BROADCASTS.com

There is life beside me. I am enslaved to the possibility of living. Bright blue is beginning to turn me on again. Like your bright toes glowed, rolling around on those chairs, slippery little buggers. I slipped and fell right into your sticky lap. Sticky goofy child eyes stuck to those gorgeous Persian thighs like that super stuff that never lets go. Then you let go. I don’t care. I’m not scared. When I’m pushed to my limits and all I want to do is give in, I feel. I am never-ending. Where I end is only the next breath I take. It’s easy. I am being breathed. If I think of breathing it holds me accountable to a certain rhythm. If I time the possibilities, I begin to imagine the impossible. 

            ‘Babe!’ She screams from the sea. I can’t see her, but she never seems to mind much. ‘Will you swim with me?’ she pleads. I cannot maintain the weight of my flesh when she calls for me. It bounces off the red mountains and skips around. When I’m chasing her, there is only one direction I can run and I’m always absolutely sure of it. It is every single way. Always. And in this way I am always going the right way. I run to her and she runs away. But it is not her that I’m chasing. Nor is it me that she’s running from. She runs because stillness is not possible for her. I stay still to speak to the moon of how weak her soul stays, trapped in the skin of working for time. Youthful beauty remains always present on a frantic mind and aging bones.

            ‘Please! Boney baby body, please! Sweet childlike soul, please swim to me! I will not stop swimming until you remember.’

            ‘Then my love, you will drown. If it is down you must go, than I can only swim away. You must let me sink inside your guts with every moon that rises. You must let me slip away when she flees behind the mountain. This is the only time that I must reach for you. The rest of my time is timed in accordance to another man’s treasure. If I am told that the gold is mine it’ll be worth the time spent convincing myself of its worth. By this time I will have run out of time to spend elsewhere. This is how I will run out of time. Will you still love me? If I run out of this time that you find so precious. 

            ‘No! Yes. Your soul I will always hold, a kingdom inside my chest.’

            ‘You swore once, that I could rip it open.’

            ‘My chest?’

            ‘No, your bloody baby heart; yes, of course your chest. I said I’d split you in two to find a way to keep you forever, to find a way into the life of you. You giggled. You were always giggling. I don’t think you heard a single thing I said.’

            ‘Say it again.’

            ‘I said I’m not afraid to watch you die. I must find my way. When I cry for you, it must be alone. But you mustn’t leave my side when I cry! And you must always say goodnight.’

            ‘Goodnight. Sweet P. I shine a thousand places every night. Feel free to dance over me.’