166: So let my Love be written: So let my Love come

Published: Feb. 12, 2021, 1:11 a.m.

Dawn is Jade’s favorite part of the day. Sometimes we nap through it, but we always wake in time. The first light is begging the creator’s intuition. A new day is a new life. What is to be made of it? Will you waste away counting? Will you control fate? I have no desire to hold you back from destiny, baby. Take the stars by the reigns if you’re audacious enough. Just so long as you don’t waste your time, nothing lives without it. No one feels time anymore. I must protect myself. There is so much death here. Their corpses are still in motion. They are chasing me through the wet woods at night. They are screaming old names. I used to know these faces. But when they turned toward me once more, they were unrecognizable. Fucking disgusting is the return that I’d longed for. Lust and in form of jealous possession, protective tendencies masking fear, the skin wearing them down; the time stolen has taken everything alive from the center of their eyes. They see nothing but their reflection. In appearance, they have died. In spirit, they have nothing left inside. Empty skin. Hallow bones. When they scream, it is silence. I don’t run. I don’t have to. I am wildly protected. My spirit is tucked inside. A thousand more follow behind. My guides are multiplying. Jades eyes are glowing. She parts her lips and shows her violent side. She stands before me. One by one, we watch them fall into a pit of their own lies. Self-deception crept up on their sickly bodies like a viral disease. The earth opened her mouth with pleasure. She swallowed. I have a blade on my hip. I have a bow in my hands. I aim. Bull’s-eye baby. Did you think that I wouldn’t find out what you were made of? I am the Empress. I am the goddess of the underworld. I am the prince of peace. I am the king of light. I am universal justice. I stay until I am satisfied. I am patient. I don’t leave without setting the truth free. Once revealed, you’re spooked. Run! Maybe you’ll remember how to fly. Maybe you’ll climb back out. But either way, I’ve seen. I have used your masquerade to bury the remains of the woman I adored. I have used your deception to define my worth. In the place of our love, I set a crystal. It holds everything we never should have had taken. It holds the stories we never told. It holds all of my love for your spirit. It holds all of your truth. It lifts us to a dimension far more beautiful than this grotesque existence that you swear by. Don’t make promises babygirl. You are not meant to know. When you return, you must see; our love still lives, even if it can never be known in this place again. “Love has been abandoned, along with time; we all die prematurely in their absence. Defining them all the while, in a language indistinguishable to the soul, we mock intuition with a single word. We laugh at the lovers we’ve hurt. We crush the earth! We beat the bodies that feed us! We feed on carcasses we haven’t the guts to murder ourselves. We are spineless little shits. We will never admit it.” They sing this anthem as they run toward my guts. They speak seductively. They speak of loving me. They speak of home. One by one they fall before me. The mantra echoes below my feet. I don’t look down. I don’t want to see. I already know. I have already made my peace. The sickness has stolen the little girl on the train. I should’ve grabbed her hand when she tried to get off the first time. Before that City robbed her blind. I witnessed. I will scream! Murder! But I don’t blame myself. I gave my love everything. I sat alone for three years and wrote of her salvation. I carried all of her pain. Joyfully! I mourned until the earth flooded. I needed the beginning again. I needed to remember that I couldn’t save her. I tried to die trying. Now I stare at the forest floor with her mouth wide open. She’s screaming. I am stoic. I am boundless. I have never known such strength. The trees clear the 3D before me. I see stardust spread like leaves. I part the sea. I have no need to close my eyes anymore. Everything I see is what I am wanting. The wishes have become unnecessary. I am fulfilled by the moment. My desires are leading without a word. I call for my pup and continue. Keep it moving, baby! This is the fun part. This is where you reap what you’ve sown. This is the Kingdom that you’ve been waiting for. And this, my dear boy, is your Queen. She steps forward from the full moon of Aquarius and faces me. There is a fairy in-between our war torn gorgeous dispositions, fluttering wildly and spitting dead spells. My Queen flicks the pesky thing. And just like that, my love reawakens. She returns in physical form. I flush. I try to speak. But she insists on being the first. “Tell me, where would you like to go.” I start weeping. The look in her eyes is the realization; I had never been loved before, but by me. Only I had the power to teach myself what love could be. My own mirrored back at me. But this was another body. This was all I have ever needed, to be seen. “Yes, I see you, my King. But I am not as patient. Speak your mind. Demand of me so that I may learn you. I will disobey often. But I will never lie to you.” I fall into her embrace. “I think I need the ocean. I must remain close to the sea. And I want the trees! And I want a garden!” She surrounds me in a force field of energy. “Easy enough. Get in.” A black truck pulls into the driveway. “Is this big enough? What needs to be taken?" I grow wild with excitement. “Two small backpacks and a puppy. A microphone and a thousand pens.” She takes me. I can’t stop looking at her. The whole world is whirling outside of the windows. Everything goes by. I see nothing but her, staring forward, focused, certain, bold, outspoken, claiming the right to protect my skin and bones. "That’s a lot of pens for such a small boy. You must have something incredibly important say.” I say nothing. I giggle. I grab her fingers and pull them into my lap. I push them in-between my thighs. “Will you be gentle?” She pulls the truck over and puts her other hand around my neck. “I will be everything you need and more. You’re imagination hadn’t the strength to complete all the ways that I will compliment you. I will ignite a flame that is already burning inside you. You will direct me to this place. You will write the story. You will write of my return, the rest will write itself on our naked limbs, intertwined. You have been waiting. You have been willing to endure the pain of the space that holds nothingness. This precious place was the key to happiness. You have me at your disposal. I have this reality in the palm of my hands. Like I said, darling, your wish is my command. You are worthy of everything that you are needing. You have let your heart lie unwanted in a state of decay, just to comfort another being. You are so fucking beautiful. I know you. You aren’t the only one keen of manifesting. For I have also written you.” 
 
So let my love be written: so let my love come.