My timeline and other people’s timelines aren’t the same. And when I try to conform to what I think other people expect or want of me and I adopt their timelines it sets me up to be upset. Adopting other people’s goals for myself stresses me out. Does this happen to you, too?
Pursuing an “arbitrary” goal felt like turmoil to me and resulted in me creating drama and turmoil around me.
I couldn’t see how all this work was necessary and I desired SO MUCH attention for doing it that I normally don’t feel like I need when I am self-motivated. I basically watched myself blossom into a drama queen over the course of two weeks and had to talk myself off the cliff.
It made me wonder how often I have adopted other people’s ideas for me and felt this way, and did the experience of this ever become normal for me, or did I want to return to myself and my own goals?
I find there is a felt difference in my body that influences how I behave and express myself when I choose the expression of my goals vs. when I follow the advice of others without adding my own input or having requested the help.
I will do a lot for praise. It’s so human! I will do a lot of work, change how I do things, show up where I am uncomfortable, to get love and praise and respect from others.
What I realize now is that I need to provide that for myself. When I can give myself the love and praise I desire, I don’t need it so desperately from others. And I can feel a lot better about my small improvements because I can cheer myself on genuinely along the way.
Welcome to the full Spectrum Feeling Podcast. I'm your host, Blaze Schwaller, life coach and former tattoo artist. I help people heal their past, speak their truth to those they love, and learn how to feel ALL their emotions, so that they can live lives they love no matter what comes up. Join me here every week for conversations on how to live an imperfect but fully engaged life that embraces all the feels, so you can stretch into your best life while enjoying the you that's here now.