trained your unconscious mind to completely remove the notion of working hard, and you instead focused your energy on what it would feel to do work you love and receive all the money you need — as two separate things.
And what if you eliminated external factors in order to feel loved, and simply focused on feeling loved?
This is exactly what my clients are doing, and it works!
I know it sounds crazy and maybe a bit pie-in-the-sky. But this is what "allowing” looks like. You focus on the feel-good part and allow the universe to do its part. And if there are steps along the way from here to there that feel good, you can focus on those too for as long as it feels good.
We bring so many assumptions to the table about how things should unfold. And if we could just let go of the how, the universe can get to work on our behalf and bring us what we want in unexpected ways or with a sense of ease that we didn't realize was possible.
So if you’re finding yourself getting caught in the weeds of what it’s going to take to get from here to there, unlink that cause-and-effect thinking and those complex equivalences and just focus on the feel-good outcome. I dare you to try it and see what happens.
Thanks for listening!
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