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Published: Feb. 14, 2023, 6:31 p.m.

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\\u201cI can\\u2019t believe this is happening to me again. This always happens to me. They always do this to me. Of course things never work out. Again?\\u201d These phrases seemed all too common and repeated themselves throughout my life. That was until I realized I was living in my past. It was like relieving Ground Hog Day. You you know the movie where the guy relives one day over and over again?

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In self defense we look forward by being present in the moment. The past is gone, the future is yet to be determined, and the thing that determines the future is the moment we live in now. However, I like many of you, may have spent a good portion of my life anticipating the future based on a past. My past.

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In relationships of domestic violence, intense altercations, and even ongoing emotional trauma, we see repetitions of the same actions people experience over and over again. Why? They are re-living or re-running their past and bringing that past into the present moment, and even their future.

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In self-defense practice we see many people emotionally upset at some point in their training. This emotional upset comes about mostly in the middle of \\u201crandori,\\u201d or simulated fight training. Tears appear, quivering lips, red faces, and cracks in voice, and even leaving the floor to compose themselves are common reactions to this emotional upset.

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It may occur from fear, however mostly it comes from an experience of the past. Either the past that they've experienced, someone close them has experienced, or even an experience they have heard about during their life. The realism with which we train may bring about these emotions.

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However, these are experiences of the past. We all may ANTICIPATE a future that includes all too familiar issues of the past, and do on a regular basis. After all, if it happened once why wouldn't it happen again? It is however to this end that we train. It is true self-defense experts train for the future in ANTICIPATION of what might happen. Let\\u2019s look.

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There is a difference in a self-defense mindset as it pertains to ANTICIPATION, and the world of helpless upset that occurs in most people predicting, and actually creating their world. In ANTICIPATION that an event will happen again because it happened before the untrained person fears, and may even create an opportunity to fulfill the outcome. This is unintentional of course, and still may happen as an all too familiar, and comfortable situation arises.

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Our world then becomes our greatest fear as we create that future in ANTICIPATION based on our past experiences. We can see it almost every day in some small way. \\u201cI never get the best parking spot,\\u201d is mumbled under our breath as we actually look for how full a parking lot is compared to looking for the empty spaces available to us. We are comfortable in this world, and seek a parking space further from the store to affirm our fear.

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Consider stepping out of the world of reruns, and writing a new script ANTICIPATING a great life filled with amazing parking spots\\u2026

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#allenhughes #anticipate #lifedefense

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Photo by Jose Espinal: https://www.pexels.com/photo/photography-of-parking-lot-1000633/

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