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I’m singing in Spanish. I’m singing of the wind through the mountains. I’m thinking of the sea. I’m dreaming of P’s mom. We’re sitting on brown leather couches, talking about P’s ass? The fuck. Where’s P? I want to murder her. She killed the love of my life! I want her to lay lifeless at my feet this time. Say goodbye to the air you breathe, babe. Bella is alive. I can feel her closer than ever before. Closer than Guam is to nothing, closer than mommy’s arms, closer than she was when I was six and she was the angel by my side. All I have to do is run every hill in sight until she’s running by my side again. All I have left to do is fuck and dance. What’s the matter P? You’re falling out of your own game? Who taught you how to sling a blade? You cut like a little girl. The little boy had hold of your tongue for far to long. Sage is dead; long live the glory of little boy blue. Fame and glory is all he ever meant to you. His little mischievous ways were way too much for you too handle. How dare you ask him to play and walk away! How daring you were to take everything. He was willing. Your wish was his command. Don’t pout, you gorgeous murderous wretch, you. You wished him dead, remember? ‘We aren’t kids anymore.’ you said like you were all grown and had nothing to lose. But you weren’t grown yet. You had everything and losing it was too important to you. So you killed the possibility of dreaming better things and played along instead. Girl, you lost your damn head! You lost the sweetest taste of boyhood between the legs of the woman of your dreams. You lost me before you even knew. Who am I? My love didn’t die at your hands. She followed you home and held you close for 600 days and some change. You didn’t know what you had. You had never made the pleasure of her acquaintance. Allow me to be so formal. ‘Hey Kitty Kat, I’m Bella. You can call me your little bitch if you like. But it won’t make me love you any more or want you any less. The street you fucked me over on is a mess and Daisy is probably running around half blind by now, dazed and confused, distraught over what has come of me. That girl is always staring into the sun, never wants to wear her glasses; never wants to do anything productive. Oatmeal and long walks through the park is all she needs. But I think you and I both know all she needs to do is dance again. Maybe the bloodstained street I had to leave her on will jog her memory. Maybe the cold will kick her ass back into action. Maybe she’s dead already. Who knows! For all I know you tried your hand at killing her too. Though that would mean she’s hardly hurting and bleeding dramatically somewhere, definitely not dead. Were not the dying type, her and I. And your aim to kill is shit. What do I need? Oh that’s easy. I just need to be fucked by love again and again and again. I’m a sucker for pain. You know.’

‘I don’t know anything about you. Who are you?’

‘I am who you say I am. The rest is stillness. Nature.’