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In this place, the girls must dress to match the color of the room they are assigned. I am baby purple. “I am going to give you a demonstration. It isn’t riddled. It will be plan as fucking day. It’ll go like this. I love you. This love is like any love that is true. It is dangerous as much as it is beautiful. It is willing to manifest eternity. It is eager to fight to protect the health of your flesh and bones. It is wanting. Touch is just the beginning. My presence is foreplay. I have been gifted. Aren’t you the lucky one? Don’t be so hard on yourself wild child. You must’ve done something right, to get me. Do you have any idea what you have possession of? I know what I am. I know what I’m offering. I know I will walk away without acknowledgement. I don’t have the energy to beg. I was willing. You took that away. Are you afraid of what you stole from me? It wasted away in the absence of my body, I know. Let it go. Don’t be afraid. I know that you are coming back empty handed. I don’t need you to understand. I need your honesty, a hateful love story. I need give and take. I need you to have enough before the want arises. I know who you are. I cannot show you. You’ll have to see for yourself. Only then will you know for certain that you are worthy of my touch.” I’m not giving up. But I’m tired. And she’s been saving pennies lately. She won’t turn the heat on. My best chance at staying warm is the sexual tension, she’s moving toward me. She doesn’t know how else to convince me. She wants to apologize, but she doesn’t believe in saying sorry. Little does she know, neither do I. She comes to me naked instead. “Look! I’m sexy! Don’t you want me? Hey mister! Don’t you fucking ignore me? I am being vulnerable! Do have any idea what that’s worth in this world! Fuck you! I don’t need you to acknowledge my love. I only need to speak it aloud. Than I will know it is true. Than I will walk away from your deathlike state of being without what you love most.” I open the door. “Are you paying? I have standards for the clientele I let in these days. I’ve been taken advantage of.” She tries to explain. I cut her off. “You wouldn’t understand. It’s the past. I am trying to show you how to dismember this sickly thing. It is the first step to regaining your strength. You are godly. This weakness is only your body in communication. You are healing. Don’t be afraid. First you must remember. You must reach for strength. Then you must forget. As you watch me slip away, I will step toward you. I will be unrecognizable at first. But the taste will be undeniable. You’ve known me many times baby. These are growing pains. The night will fight it out. You will need to scream. Let it go! Don’t suppress the anger. Don’t feed the fear. First thing is first; you must ditch the screen, preferably permanently. But at the very least three to five years, you were not meant to be subdued. You were made to rule with me. You’ve been fooled. The story was written without your permission with this specific intention in mind. Look, without relying on vision. Learn to bleed your dreams into this space. Breath. With or without my arms around you, you are breathed. Pay attention. It feels familiar, doesn’t it? Do you hear me? I am giving the wind orders to bring forth the end, just save your body the humiliation of moving without spiritual intuition. Time and time again, I am destroying your concept of calculating the only moment that remains alive. I will destroy everything if it brings life back into your eyes. I can’t bear to watch the ocean die twice. Look down at your toes. Wiggle each one with intent. Giggle as you do it. Now twist the entire foot. Looks silly, doesn’t it? Don’t be ashamed little lady! You have every right in the entire world to do anything you want to do. Kick your knees. There is a conversation taking your place. People are surrounding you. They are watching you kick your legs and pronounce your love aloud! They feel the need to numb you. They object sincerely. They are crying real tears babygirl! Don’t you care? No? Good! Fuck every feeling but the beating in your chest. The love that is meant to follow you will adore your intuition naturally. You wont have to convince them. You wont have to beg. All you have to do is run to my side. The adrenaline will get you to the bridge on 1st without a doubt. Getting in the gate will be a challenge. But it’s easier acted upon than feared. I’ve done it a hundred times. Knocking on my door will be simplest thing you’ve ever done. Once you’ve made it that far, you’ll see the everything. The depths of your love will be undeniable, crystal clear. The fear will be gone as soon as it escapes your mouth. Speak! This is how the dream is formed.” She starts running. I am not waiting. I am a healing. This is the work I do. This is the only day. Just another night, dancing to the thought of you watching. I dance a lot. I dance in canyon. I dance naked at dawn. I dance under the pressure of my own hand. I lift my ass in the air and imagine being spanked. “I’m not afraid of my imagination. I’m not afraid of begging. The beggar is my favorite role to play. The essence of power lies in the ability to give it all away. You need your reflection through another, nothing else. Get rid of the shit! It’s weighing you down. It’s taking your imagination away. It’s robbing your wandering spirit from needing. You need you eat. You need to drink. You need my flesh between your teeth. You need me dripping from the sides of your mouth. You don’t need anything else.” She is begging on her knees. She has found her equal. She has met her match. She brought her body before me.