Feeling Good vs. Being Happy
I’ve lost count of the number of weeks we’ve been in this pandemic, this time of elevated uncertainty. When we find ourselves in uncertain times, our minds seek security and comfort. That makes total sense, is natural, and is to be expected. We need to comfort ourselves during this time.
But what we need to be careful about is sacrificing our future happiness for feeling good in the moment.
What does happiness look like anyway? It’s easy to think that it’s the achieving of a goal, crossing some sort of finish line. But when we dig deep, we find that real happiness is found when we’re living in congruence -- that is, when our conscious and unconscious minds are aligned with the superconscious mind and are in pursuit of our life values and goals. That is true happiness. It’s not in the achieving, per se. It’s in living out who we’re meant to be.
This uncertain time, though, leaves many seeking comfort from sources that, on the other side of “enjoying” them, don’t feel good at all. Hello, eating the whole pizza, drinking the extra glass of wine, Netflix binging when there are other things to be done.
There’s no judgement here. I’ve been there too.
This is a reminder about having a future-forward focus so that we can make empowering decisions and maintain balance as we meet our need for comfort now while not losing sight of our future happiness.
These five things will help shift us from short-term “feeling good” to long-term, sustainable happiness.
- Decide on the big things you want. Go big picture and avoid getting specific. Focus on the essence of the things you want in life.
- Set two or three goals around things that really matter to you.
- Every day take action to achieve those goals. Small action steps absolutely count! But take action daily, and you’ll find purpose in meaning in what you do.
- Be mindful regarding impulses. Ask, “Is this action going to support me in the achieving of my goals?”
- Only do things that leave you feeling good about yourself. This will help keep you mostly congruent (I aim for being congruent 90% of the time) and help maintain your forward momentum.
To you happiness! Both in this present moment and in the future.
Thanks for listening!
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