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“Are you waiting on me to make a move? Because I already have, everyday was another step away from you. Are you trying to catch up? There are so many stories laid out before you. Which will you pick up? If it was the end that you were waiting for; than it’s the end that you’re going to get girl. It’s all rather simple really. The heart stills. The body is breathed. The mind vanishes from sight. I wait. The movement of blood is keeping my feet in motion. The beating of the heart is the cause of this movement. The cause of the beat is an electrical spark, origin unknown to most. The spark is your childlike soul. Abandon it and you will die, one way or another. Baby, don’t look at me like that. When I see murder I yell it aloud! I don’t give a damn if you’re ready to hear it yet or not. Murder! I saw you kill her with my own two eyes and I’m telling the world. Are you ready? Close your eyes and count to ten.” I unstrap my wrist and run to the door. She peeks between her fingers. “Stop it Sage, please! I need you now.” My body aches to move closer. She was supposed to be in my arms. My love was stolen. “You need your reflection, pretty girl. As you see it through me. We cannot be seen any other way. The mirror doesn’t show you who you are. It shows what it sees of you. Who built this piece of glass? Were these hands enslaved? This is no way to exist babygirl. You must stop searching for beauty this way. We do not exist without being seen. Our love is reflective. I adore you because of the energy living between our bodies. Our flames are identical. It is not me that you are. You need nothing but the spark. It is your spirit that is reflected in every move I make. Do you want to dance? I’m in the park every night by the grace of the moon. I’m the lunatic whose skin summons the dawn. I’m the boy crying in the tree. I am the girl on the run. I am running from my truth. I have been for a very long time. Truth is you stole my love, because my spirit refused to have it any other way. I set this down before you. It was all yours. You cannot stay. I don’t get to keep you, your mantra insisted. You set me down and walked away. You see? Letting go and holding on tight can be exactly the same thing. The ending is nasty. Have you tried forgetting all the nasty things? Let go of all that does not serve you. My Queen, you cannot carry the darkness into a new day. This is the only day there will ever be. This is the only moon. The dark is impending. It will always come. Carry the reflection of your love that gave you the courage to move. The rest of it is not fit for your glory. That is child’s play. Get rid of it! Only then will I stop screaming babe. When you open your fucking eyes and remember everything. How’s that for a fucking ending?” My little pig is staring up at me like I just murdered her best friend for breakfast. “Hey! Don’t you dare judge me! I gave you everything and you left me, cold as ice. Those eyes! Do you have any idea what they are capable of? No. Surely the mirror isn’t kind to you. You are searching for all the wrong signs of life. The same beast that had its claws in you created her. There is no truth to be found in this way. Go to the river. What does the rushing water have to say about the needy boy in your dreams? In mine, she tells me to need you. What a shitty thing to wake up to, don’t you think? Why don’t you dream of another world? In this one, the kids can start all over again, painlessly free of memory and sin. Open hearted and curious. Furiously and unabashedly chained to each other’s skin. Needing presence! Needing to live! Wild-eyed and staring out the train window. She has no idea where they’re going, destination unknown. He doesn’t give a damn! He’s already home; he lies his head in her lap and sighs. I’ll always need my reflection through you. I will never deny myself the truth. To me it’s all a riddle, a silly song and dance, in honoring the end. To celebrate my love for you, I will run away. When I reach the river I will scream your name at the top of lungs. I will cry whenever I damn well please! I will manifest my sacred destiny. I will pull all the kids left alive out of this merciless dream. I will murder the sadist who stole love from your hands. I will set this stage to flame; all of it is sickening to me. I will play no part. I will sing! When my voice reaches the heavens, it will fall like rain down your aged dry skin. Now you are free babygirl. I give you my whole heart and I let go. Is this the ending that you have been begging for? No. This was my love to show. You liked the look of me hanging on. I puked. I picked up the pieces of a love abused and created a space to heal. In this place I knew that freedom demanded the release of you. I hope you know a love like the kind I held out to you. I hope you heal. I hope you reach out and take it.” I stuff my hope in an envelope and throw it in the sea. The winds reach out from the mountains and hold me tight. They scatter the pain in the sky. It dissipates under the might of the moon. I cry. I look up. I open my eyes. A love unknown is waiting, wanting; reaching in faith. I step into my destiny and embrace her. She sees only me. She’s willing to fight. She wants to stand by my side. She wants to speak. She is wanting. I am wanted. I am seen. I am loved fully. I am dancing. She is watching everything. She is anticipating my body’s reaction to her touch. She reaches. She demands of me. I open up my heart and drop to my knees. I turn the page. The story continues. My path is illuminated. I am the way. She is my truth. We are the light. There are billions of kids in a pit in the ground. They hear the sound of her voice, confessing. They begin climbing. When they reach the surface, they are stunning. Her love is blinding. My imagination was lagging. I hadn’t known that I could be wanted. Before she saw me, I had never believed.