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‘This isn’t the first time that I see you.’

‘But I’m a stranger.’

‘No babe, there is no strangeness here. The time between our bodies is an illusion. I never let go. You were holding on so tight. That’s quite the grip you’ve got, you know? Yeah, I think you might now. You know what I think I should do? I think I should stop pretending like I know it all. I think I should stand before your pink flushed cheeks and tell our whole story. I think I should give you my whole entire heart and soul like I’ve been sure it was yours all along. I think we should dance. Right here, on the top of this mountain. I think you should give it all up. The whole entire horse and pony show. I think you should come for me.’

            ‘Tag! You’re it!’ I slap Anna on the ass and take off into the black forest. It’s cold in Germany this time of year. But I’m too excited to mind. I’m running too fast to feel time. She chasing close behind. Her white skirt catches on the forest floor and she falls flat on her face. ‘Bella!’ She starts screaming. I stop dead in my tracks and catch my breath. ‘Keep screaming baby! Give me a sound to follow. I trace my steps back to her. She’s crying wildly, the most beautiful little drama queen you’ve ever seen. 

            ‘It’s just a scrape.’ I giggle. As I kneel down to pick up her head from in-between her knees. I sit in front of her flushed face and start wiping her tears with my dirty sleeves.

            ‘Ouch! Sage quit it! Don’t wipe them away!’

            ‘Why not? You’re the one who wanted to be so tough all the time. You’re all grown up with nothing to do. Remember? Your kid, you ditched her for a fancy meal in a real tough City. It’s all about the food you eat. It’s all about growing out of your childlike ways. It’s all about to go up in flames. If the child goes, there’s nothing left but dead meat under powerful feet. The only thing that could ever lie under power is death. It’s a mess! All if it! Lets wipe it away. Start over from scratch. From the day I said I do.’

            ‘No! Because they’re supposed to fall down my face in this exact way, when I cry it’s to get my way. I need my way! Not even you can mess that up. It feels good to let them dry there. My crusty cheeks are a reminder. I keep forgetting to eat. I keep forgetting that I have two perfectly good feet and that the whole world is mine. I’ll remember. Give me time. Its enough that I can feel you near, It’s enough that I can hear you. I don’t need to be carried through the way that you do.’

            I’m not convinced. I play into her dramatic play of pain and nurse her wounds. ‘You’re not even bleeding!’ I laugh. 

            ‘Oh you think you’re so tough, huh? Tough guy. You can make it through anything you want. You can fake like you aren’t in any pain at all. You’re a little liar! You know that? All you do is run away. That’s not facing anything. That’s not being free. Its just being scared to face the way you are chained to me. That’s just you refusing to admit that you are mine. You’re just a big scaredy-cat, is what I think.’

            ‘I am free! Don’t get it twisted missy. I belong to the sea! I’m only here because I thought you we’re so hurt that you couldn’t move. I came to save the day. I want to be your hero!’ I put her head in my lap and start to sing. ‘Rainbow Anna rainbow Anna, go where you want to go do what you want to do, my love is guiding you.’

            ‘You cant save me.’

            ‘I know. I don’t care! I’m still going to.’

            ‘You can’t refuse what you know to be true.’

            ‘Ha! Don’t be a fool. I am Emma Sage. Bella Donna your wild stallion. I own the whole entire world. I can do whatever I want to do. I can take you to a castle in Germany’s night sky. Freiburg, a giant fire blazing in the center of an open field. Hundreds of kids running and screaming ‘tag! You’re it!’ 

            All I have to get you to say is ‘I do.’

            ‘I wont!’

            ‘Wanna bet?’

            ‘I’ll bet anything dude. It’s my voice. I’m the only one to know if it’s doing me right or not. Not you!’

            ‘Okay, I’ll bet you the entire night sky.’

            ‘Every whale in the ocean too!’

            ‘Okay fine, and every single whale will scream you’re mine!’

            ‘Deal. You’re going down buster.’

            ‘Maybe baby. I’ve heard a rumor, is it true? Do you love the blue like you and she are the same living thing?’

            ‘Ha! Yes! Its true pony boy, I do! I do I do I do!’

            She gets up and shakes off the shame, starts running away.

            ‘Where are you going?’ I whine behind her the whole way home.

            ‘To the river! I want to be beside you! I want to run away. Keep up boy! Its bad enough you don’t believe in happy endings. Its bad enough, everywhere you go, let the tough guy melt into me instead. Fuck the rest. Trail in behind me, butt naked. Open the door and beg to come inside. Take off everything you hide behind. Lets start over. Lets use different names. Lets play like this is all a game and we have every right to make up our own rules. Lets set innocence out in front to rule. Lets cower to love. Lets throw our bodies before her feet! Lets go back, let’s meet someplace in the middle. Lets start at the cabin by the riverside. Lets scream and cry and make a million promises we can’t keep. Lets leave, and do it all over again. Lets do everything on repeat, century after century after stupid century. Lets stop speaking. Lets learn to sign instead. Lets all learn the phonetic alphabet. Lets feed each other. Lets eat. You remember taste, yes? What is it that you crave so much when you remember me?’

            ‘Home.’

            I saw the future. I stayed asleep. I remembered my childlike nature. I remembered when we all became free. I remembered I am everything you see. I remembered. I live forever. You’ll see.