Finding Goodness in Doing Hard Things
Remember those 30-minute TV shows back in the day like Leave it to Beaver and The Brady Bunch? They left me with the impression that American family life was wonderful, happy, and harmonious.
And when it wasn’t, no worries. A resolution was sure to come within 30 minutes!
When I moved to the US, that image of the happy American family didn’t match my own experience, yet I sought that happiness for years.
That was until I let it go and replaced the search for happiness with meaning and purpose.
Ironically, the place where I found the most joy was not in a neat-and-tidy script or happy-life formula.
Here’s what I found:
Doing hard things gave my life meaning.
Sometimes I get into conversations with people who want to realize happiness through manifestation. After all, some “enlightened” gurus meditate their way to peace and happiness.
Maybe in time, that can happen for the rest of us, but most of us aren’t there yet. I’m still on a journey, always evolving. And in my personal experience — and my clients’ and students’ lives reflect this — we find happiness by doing difficult things that are meaningful to us.
It’s in the doing that we grow, gain confidence, and hone new strategies, leaving us with behavioral flexibility and increased choice that spills over from one success to another.
More than just thinking about it, it takes deliberate and constant action.
Here are some ways to find the goodness in doing hard things:
- Decide on your hard thing.
It could be related to business, health, relationships, a purchase you want to make, or an experience you want to have.
- List the steps.
Make a list of the action items needed to support you in achieving your hard-thing goal. This won’t be a complete list of everything you need because you probably don’t know everything it’s going to take. That’s okay. Start where you are with what you know now, and adjust along the way.
- Create a “stop doing” list.
Make a list of things you need to stop doing to support you in achieving your hard-thing goal. This could be something like stop watching Netflix mindlessly, or stop indulging in unhealthy foods until you reach your health goals, or stop putting off something you’ve needed to do.
- Take action.
This step is crucial. Taking action signals your brain that you’re doing things differently now. Actions are both big and small — all kinds of actions here count. You’ll take action, and then do it again, and again. Eventually, it will feel natural.
Focus on one area, one thing. And the new strategies you develop will be great resources when you’re ready to tackle another area of your life.
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