How You Feel Matters
I had a call this week with a client, and I could tell that something was off. She seemed angry yet insisted that everything was okay. You see, she considers herself fortunate because she’s in a safe neighborhood. While she’s saddened by all that’s going on in the world related to people feeling disenfranchised, she has been counting her blessings and being thankful that her area hasn’t been as negatively impacted as others.
So what was this negativity I was sensing from her? This agitation, anger? I could see it in her countenance.
I kept probing, and it finally came out: her mother, who had lived nearby, was moving away. And when it came out, the tears flowed.
By the time we ended our conversation, she had worked through the negative emotions, and we were laughing and smiling. She was at peace.
Your emotions matter. Emotions are your unconscious mind communicating with you. It’s true -- your emotions are essentially your unconscious mind having a conversation with your conscious mind...if you’ll let it.
Too often, though, we discount our suffering because “it’s just emotional stuff.” Our emotional responses sometimes feel petty, especially when you consider the big losses that others in the world are experiencing.
But when we ignore those emotions or stuff them down, they fester. Instead, we need to recognize them, validate them (because they are there for a reason), and work through them.
Strong emotional reactions are often related to values and/or boundaries, and by exploring our emotional responses, we’ll learn a lot about what’s important to us and what we need to do to feel better. For example, maybe our values are not being honored. Or maybe those values should be revisited. Are they really serving you? .
The only way that you can make an impact is going to be when you choose to honor you first by honoring your emotions and knowing that they come up for a reason, that they're there to serve you. To change, to make a difference, to be your best self, you must honor your emotions.
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