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Self-love and Selfishness are completely different!

Selfishness is defined as being concerned excessively or exclusively, for oneself or one's own advantage, pleasure, or welfare, regardless of others.

Self-love means having self-compassion and a regard for our well-being.

If we are incapable of loving ourselves and understanding our own value, is it really possible to see the value and worth of others from a place of sincere love? Think about it: we might think \u201cof course I can love others and not myself-- I can see the worth and value of others and I can love them, even if I don\u2019t really love myself.\u201d Parents especially would argue this because of course we love our kids more than ourselves, right? 

But consider what feelings we might really be experiencing when we think of our kids or anyone else that we say we love; we might see their value and their worth, but what is the underlying feeling? Is there some worry or fear or comparison or lack? 

That\u2019s not love. 

If we are harsh to ourselves or have unkind thoughts toward ourselves, we are likely to have similar thoughts toward others. If we live in comparison or a feeling of less-than or lack, then that is how our minds operate.. That will be our default lens; it will be the default way that we experience all people, including ourselves.

If we aren\u2019t being very nice to other people, chances are we also aren\u2019t being very nice to ourselves. 

If see someone struggling or failing or making a mistake, what\u2019s our response? It could be a loved one or our own kids or a complete stranger--what\u2019s our response?

Are we judgy or embarrassed or shaming or wanting to scold them? Or do we find kindness and compassion, seeking to support them or understand them? 

The way we respond to other people\u2019s struggles is likely how we respond to struggles of our own.

So when we are struggling or make mistakes, are we judging ourselves or embarrassed or shameful or scolding ourselves? 

Or do we access kindness toward ourselves and self-compassion, seeking to understand and support ourselves?

Self-love gives us the capacity to love other people even more.

Selfishness or being self-absorbed simply does not give us that capacity to love other people.