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Ahoy there, Oceanologists! This is the Admiral speaking with an important public service announcement.

This episode is not explicit.

Written by J. Michael DeAngelis. Starring Bob Killion as The Admiral.

Bob Killion is the man of many voices on Mission: Rejected, most notably The Admiral, Security Guy, Archie Grant and, of course, Noam Chomsky.

https://missionrejected.simplecast.com

TRANSCRIPT

Good morning, good evening and good afternoon simultaneously. This is The Admiral speaking and I wish to address proper hand washing procedures. First, you must
strip yourself of all your worldly desires. Release the fears and hang ups that keep you from being your true self. Second, you must strip yourself of all your clothes. As all Oceanologists know, the hands are the gateway to the body. As we cleanse them, we cleanse our souls. Third, dip your hands in pure bees wax. Don\\u2019t use the store brand. DON\'T USE THE STORE BRAND. Then scrub vigorously while singing. Baby whale...baby whale...

"Baby Whale" Music and Lyrics by Pete Barry